**It’s the next day at school, and the students are busy making their show and tell presentations. Sheen takes his seat after having shocked the class with his “limited edition” Ultralord underwear, and Ms. Fowl comes to the front**
MS. FOWL: Settle down chillldrennn! There’s only one person left for show and tell, and you know what thaaat means!
**There is a collective moan among the students**
MS. FOWL: That’s right, class! It’s time for another excitttinnngg presentation by JimmmmmyyyBEBOCK!
**Jimmy struts up to the front of the room, and Ms. Fowl leans down and whispers in his ear**
MS. FOWL: Jimmy, can you pleeaaaase keep the radioactivity to a minimum this time? Half of the students are still glowing from laaaast weeeek’s experimeeenntBRAWK!
JIMMY: Of course, Ms. Fowl. I assure you, my demonstration this week will be up to the highest safety standards.
**With a chicken-like flap of her arms, Ms. Fowl takes her seat, and Jimmy clears his throat to speak**
JIMMY: Ladies and gentlemen of our fair classroom…and Cindy…
**She sticks out her tongue at him**
JIMMY: …Be prepared to be awed and entertained by my latest invention. Before beginning, however, I feel obligated to provide a disclaimer. I warn you, what you are about to see may be too much for your meager minds to comprehend.
**The kids give him a blank stare, and Nick tosses up a coin and catches it**
NICK: (irritably) Dude, just get on with it.
BUTCH: Ya, some of us would like to get out of here before we actually learn something.
JIMMY: (rolling his eyes) Fine! Without further adieu, I present to you what might possibly be my greatest invention ever!!
**He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the red triangle. He holds it up above his head, and when it catches the light, it sparkles with a beautiful crimson aura**
BRITNEY: OOOH! It’s so pretty!
NICK: Hey, Check out the bling! So, Nerdbomb, are you making jewelry now too?
**The students laugh**
JIMMY: (indignant) It’s not jewelry! It’s a highly sophisticated teleportation device! It can transport people or objects to any location instantly, simply by attaching it to my specially designed Quantum GPS here.
**He pulls out a GPS and sticks it on**
CINDY: (raising an eyebrow) Greatest invention ever, huh? How many times have we heard THAT before? Ha! Maybe you should do us all a favor and transport yourself to the center of the sun!
JIMMY: Funny, Cindy. But no. I have a better idea! How about I transport you to the top of that flagpole out there?
CINDY: Excuse me?
**Jimmy smiles cruelly, then pushes a few buttons on the GPS. Before she can say another word, Jimmy points the triangle at Cindy. A beam of the sun’s light is refracted through it and hits her in the stomach. She glows red for a moment, and then she vanishes and instantly reappears on top of the flagpole outside. She yelps and grabs on, then shakes her fist at him**
CINDY: Neutron, you jerk! Get me down from here!
JIMMY: (ignoring her cries) As you can see, the Triangle uses solar power to transmit objects or, in this case people, from one place to another. And it works like a charm, if I do say so myself. Any questions?
**Sheen jumps from his chair and grabs Jimmy by the shirt**
SHEEN: Jimmy! You have to let me use that thing! I need to get to Ultralord’s homeworld in the Nebulon Galaxy, right now! The festival of heroism is about to begin, and if I don’t make it there, life will be meaningless!
**He dramatically “faints” on Libby’s desk, and she pushes him off**
LIBBY: No! I need to use it to get into Smallie Big Big’s concert! C’mon Jimmy! I’ll even buy ya a t-shirt while I’m there!
CARL: Hey that’s not fair, I want to use it! Jimmy
can I use
it please? I want to go to
**Butch rises up and looms over him**
BUTCH: (making a fist) You’d better give it to me, Neutron, OR ELSE!
JIMMY: Guys, you can’t….
BRITNEY: (interrupting) Like, what about me? I want it!
NICK: Uh, dudes, I think you’re all forgetting about ME here. I mean, really…
MS. FOWL: (joining in) Jimmy, is there aaaannnyyy chance that it could send me on an all expenses paaaaiid vaaaacaationnnnBEBOCK?!
JIMMY: Guys, back up! There’s something I have to tell you! Hey, guys? Hello! Hey, would everyone please LISTEN UP!!!! Thank you! What I’ve been trying to say is that NONE of you can use the Triangle. I haven’t perfected the chemical bonds yet, and the system is still incredibly unstable! If you do something wrong or let it build up too much of a charge, it could scatter your atoms or even plunge you into an alternate universe!
BRITNEY: (pouting) Oh, you’re no fun! You’re like such a party pooper!
NICK: Seriously, dude, why did you even bother to show us that thing at all if we couldn’t use it?
**There is a crash outside, and a moment later Cindy appears in the doorway, with a smudge of dirt on her cheek and fiery revenge burning in her eyes**
CINDY: I can answer that question. He showed you because he’s a big, pig-headed, arrogant, show off loser!!! He just wanted to remind all of you how smart and wonderful he is. RIGHT JERKTRON!?
**There is a moment of tense silence, and then the bell rings. Ms. Fowl and the kids take one look at the angry faces of Jimmy and Cindy and then bolt for the door. As soon as they’re gone, Cindy stomps over to Jimmy and gets right in his face**
CINDY: What is wrong with you? I just fell off of a flagpole and practically ate my own weight in dirt thanks to you!
JIMMY: Well then I guess you should have held on tighter, shouldn’t you have?
CINDY: Oh! I don’t even believe you just said that! You have absolutely no feelings at all, do you?!
JIMMY: Me have no feelings? You should be talking, little Miss icy heart! The day you have feelings is the day curved space freezes over!
CINDY: You’re just jealous because I will NEVER have feelings for you!
JIMMY: (taken aback) Oh, give me a break! All this is about is that you’re envious because I clearly demonstrated my superior intellect!
CINDY:
JIMMY: Wow Cindy, you do such a marvelous job of describing yourself. Maybe you’re not so wholly stupid after all.
CINDY: UGH! You little jerk! I hate you!
**She pushes him, and he pushes her back, and they continue arguing louder and louder. Sheen slaps himself on the forehead, and Libby walks up next to him**
LIBBY: There they go again. Why can’t they just get it together? I’m so sick of all this fightin’!
SHEEN: You said it, Libs. Psycho girl over there needs to get some serious anger management.
LIBBY: Uh! Excuse me? Are you insultin’ my best friend?
SHEEN: No!
**He looks away, then mutters**
SHEEN: But I don’t think it would hurt if she saw a shrink.
LIBBY: I heard that! And I wouldn’t be talkin’ if I were you! At least she isn’t a manic sugar addict who is in love with a stupid doll!
SHEEN: It’s an action figure, darn it! Get it through your head!
**Libby’s head tilts from side to side in time with her words**
LIBBY: DOLL DOLL DOLL DOLL
SHEEN: Shut up! I’m not listening LA
**Libby and Sheen start arguing, and Carl stands off to one side, watching them all fight. He starts to shake, then screeches at the top of his lungs**
CARL: STOP IT! STOP! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!
**Instantly they all freeze and stare at Carl in surprise**
JIMMY: Carl?
CARL: (wiping his mouth sheepishly) Sorry, guys. But I couldn’t take it anymore. Your constant fighting was aggravating my hernia.
LIBBY: (sighing) You’re right Carl, we’re actin’ completely ridiculous. Here me ‘n Sheen were arguin’ about the other two arguing! Let’s all just take a deep breath and go our separate ways.
JIMMY: That sounds like a good idea to me.
**He turns and walks towards the door, then motions for Sheen and Carl**
JIMMY: C’mon guys, we’ve got to get back to the lab. I’ll need to use the two of you as test subjects in my catastrophic meltdown simulator.
CARL: Now Jimmy, when you say “catastrophic meltdown”…
JIMMY: Don’t worry Carl; it’s totally safe. It’s only a simulation, after all.
**Jimmy exits the room, and Carl and Sheen follow obediently behind him. Cindy kicks the corner of his desk, then sits down in her chair and pouts**
LIBBY: Jeez, Cindy, moody much?
CINDY: Back off, Libby. I am NOT in the mood.
LIBBY: No kiddin’. But why are you so worked up? So what, he poofed ya outside onto the flag pole. He’s an idiot; you said it yourself.
CINDY: (looking away) He didn’t even say he was sorry. I could have been hurt and he didn’t even care.
**Cindy gets up and stalks out of the room, and
Libby is
left staring after her in bewilderment**