**A few minutes later, security systems around the base silently come back to life. Power levels rise, scanners reboot, and dormant patrol bots awaken. The life-signs detector comes back online as the surveillance equipment drinks deeply of its electrical elixir. Dictator Jimmy’s voice crackles over the newly re-activated the comm. link: one word uttered, then static**

DICTATOR: Aurora…

**The simple statement echoes throughout Sectors 1 to 4, a world of meaning compressed into three syllables. It ping-pongs between the walls, a sound wave made solid in three dimensions**

DICTATOR: I must congratulate you. Your plan to use April and Nav as a diversion was a success.

**He pauses, allowing silence to intrude for a moment**

DICTATOR: I went to investigate, and I must admit they caused quite a substantial amount of damage. However, the outcome of the encounter was, as you may have surmised, the inevitable one: both targets were successfully eliminated. Nav killed April, and I killed him. These are not taunts, these are facts. I am merely giving you the information you need.

**His words twist and turn through the jumbled passages as they snake toward their intended target. He pauses again**

DICTATOR: If you’d care to avenge your fallen comrades, I’ll be waiting for you in the control room. Let’s settle this, once and for all.

**With this terse closing, he switches off the intercom. Elsewhere in the sprawling complex, across jumbles of identical passages, over countless tiled floors and past gun turrets and hidden traps and unlabeled rooms, Future Libby claps a bandaged hand over her mouth**

FUTURE LIBBY: (gasping) I can’t…I won’t believe it! Not April an’ Nav!

**Future Sheen watches her reaction without comment**

FUTURE LIBBY: How could he! He…he’s must just be sayin’ that to mess with Aurora’s head. He must be lying again, just like he was about you…

**Sheen flinches almost imperceptibly, then looks away. She bends forward and peers around the corner, and he dares another glance at her. His eyes widen slightly as he blatantly ogles her backside. When she turns around again he gazes nonchalantly into the air, and she tips her head to the side and smiles**

FUTURE LIBBY: Let’s keep movin’…

**They proceed in their cautious march, tense and alert. Future Sheen leads, his restless fingers plucking the air. Future Libby whispers to break the silence**

FUTURE LIBBY: Sheen, I think…

FUTURE SHEEN: Shh. Do you hear that?

FUTURE LIBBY: Hear what?

**He lurches abruptly like a startled animal, and Future Libby jumps as well, more in reaction to his movement than to any perceived threat**

FUTURE SHEEN: That humming sound. The guns are coming back online.

**He points to the gun turret mounted above the doorway a few feet away**

FUTURE SHEEN: You hear it? You hear…RUN!!

**He grabs her wrist and jerks her forward, and she cries out from the pain in her burned hand. They leap through the doorway just in time for the gun to begin firing at the base of the exit – it misses them by a few inches. The violent, pinging ricochet still fresh in his ears, Future Sheen pulls one of Future Libby’s gold bracelets from her wrist and hurls it at the gun turret across the hall. It slices right through the cord hooked up to the motion sensor, and the weapon fizzles anticlimactically, then goes silent. She looks back and forth between the gun and Sheen, eyes strained in disbelief**

FUTURE LIBBY: (gaping) Was that…that’s not even possible! How did you even do that?

FUTURE SHEEN: Have you ever seen those guys on TV who cut stuff in half with playing cards? They just sort of wail them, and bam! Slice right through. Anyway, I remembered watching a show like that when I was a kid. Thought I’d give it a try.

FUTURE LIBBY: You…you…

FUTURE SHEEN: Heh heh, you like that? Wait to you see what else I can do!

**She stares up at the now harmless weapon, a wrinkle of disbelief still clinging to her features**

FUTURE LIBBY: Well, maybe you got it this time, but what about the rest of the guns? I’m gonna run out of bracelets.

**He laughs, then jogs across the hall**

FUTURE SHEEN: (gesturing at the mounted gun) I’ll take this one!

**He jumps up and grabs the stock, then wrenches the whole thing down. Sparks and a few wires rain down along with it, and Future Libby winces skeptically**

FUTURE LIBBY: Will that thing work now that you yanked it out of the wall?

FUTURE SHEEN: No idea! But it’s a pretty solid hunk of metal. Worse comes to worst, I’ll just chuck it at the next gun. Shall we?

**She follows somewhat reluctantly; casting glances over her shoulder. The next passageway has no weapon, and neither does the passage after that. As they sneak forward, Future Libby fights a growing unease. Biting her nails nervously, she tiptoes circles round herself, shoulders drawn tight**

FUTURE LIBBY: Uh, Sheen? They always tell a girl to never ignore her instincts, and right now I feel like we’re bein’ watched…

**His hand tightens around his weapon**

FUTURE SHEEN: I feel it too. I think it might be spyders.

FUTURE LIBBY: Spiders? How could spiders be watching us? ….You don’t mean genetically engineered super-bugs or somethin’!?

FUTURE SHEEN: No, not spiders. Spy-ders. With a y.

FUTURE LIBBY: Spy-ders? What are those?

FUTURE SHEEN: Exactly what they sound like. Little surveillance bots that look like spiders. I hate them.

**Something flashes in her peripheral vision, and she whips around just in time to catch a glance of scuttling, needle-like legs as they vanish into a patch of shadows. She shudders and moves a little closer to him. They come upon a small alcove just before a 3-way intersection of passageways, and Future Sheen motions for Libby to hang back while he checks the area**

FUTURE SHEEN: OK, I think we’re set. If we keep going at this pace, we should…

**He turns back to check on her, and his expression changes in mid-sentence. Lunging forward, he drops his gun**

FUTURE SHEEN: LIBBY! Behind you!

**Future Libby screams as a torrent of spyders streams down the walls and onto her body. She stumbles backward and crashes into a section of wall behind her as the shimmering metallic creatures engulf her. Future Sheen clears the distance between them in a single leap and slashes at Future Libby’s attackers, sending them flying one by one. As the last of the spyders retreats back along the sides of the corridor, the rhythmic sound of mechanical footsteps echoes from somewhere in an adjoining passage. He reacts quickly, pushing the shaking Future Libby into the darkened alcove between the halls. He shields her body with his own, his bare back exposed to whatever enemy might be approaching. He slides a hand over her mouth and leans in close to whisper**

FUTURE SHEEN: (whispering) Not a sound…

**Future Libby nods, eyes wide with fear. They stand motionless, every muscle drawn tight. Future Sheen gazes over his shoulder, watching intently for the slightest movement. After what seems like hours, the footsteps fade into the distance, and the corridor is once again plunged into silence. Future Sheen removes his hand from her mouth, and Future Libby slumps forward in relief, burying her face against his chest. With adrenaline-fueled clarity, she feels the texture of his skin, sticky with sweat, and notices the pattern of goose bumps that rise and fall with each breath. Blushing, she quickly straightens**

FUTURE LIBBY: (laughing nervously) I think we need to find you a shirt…

**She looks up at him with an unsure smile, expecting a laugh or a reassuring glance. When their eyes meet, however, the color drains from her cheeks, and she takes a step backward. His left eye is glowing, and his sudden, frightening smile leaves her throat feeling dry. He effortlessly pushes her against the wall with one hand and leans over her, his frame silhouetted against the partition of light beyond their darkened alcove. His teeth flash in the darkness, but her attention remains fixed on his eyes, which gaze back at her with a terrifying intensity. She squirms nervously, trying hard to look away from him. His free hand wanders to her hair, and he winds a stray braid around his finger, staring at it in fascination**

FUTURE LIBBY: (gaping) Sheen, what’re you doin’?

**In response he leans closer, and Future Libby shrinks back against the wall, the blood pounding in her ears. He touches her face, and her eyelids threaten to close. Desperately, she tries to regain control of the situation**

FUTURE LIBBY: Sheen!

**He doesn’t seem to hear her. He merely shifts his weight and brings his body closer to hers. His eyes travel over her features, devouring each one in turn, as if he were seeing her for the first time. When he speaks at last, his voice is low and distant**

FUTURE SHEEN: Ten years Libby…ten years I was locked in that cell. Do you know what ten years in the dark does to a person?

**She suppresses a squeak. A shiver runs down her spine as his hand wanders dangerously close to restricted territory. He grins and murmurs in her ear**

FUTURE SHEEN: You know what kept me from going insane?

FUTURE LIBBY: (hopefully) Ya mean, more insane than you already were?

**He doesn’t acknowledge her attempted joke, but merely smiles harder**

FUTURE SHEEN: YOU. The thought of seeing you again…

**Future Libby enters full-out panic mode. Dizzy from the sight of him, the sound of him, the smell of him, she grabs at the wall behind her in desperation**

FUTURE SHEEN: (eyes half-lidded) It seemed like I couldn’t get you off my mind. Your voice, your smile, your laugh…I waited for the day when I’d get to see you again.

FUTURE LIBBY: Sheen…don’t…

**He pets her hair, his red eye glowing brighter than ever**

FUTURE SHEEN: When I was all alone for those endless hours, I thought about this moment. I imagined your eyes…

**He leans in and gently brushes his lips across her eyelids**

FUTURE SHEEN: Your nose…

**He kisses the end of her nose, and his hot breath lingers in her nostrils. She shuts her eyes and tilts her head down**

FUTURE SHEEN: …Your lips…

**For a breathless moment Future Libby is sure that she is going to faint. Terror and anticipation well up inside her, but at the last minute Future Sheen straightens, suddenly tense**

FUTURE SHEEN: Footsteps again…

**He whirls around and stealthily creeps to the edge of the alcove and peers out. Future Libby seizes the opportunity to turn away from him and gather her wits. Heart pounding, knees shaking, she takes a deep breath**

FUTURE LIBBY: (to herself) Get a hold of yourself, girl! This is Sheen we’re talkin’ about here.

**Her hands fly to her burning cheeks, and she shakes her head violently, her braids flying**

FUTURE LIBBY: Oh jeez, why did he just do that? That was so…! Sheen doesn’t do stuff like that. Sheen is awkward and geeky and hyperactive and cute, not tall and dangerous and glowy and…oooh! Snap out of it girl!

FUTURE SHEEN: Uh…Libby? Who are you talking to?

**She snaps back to reality and, without meaning to, meets his eyes. To her profound relief, there is no trace of the hunger that was present just a moment before. He smiles back amiably, and the tension in the air breaks**

FUTURE SHEEN: Don’t worry, they’re going the other way. You’re perfectly safe here.

FUTURE LIBBY: (muttering) Safe from them, at any rate…

FUTURE SHEEN: What was that?

FUTURE LIBBY: Oh…n-nothing. What you were saying before. Are…are we almost there?

**He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly**

FUTURE SHEEN: Uh…to tell you the truth, I don’t really know how to get to the control room. I mean, I have a vague idea what the base looks like, but I’m kind of shooting blind here.

**She sighs**

FUTURE LIBBY: It’s OK. If we keep walking in the same direction, we’re bound to find it sooner or later. Maybe it’s better if we take our time anyway. Aurora probably wants to take care of this on her own.

FUTURE SHEEN: We’ll give her plenty of time, then…

**He looks her up and down, and she fidgets under his gaze**

FUTURE LIBBY: I didn’t mean…I just think we’d just be a distraction to Aurora. She…well, I mean, sometimes she…I uh…sometimes I…

**He grins briefly at her verbal train wreck, then motions for her to follow. Future Libby follows close behind, struggling to gather her discombobulated thoughts. He grabs the gun from the floor on their way out, twirling it in a painfully transparent attempt to impress her. She laughs in relief, and the two of them resume their silent trek toward the main control room. Closer…**

**Back in Sector 5, the door to the fifth room flies open, and six figures tumble through and land on the ground with an audible sigh of relief**

SHEEN: Aww, man! It’s a good thing I’m such a hyperactive insomniac or we would’ve all been stuck like Rip Van Winkle in there!

**Jimmy stands and straightens out his clothes**

JIMMY: How do you even know that term?

SHEEN: That’s what the doctor told my dad after this one time that I ran around the house for 48 hours straight.

JIMMY: Ah. Well, he was right.

**Libby yawns loudly and shakes Carl, who mutters incoherently**

CARL: No Mommy…just five more minutes…

**Jimmy helps Cindy to her feet, then prods Carl with the tip of his shoe**

JIMMY: You can get up now. The effect of the last room should have worn off by now.

CARL: Oh…

**The chubby boy rolls forward and grabs onto Sheen’s pant leg, then uses it to haul himself up**

SHEEN: Hey! You wanna watch where you’re grabbing?!

CARL: Sorry…

**They take a moment to survey their surroundings; the room is very long and oddly constructed – it starts out wide on either end, then pinches into a narrow passageway in the center, like a gigantic hourglass**

JIMMY: Hmm, guess the door out of here must be on the other side of that passage.

**Cindy takes a step forward, and a cloud of finely ground powder billows up on all sides of her foot**

CINDY: What the…? Neutron, there’s some kind of dust coating the floor.

JIMMY: Really?

**Frowning, he bends down to get a closer look. He brushes his fingertips across the ground, then rubs the substance between his fingers**

JIMMY: Weird. It feels like corn starch…

LIBBY: (looking down) Come to think of it, it’s all over my clothes.

CINDY: Ugh, mine too.

**The girls rapidly brush off their suits, kicking up the unidentified powder, which expands and rises in delicate plumes until it reaches face height. Jimmy’s eyes grow wide, and he pulls the collar of his shirt up over his mouth before he can inhale. His warning, however, comes a few seconds too late**

JIMMY: Hold your breath! Don’t breathe it in!

**Even as the words leave his mouth, the others break out hacking on the airborne particles**

LIBBY: (coughing) What is this stuff!

JIMMY: I can’t say with absolutely certainty, but I suspect it’s some sort of concentrated version of the love potion!

**Expressions of horror sweep through the group, and Sheen darts forward**

SHEEN: Quick, somebody break out the stinky cheese! I refuse to be at the beck and call of merciless lady love! I can’t lose my freedom! I have my pride as a man to consider! I have…well, helloooo sweet thang…

**He instantly changes pace and sidles over to Libby. He waggles his eyebrows and throws an arm around her shoulder, and she responds by giggling flirtatiously**

LIBBY: Oh Sheen, stop being such a kidder! You’re making me blush…

**He tickles the underside of her chin**

SHEEN: Hey there pretty lady…did you illegally park in a handicap space? ‘Cause you got ‘fine’ written all over you…

LIBBY: (playing with a lock of her hair) Cut it out!

SHEEN: Shall I compose a poem to your loveliness, a sonnet to your charms? Ahem: Libbylicious, you are sweeter than ice cream, more addictive than video games, hotter than summer vacation…

LIBBY: Sheen!

SHEEN: …more radiant than the Nebulon galaxy, and dare I say it, you make my heart beat faster than part 2 of the Ultralord season finale!

LIBBY: (drawing in her breath) More than Ultralord? Sheen, I’ve never heard such a sweet compliment! You sure know how to make me smile…

**He leans in closer**

SHEEN: I can do more than just make you smile…

**Jimmy gapes at the spectacle, eyebrows askew in simultaneous amusement and revulsion. Pulling his shirt tighter over his mouth, he awkwardly mimes sticking a finger down his throat**

JIMMY: Ugh! Gag me!

**He stiffens a moment later when he feels a pair of hands slide up his shoulder blades. Cindy leans over and whispers in his ear from behind**

CINDY: I think you like it…

**Jimmy’s eyes grow wide, and his cheeks flush bright red. She wraps her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder**

CINDY: You know how I’m always picking on you and giving you a hard time? It’s ‘cause you get to me. You get under my skin like nobody else can.

**Jimmy gulps, then carefully extracts himself from Cindy’s embrace**

JIMMY: (backing away) Uh, Cindy…I appreciate what you’re trying to say…but…uh…oh boy…

**Cindy advances toward him, eyes glittering alluringly**

CINDY: Remember when we were stranded on the island together?

**He nods dumbly**

CINDY: That was the happiest I’ve ever been. Whenever I’m having a hard day, I think back to that, and I feel better. Come to think of it, there’s nobody I think about more than you. Sometimes I spy on you across the street with my Mom’s binoculars.

JIMMY: OK, that is really creepy…and I…I…

**He feels his vision start to dim as the love potion slowly overpowers his judgment**

CINDY: I love your big show-offy brain and your junky little tin rocket. I love it when your experiments go horribly awry, because it gives me an excuse to rag on you…

**She clears the distance between them, and looking up at him from under her eyelashes, slides a hand up his chest**

JIMMY: No, no, you’re just saying that because of the pheromones…you don’t really mean it…we have to get to the door…we have to…

**Goddard’s rear compartment pops open, and the chorus of “Ice Ice Baby” starts blaring from his speakers**

JIMMY: Goddard! You’re not helping!

CINDY: (sparkly-eyed) Neutron…

JIMMY: (growing weaker) You smell so good…

**Streams of sensation drizzle down him like warm syrup as the airborne powder seeps through the fabric of his suit. Mind dulled, limbs weak, and innards knotted, he searches for a way to escape. Instead, he finds himself glued to his position, unable to control his own actions. He opens his mouth to chide himself, but instead a soliloquy pours forth, sickeningly romantic words penned against his will by some sadistic, all-controlling force**

JIMMY: (dramatically) Before you, Cindy, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

**Immediately after the words leave his mouth, Jimmy’s face crinkles into an expression of disgusted disbelief**

JIMMY: Ugh!! What in the name of Carl Sagan was that? Who SAYS stuff like that?

**Cindy takes a drag of the dusty air and then blows it out gently**

CINDY: Shh…

**She puts a finger to her lips**

CINDY: Just shut up and close your eyes…

**She leans in to kiss him, but before she can bridge the gap, someone yanks him backward, and Cindy ends up face-planting onto Jimmy’s chest instead**

CARL: (in a catty voice) Stay away from him! He’s mine!

JIMMY: (voice cracking) Wait, what? What the heck??

CARL: Don’t leave me, Jimmy! I love you even more than your Mom!

**Cindy flails her arms to regain her balance, and the brief pang of alarm causes her to return to her senses**

CINDY: What the…? Did Carl just steal Jimmy right out from under me? And since when did I become such a pathetic drool-monkey anyway?

**Libby’s voice rings out from across the room**

LIBBY: Wait, Sheen, come back! I can’t survive without you!

**Somebody grabs Cindy’s hand a second later, and she stumbles forward to find Sheen kneeling at her feet. He plants a kiss on her palm, then in a flourish jumps up and twirls her around**

SHEEN: Oh flower of my heart! Apple of my eye! Grapefruit of my hand! Miscellaneous fruit of my nether regions! I can resist you no longer…you’re so smart and blonde and talented!

**Cindy is shocked to find her natural reaction – detestation – give way to pleasant surprise. Her heartbeat quickens, and she stumbles over her words, suddenly bashful**

CINDY: Sh-Sheen, I never knew you felt that way!

SHEEN: Sure I do! How could I not be crazy about a girl like you?

CINDY: You mean, all those times that you got amped up on sugar, and I wanted to strangle you until your eyes popped out, you really were just trying to show me your real feelings?

SHEEN: You got it, sister. I think you’re the most angelic, most beauteous, most…most…

**His gaze wanders away from her face and re-focuses on a point in the distance**

SHEEN: Oh, wow…I never noticed what beautiful blue eyes Jimmy has…

**He drops Cindy, who lands with a thump on the dusty floor. Sheen pirouettes over to Jimmy, who is busy tickling Carl’s arm a few feet away. He rests his elbow on Jimmy’s shoulder, then flashes him a come-hither smile**

SHEEN: (seductively) Hey there, big boy…

**Jimmy looks over, and his mouth falls open**

JIMMY: Sheen…you’re so tall…

SHEEN: And your nerdy little genius routine makes me so hot…

**Carl glances past them and spies Libby, who is helping Cindy off the floor. In his mind, the lines of her body melt and coalesce into a giant candy Easter bunny**

CARL: (gaping) Oh my…Libby is a chocolate goddess!

**Libby pays him no mind; all her attention is fixed on her friend. She adjusts Cindy’s suit for her and gently brushes a lock of hair off her forehead**

LIBBY: Don’t worry about them, girl. They’re just stupid boys. We don’t need them.

CINDY: (blushing) L-Libby…

LIBBY: Shh…

**She kisses Cindy on the nose**

LIBBY: Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.

CINDY: Libby…you’ve always been there right next to me, but somehow I never noticed…

**Carl dashes forward after his cocoa idol, knocking Jimmy straight into Sheen’s arms in the process. There is a moment of breathless silence as their eyes meet**

SHEEN: (purring) James…

JIMMY: Sheen…I can’t stop thinking about you…

**Sheen leans in, his mouth millimeters from the other boy's**

SHEEN: Kiss me, my big-headed…HEY! What the heck?! Jimmy, what is your dog doing to my leg??

**Sheen pulls away, leaving Jimmy clear-headed for a moment. He shudders violently and repetitively wipes his mouth**

JIMMY: Of all the vile, repulsive…ugh!! I almost kissed Sheen! This is madness! This is…anarchy! We need to get out of here before this situation gets any more out of control!

**Carl dives forward and slides on his knees, coming to a rest in front of the girls, who are staring into each other’s eyes with a look of utter bliss**

CARL: Libby! Please love me! I’ll bring you cake and cookies and those weird rap CDs and anything that you want!

CINDY: (gasping) Why, Carl…you’re so rotund…

**Sheen yells out from his spot across the way**

SHEEN: Hey! I need wine and flowers over here! Goddard is SO high maintenance!

**Jimmy stares straight down at the floor, desperately trying to keep from looking at any of the others**

JIMMY: This is so hideously out of character! It’s like we’re caught in the middle of some horrible fanfiction! We’ve got to get out of here! Come on, Jimmy, think! Think…thiiiink….

**He retreats inside his own mind, searching for the elusive, last-minute inspiration that has saved him so many times before. Threads of insight wind through his inner vision, tangling and looping through cascading imagery, some real, some fanciful. But before he can arrive at a solution, his mental reverie devolves into a low-budget flick featuring a busty, bikini-clad Cindy running down the beach in slow motion. Further clarification fails to dawn on him, and his brain-blast comes to a close with nothing more than a lingering desire to see Cindy in yellow polka dots**

JIMMY: (angrily) What?! That was it? I can’t get my brain to cooperate at all!

**He beats his fist against his own forehead to punish the culprit, then, feeling defeated, looks up to see what sort of pandemonium might be unfolding. Sheen is chasing Carl around the room, while Cindy and Libby are curled up on either side of a pimped-out Goddard, who is blasting “This is why I’m Hot” at full volume**

SHEEN: Wait, Carl! I need you to bear my children!

CARL: I believe I can flyyyyyyyyy!…

**Fighting a wild, irrational attraction to each and everyone one of his friends, Jimmy suddenly has a flash of realization. What sense is there in fighting the love potion if he can use it to his advantage?**

JIMMY: Well, I can’t believe I’m going to do this, but…when in Rome…

**The others look up a moment later in response to the shrill whistle that resounds throughout the chamber. The sudden sound attracts their attention to Jimmy, who has assumed a seductive pose some distance away from the group. Back arched and rear end protruding, Jimmy touches a finger to his lips, his expression pinched into a coy, unsure smile**

JIMMY: Hey you guys…

**He winks, then twirls around once, executing a subtle hair-flip at the end of the revolution. The room plays scandalous tricks on their eyes – Cindy sees a lab-coat clad Jimmy, holding a bubbling test tube which casts greenish reflections on his face; Libby catches a glimpse of a boy in loose jeans, leaning coolly against a brick wall. Sheen sees an extremely feminine Jimmy decked out in a purple Ultralord swimsuit; Carl sees Jimmy with Judy’s hairdo, and Goddard sees a very inviting leg**

LIBBY: (fanning herself) What a hottie! I think I’m gonna pass out…

**Jimmy basks in the attention, calculating, letting his desire for all of their affections motivate his actions**

JIMMY: Ooooh guys…don’t you wanna come play with me? I have all the desirable qualities in a mate! I’m youthfully rubicund and obstetrically capacious!

SHEEN: I have no idea what that means, but I want me a piece of that!

**Jimmy turns and scampers away, swinging his hips from side to side in an over-the-top imitation of female decadence**

JIMMY: Ya, that’s right, come ‘n get me…

**The others bolt after him; as they squeeze through the narrow center of the room, they push and shove each other to vie for the best position**

CINDY: Out of my way, Carl, you big fat lump!

SHEEN: Cram it, sister!

CINDY: You cram it, ultrawimp! I’ll kick your –

LIBBY: Hey, he’s gettin’ away!

**Somehow the lust-intoxicated kids manage to break free from one another and stream out into the second half of the room. The moment they’re through, Cindy clenches her firsts, wheels around, and slaps Libby across the face**

CINDY: I saw you! I saw you looking at him! How dare you try to steal him from me? I thought you were my best friend, you back-stabbing man-eater!

**Libby drags the top of her hand across her mouth, and her shocked expression gives way to one of anger**

LIBBY: Man-eater? Oh, that’s rich comin’ from you! You were the one who stole Sheen from me back there, remember? You can’t just help yourself to what’s mine!

**Sheen drapes his arms around the both of them, feigning cool nonchalance**

SHEEN: Ladies, ladies…there’s enough of ‘the Sheen’ to go around for everyone. Don’t you worry your pretty little heads…

LIBBY: (throwing his arm off) Hey, don’t tell her not to worry! You’re supposed to be on my side, not hers!

**Jimmy marches over and thrusts his way in between them**

JIMMY: Why on earth would he be on your side? He’s my best friend!

**Behind his glasses, Carl’s eyes flash**

CARL: I thought I was your best friend, Jimmy.

JIMMY: You’re…you’re both my best friends…

CARL: You can’t have two!

SHEEN: (considering) He’s right. You’ll have to pick.

**Jimmy looks back and forth between the two, caught off guard**

CARL: Well, which one of us is it going to be?

**After a few seconds of silence, Sheen inflates his chest proudly**

SHEEN: Aha! See? I told you he liked me best.

CARL: No way! He didn’t even say anything!

**Cindy leans back against the wall, looking them up and down scornfully**

CINDY: Pfft, you’re both idiots. When it comes down to it, he’ll always put me first, and you wanna know why? Because I’ve got something that you don’t have.

SHEEN: Girly parts?

CARL: Halitosis?

CINDY: No you idiots! A brain!

**Libby rolls her eyes**

LIBBY: As if! Guys don’t care about that! They only care ‘bout how you look. And I think we all know who will be the prettiest when we grow up…

CINDY: Oh, don’t be so full of yourself! Your older self dresses like a skank!

LIBBY: Your older self IS a skank!

SHEEN: Oooh…burn…

CINDY: (whirling angrily) Shut up, Sheen!

**Their argument continues to escalate, becoming more and more irrational with each passing comment**

JIMMY: What are you talking about? My handwriting is infinitely superior! What about your stupid curly-cue nonsense could possibly make you think it’s better than mine?

CINDY: Puh. Yours looks like it was written by a malfunctioning robot!

GODDARD: Bark bark bark!

**Jimmy grabs at his head in frustration**

JIMMY: Ugh, just stop it, Vortex! Just stop it! Stop always trying to be better than me! It’s useless, useless, useless! You’ll never be better than me! And you look like a fool whenever you try! Just accept you’re second best and get on with your life!

**He breaks off, breathing hard. Sniffling in the quiet moment that follows, he wipes a finger under his nose, smearing sticky red across his face**

CINDY: N-Neutron…your nose…it’s…

**A few seconds later, tiny trickles of blood drip from all their nostrils. Carl teeters a little, sickened by the sight of blood. Jimmy holds his nose and tips back his head**

JIMMY: (voice muffled) Must be some sort of after-affect of that powdered love potion. Man, what were we thinking, shouting at each other like that? If this room was able to cause a nosebleed, who knows what other kind of psychosomatic damage we might be sustaining? I don’t want to get out of here only to collapse from internal hemorrhaging. Let’s keep our heads and keep moving.

**They nod, frightened by their own behavior. Clasping their nostrils shut in unison, they follow Jimmy to the door a few feet away. He turns the handle and pushes it open…**