Chapter 7: A Lesson in Gorlock Table
Manners
**She leads them out of the cockpit and down another hallway. Sheen runs ahead and begins asking Aurora annoying questions about whether or not she has met Ultralord in her travels, and whether or not he has a freckle on his left elbow like the kids online had told him. She does her best to ignore him as Jimmy hangs back and falls into step with Cindy and Libby**
JIMMY: (whispering) I can't figure her out, Cindy.
CINDY: Huh? What?
JIMMY: Your alternate self. She's like you...but different. Something is VERY wrong, but I can't figure it out. I can't make sense of her.
CINDY: Well, she is 10 years older than me. People change, Neutron. Besides, why do you have to make sense of her? Life isn't all about analyzing people you know. She is…I am...complicated.
LIBBY: I dunno…that might be true, but I agree with Jimmy. Somethin’ bad happened, big-time. I can feel it.
CINDY: (sarcastically) Well, glad to see you're such an optimist, Libby. Will you stop ragging on Aurora? I mean, I think she's cool!
LIBBY: Oh, she's cool all right. But Cindy…somethin' doesn't ring right here. I'm your best friend. Trust me.
CINDY: If you're my best friend, why is my future self teamed up with April? Where are YOU, Libby?
LIBBY: That's exactly what has me worried. Where is everyone? Where are Jimmy, Sheen, Carl, and I? You're not even here Cindy…Aurora isn't YOU. You're gone…you've changed…and what happened to all your friends?
CINDY: Oh please! Did you really expect me to hang around with you guys forever?
LIBBY: (looking crushed) I'm sorry you feel that way, Cindy. I guess if you don't want me around, then I'll go.
JIMMY: You're such a clueless idiot, Vortex. We were only trying to help.
**Libby and Jimmy pick up their paces and leave Cindy behind. She stares at their receding figures in bewilderment and frustration**
CINDY: What? What did I DO? Guys! Hello!
**She waves her arms at them, but they ignore her. Luckily for Cindy, their silent treatment is brought to an abrupt end when they reach the kitchen**
SHEEN: (pushing ahead) All right, man! I'm starved! Bring on the grub!
**Sheen jumps into the room, then stops**
SHEEN: Hey, what are you trying to pull? This doesn't look like a kitchen! Where's the microwave and the fridge? What about the chairs for crying out loud? And hot pockets? I want some HOT POCKETS!
**The rest of the kids filter into the room, which is brightly lit and spotlessly clean. The walls are covered in chrome cupboards and panels, and in the center of the room is a large, rectangular slab of metal. The floor is checkered black and white, and a slight scent of cleaner permeates the air**
LIBBY: Ya, what is this? It's more like a hospital than a kitchen.
CINDY: It certainly smells like one. What is that? Ammonia?
AURORA: I don't smell anything.
SHEEN: Well I do! I expected the scent of a wholesome, home cooked meal! Or at least some nachos! What kind of future is this?
**He dramatically puts his head on Libby's shoulder**
AURORA: Relax. I'll get some food whipped up in a second. I'll fire up the food synthesizer and…
JIMMY: Food synthesizer? You have a working food synthesizer?
AURORA: Duh! Everyone does nowadays. Like I was saying, you guys can help yourself to some chairs. They're in the top cupboard on the right.
CINDY: Chairs, in a cupboard?
AURORA: Yup.
**Aurora walks over to a little alcove in the right wall and begins pushing buttons. Jimmy stands on his tiptoes to try to open the cupboard, but can't reach it**
CINDY: (mocking) What's the matter, Neutron? Need a little help?
JIMMY: (glowering) Not from YOU.
AURORA: Will you two get over it and just get the stupid chairs? Jeez you're annoying!
LIBBY: Here Cindy, I'll give ya a boost.
**Libby helps Cindy up and she opens the cabinet doors. She pulls out a stack of metal disks and jumps back down**
SHEEN: What are those? I thought we wanted chairs, not Frisbees!
AURORA: They're not Frisbees. Toss them up in the air and see.
CINDY: Won't they shatter when they land?
AURORA: Just do it.
CINDY: Whatever.
**Cindy chucks them up into the air, and the kids follow the disks as they plummet towards the floor. An instant before impact, the edges begin to glow a light blue, and they bounce back up and hover in the air around waist height**
LIBBY: Wow! Floatin' chairs!
SHEEN: (climbing on one) Hey, how cool is this? Check it out babes! I'm a bird, I'm a plane, I'm…really getting higher! Waaahhh!
**Sheen's chair spirals upward and he cracks his head against the ceiling **
SHEEN: Ouch! Jeez! Hey…hey, this is cool! I can control how high it goes by how hard I push my butt down! Ha ha!
**He begins bouncing up and down, then swirls round and round until he nearly falls over from dizziness**
LIBBY: Here, lemme try!
**She hops on and rises up. Sheen is swooning in a blur of vertigo, and Libby floats over to him and holds up three fingers in front of his face**
LIBBY: Sheen? How many fingers am I holdin' up?
SHEEN: (squinting) Uh…Five? Eight? Pah, who cares! Let's dance, baby!
**Sheen grabs her hands and they spin round and round in the air**
LIBBY: Wow oh no...whoa…wow wa ha ha ha ha this is so much fun! Cind, you gotta try this girl!
**Cindy jumps onto hers, and Jimmy follows her example. They rise upward into the air**
JIMMY: Incredible! The aerodynamics on these are way ahead of anything I've ever seen!
CINDY: (standing up) I bet you can't balance on yours, Neutron!
JIMMY: Oh yeah? Watch me!
**He springs up and smiles defiantly**
JIMMY: See, what I tell you? Ha! I bet I can go faster than you too. I'll race you…first person to do 12 laps around the kitchen wins!
CINDY: You're on! Better say your prayers, Neutron. You're not gonna have a pleasant landing.
LIBBY: Guys, don't do anything stupid.
CINDY: What are you talking about Libs? I'm just gonna teach this obnoxious big head a little lesson, that's all. That is, if he's still conscious by the end of the race.
JIMMY: Let's just hope you're awake enough to grovel when I win.
SHEEN: All right! Let's get crack-a-lackin'! On your marks…
LIBBY: Guys…
SHEEN: Get set…
LIBBY: Careful you guys!
SHEEN: Snow! Ha, almost tricked you didn't I? GO!
**They take off and whiz along the walls at super high speeds. They round the first corner, Cindy slightly in the lead. Sheen and Libby cheer them on as they complete the first lap, then the second, then the third. They go faster and faster until the spectators have a hard time keeping up with them**
LIBBY: Guys, slow down! You're gonna get hurt!
**Cindy and Jimmy are focusing with everything they've got to keep from crashing. Knees bent, they fly through the air, hair whipping and clothes rustling, eyes intent and focused. Aurora returns from an adjoining room, carrying a stack of boxes. She looks up at them**
AURORA: What the…what the heck are you doing? The chairs aren't meant to handle that kind of abuse! Get down from there!
JIMMY: Not a chance Aurora! I'm beating Cindy at her own game!
CINDY: Not on your life, pal!
**They near the final lap of their race, and Jimmy pulls ahead into the lead. Cindy, desperate not to lose, grits her teeth and whacks her chair against his. The impact sends them both careening into the wall, and they lose control and tumble through the air and land with a crash in the hallway outside**
LIBBY: Guys! Are you OK?
**She rushes out into the hall and Sheen follows her**
JIMMY: (jumping up) Way to go Vortex! That little stunt could have gotten us seriously injured!
CINDY: Way to keep your balance, clutz! It wasn't my fault you lost control!
JIMMY: Clutz? You're the one that plowed into me! You just couldn't bear to lose to me, could you?
CINDY: Shut up!
AURORA: (coming into the hallway) Will you two get a grip? You've only been on my ship for half an hour, and already you're at each other's throats. Quit the fighting! Get it?
**The kids are silenced, and Cindy and Jimmy grouchily return to the kitchen. The gloomy expressions are instantly wiped from their faces when they see the piles of pizza boxes and crates of Purple Flurp that are stacked onto the rectangular table**
LIBBY: You...you made pizza? And Purple Flurp? How did you do that?
AURORA: The food synthesizer is pretty handy, isn't it?
SHEEN: Awesome! That food syntha...synthosaurus...whatever...is cool! I gotta get me one of those! Then I could make all the anchovy peanut butter Jell-O pie I wanted and nobody would look at me weird!
**They all throw him a weird look**
SHEEN: What!? It's good!
**They stare at him a moment longer, then everyone pulls up their chairs and helps themselves to the food**
LIBBY: Mmm-mmm! Pizza never tasted so good!
SHEEN: (stuffing his mouth) Mmmpfhhh ump lockmmph stumphff!
LIBBY: Sheen, didn't your mother ever teach you table manners?
SHEEN: (shrugging) She tried…
**Footsteps approach, and April, Goddard, and Carl appear in the doorway**
JIMMY: Carl! You're OK!
CARL: Jimmy! Sheen! I missed you guys!
GODDARD: Grr, eow, bark bark!
JIMMY: We were wondering when you'd wake up! You fainted pretty bad back there. How do you feel?
CARL: I feel really good. Thanks to April.
**He giggles and glances over her shoulder at her, smiling childishly**
CARL: She's a REAL good nurse.
SHEEN: C'mon over Carl! We've got pizza!
CARL: (perking up) Pizza!
**He clears the room in one bounding leap and practically throws himself on the food. He grabs a slice in each hand and alternates biting each one, then gulps down a can of soda and burps loudly**
CARL: BUUUUUUURRRRPPPP!!!!
**He daintily dabs at the corners of his mouth with a napkin**
CARL: 'Scuse me.
APRIL: (sitting down) Oh! You made Earth food again? Aurora, I thought it was my turn to cook!
AURORA: You can cook tomorrow, April. I didn't want to freak out the kids by making them Gorlock food. They've already seen enough scary things for one day.
**Aprils wrinkles her nose in disgust at the pizza**
APRIL: But Aurora…
AURORA: Don't flip out. I made you something to eat too.
**She opens a box at the far end of the table and hands April a plate of wriggling, gelatinous THINGS that squirm and crawl and twitch about. The scaly, greenish purple mass makes a sort of squelching sound as its various parts pulsate and quiver on the plate's surface. April beats it into submission with her fist, and then begins shoveling the stuff into her mouth with one clawed hand. The kids all stare at her in revulsion**
CINDY: What is THAT?
APRIL: Tek-nok-Shii len. A delicacy on my homeworld. Would you like to try some?
ALL: NO!
**April smacks the food some more, then gobbles the rest up. She burps loudly, pushes the plate away, then puts her feet up on the table and starts picking her teeth. The kids stare at her, eyes practically falling out of their heads**
AURORA: You'll have to forgive April, everyone. Gorlock cuisine and table manners are...um…adventurous. In fact, it's considered an insult in Gorlock culture if you don't burp after a meal and put your feet on the table.
JIMMY: Ooh…
CARL: I don't know...my dad says we shouldn't ever put our feet on the table. It could transfer foot and toenail fungus into our food.
SHEEN: Don't be silly Carl! My dad says that the best way to build up a strong immune system is through exposure. Like this!
**He sticks his foot in his mouth**
LIBBY: Ewww! I'm eatin' here!
CINDY: (putting down her piece of pizza) Aurora, how do you know that it's an insult in Gorlock culture to do these things? Have you ever been to Planet Gorlock?
AURORA: Been there? I've lived there for the past 10 years!
JIMMY: W-What??? How? Why? All right, this is getting out of control. It's high time you answered a few questions. I want an explanation for all of this! You told me that you knew the one distinguishing event that changed your universe forever. Now tell us!
AURORA: Fine, fine, you win. I'll tell you everything. But first, I have a question for Libby.
LIBBY: Me?
AURORA: Yes, you. Libby, how old are you now? And how long ago was your last birthday?
LIBBY: I just turned 12 on December 11. It was a couple a months ago. Why?
AURORA: A couple of months? And you're all still friends? I was right, then. OK everyone, I'm going to tell you a story, and through it I hope I'll answer most of your questions.
CARL: Oh goodie, I love stories!
AURORA: (glaring at him) Hopefully,
I'll be able to get through it without too many interruptions. This
story spans the length of 10 years and will be very disturbing for
some of you. It is the story of me, and how I came to be what I am
now.