Questions for Future Sheen

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Question from Gwen:  Future Sheen: WILL YOU MARRY ME? Haha, jk. What made you so brave when you teleported Libby?


FUTURE SHEEN: He was going to hurt her if I didn't. Libby was miserable; what life did she have there? She was in danger. Getting away was the only chance she had. I wasn't even really thinking at the time. It was just sort of...instinct. Better me than her, you know? I knew what would happen to me if I sent her, but somehow it just hit me all of the sudden that it didn't matter anymore. As long as she was safe, it didn't matter. I guess that's it. It's kind of hard to explain.

**moment of silence**

Were you serious about that marriage thing?


Question from Gwen: Future Sheen: Speaking hypothetically, if Future Libby were to somehow die, could a 15 year old, black haired, crazy-for-you girl become your girlfriend? --nervous laugh—


FUTURE SHEEN: . . . .Do you have a big butt?


Question from mariorp: Future Sheen, are you still weird in the future like you were when you were younger?


FUTURE SHEEN: Yup, I'm still pretty weird  :-D I guess in a different way, though. I'm not as...carefree. But I still have no attention span. What was I saying again?

Question from Loopin:  future Sheen, when you got all those scars on your face, did it it Hurt?? Or where you like knocked out or something?


FUTURE SHEEN: Actually, they're tattoos, not scars. Not ink tattoos though...they're heat tattoos that were burned onto my skin. So yea, they hurt. BAD.

Question from Cameron:  future sheen, are you still addicted to candy?


FUTURE SHEEN: I'm going to answer your question with another question: are you still addicted to breathing?               

Question from Georgia:  Random one to Future Sheen: If you've been pretty much just locked in a cell for ten years (or so), how have your muscles not atrophied from underuse? (According to reliable sources, you are, in fact, quite buff now.) I mean, did you run laps around your cell, or what? (Apologies if the question's a little traumatic. Y'know, bad memories and such.)


FUTURE SHEEN: I wasn't just lying around in a dinky cell the whole time. Jimmy took me out to exercise and do tests and whatnot. I guess I should be more of a wuss from sitting around as much as I did, but I think that's one of the effects of the gene alterations or whatever - I stay ripped even when I sit on my butt.
...speaking of which, who are these "reliable sources" that say I'm buff?

Question from Krista: ALRIGHTYO.
At Future Sheen:
Would you ever sing the song "I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE" for any reason on any occasion?
FUTURE SHEEN: I'm glad you asked, Krista. Because it just so happens that I've been practicing that exact song, and I've invited a couple of the other TOSOT cast members to back me up.


**cue lights**
**spotlight Aurora and April. Aurora's got her arms crossed, and April is wearing a sideways baseball cap**

Oh, my, God, April, look at Libby's butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.

APRIL: But, y'know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like she's from Shangri Llama, 'kay?

AURORA: I mean, her butt, is just so...big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!

APRIL: She's just so ... black!

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung!

Can't feel the air in your lungs
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the suit she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so...corny?

Ooh, Rumple smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
Play vet, my pet
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average Mexican and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas!

NAV LEE and DJ: (Yeah!)

SHEEN: Fellas!

NAV LEE and DJ: (Yeah!)

FUTURE SHEEN: Has your girlfriend got the butt?

NAV and DJ: (Hell yeah!)
LEE: No... :'(
FUTURE SHEEN: Tell 'em to shake it!

NAV LEE and DJ: (Shake it!)


NAV LEE and DJ: (Shake it!)

FUTURE SHEEN: Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

NAV: (LA face with Oakland booty)
FUTURE SHEEN: Baby got back!

I like 'em round, and well
When I'm locked up in a cell
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I ain't talkin' 'bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys!
*(except Ultralady)

You know I want 'em Libbylicious
Which I'll rhyme with delicious
The Sheen's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

NAV: Who the heck is Flo Jo?

FUTURE SHEEN: I have no idea...
So, ladies!

FL, AURORA, and APRIL: {Yeah!}


FL, AURORA, and APRIL: {Yeah}

FUTURE SHEEN: Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes

AURORA: You have a Mercedes?

FUTURE SHEEN: Then turn around! Stick it out!
We Mexicans got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

So Cosmo says you're fat...

COSMO: I said no such thing!

FUTURE SHEEN: Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-SHEEN4U
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

NAV, LEE and DJ: (Little in the middle but she got much back) x4

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