Questions for Nav Aksha'at

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Question from Pigquet: @Nav--How do you pronounce your last name? Know that's lame and slow, but I have to learn.


NAV: Pheeow...OK. Let's see. Nav Aksha'at. The "a" in my first name is a flat-sounding the one in "avenue" or "dad".

All the a's in my last name are soft-sounding a's, pronounced "ah". The inflections are different, though. On the first A, Aksha'at, your voice goes down, like when saying "squawk". On he second a, Aksha'at, the inflection goes up, like when saying "duh". The third a, Aksha'at, sounds just like the word "ought".

The little apostrophe between the two a's indicates a stop. So there's a miniscule pause, resulting in the pronunciation "akh,sha,at".

...Don't even get me started on how to pronounce my sister's and parents' names. 


Question from andrea: Nav: -why do you have to be so cool!?
-what was the first accident u ever had?
-were you very mischievous when you were a kid?
-do you like music? if so, what kind?
-do u have any brothers or sisters? how big is your family?
-have you always wanted to become what you r now? :-P


NAV: (shrugging) I guess whatever mighty, super-intelligent, incredibly talented higher power created me just saw fit to make me this way.  ;-)

Hmm...the first accident I ever had, if I recall my parents' stories, was when I was a year old and I climbed out of my crib and fell down the heating vent. The first I actually remember, however, was when I was about 6 or 7 and I broke into the school mechabiochemistry lab, mixed a few things together, and they blew up in my face.

So ya, I guess you could say I was mischievous, if by mischievous you mean "constantly in trouble with every teacher and the hero of my entire class". Of course, education was a bit weird on Numeria. Boys and girls went to separate schools, and religion was imposed upon students very strictly. My teachers' hypocrisy really bothered me - they lectured us about rules and religious codes and then broke those same rules on a daily basis - so I spent most of my childhood acting out, trying to prove to the world just how ludicrous the whole system was.

Over time, though, it became staggeringly clear to me that my efforts were nothing more than a waste of energy. One by one, all of my friends adopted the religious doctrine and became the same pompous, humorless lackeys that I had spent my childhood loathing. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against religion - just the institutionalized use of religion to herd the masses into a meaningless, rule-driven existence controlled by an elite few. I refuse to follow laws set out by a bunch of hypocrites that aren't even written anywhere in our holy book. It just really pisses me off. Now that I think about it, it's really the only thing that pisses me off.

Anyway, I guess I didn't set out to become the seventh most notorious criminal in the galaxy. I mean, does anyone ever really set out to do something like that? I just can't picture some kid coming out and saying, "gee, Mommy, I think I'd like to be a hunted criminal when I grow up! Wouldn't that be fun?!" Circumstances just got out of control.

It all started when I was about 16. I was walking home one day after Shaha'da class (where we were taught to memorize the laws of our holy book) and I witnessed something that pretty much spun my life forever. On the street leading to my home, I came upon a young woman who had just been caught stealing some bread from the local bakery. It turns out that her husband had abandoned her because she had only been able to have female children, and now she and her two little daughters were starving.

Since you don't know anything about Numerian religion, let me clarify: women are nothing more than possessions in the eyes of our culture. They have no rights, no voice, and most are treated worse than dogs. They can't work, they can't attend school past a certain point, and they are usually married off extremely young and spend their lives taking care of their husbands' every whim and desire. Of all the things I can't stand about Numeria, that's the worst. In addition, any crime committed by a woman is considered a capital offense. In other words, stealing that loaf of bread was a crime punishable by death.

The religious police killed that poor woman right in front of her two children, and then left them abandoned on the street to fend for themselves.

Something in me just couldn't take it anymore. I almost lost it. Every time I saw that woman's dying face I pictured the face of my little sister, and my mind flashed forward ten or fifteen years. I thought, what if she gets married off to some drunken wife-beater, and I can't do anything to help her? What if she somehow breaks a rule and ends up getting executed? How can I let my sister live on a planet where they'd kill a woman for trying to save the lives of her own children?

You see, my little sister is pretty much an angel in Numerian form. I practically worship that kid. She's like straight out of those bad Earth movies where a lovely maiden goes out and sings in the woods and all the wildlife flocks to be with her. She's innocence and sweetness all bundled up and tied with a bow. I would give her anything, do anything for her. It's actually kind of pathetic. If she asked me to jump off a cliff, I'd say "which one?". Numeria wasn't the place for someone like her. I decided the best thing I could do for her was to give her a chance at a different kind of life.

So, the next night, I carried my sleeping little sister out of her room. I found the two little girls whose mother had been murdered, and I took them with me too. The four of us snuck aboard an old cargo ship, and I hotwired the system. I'll admit that I might have read a couple hundred textbooks in the mecha-chem lab when I was supposed to be memorizing doctrine.  ^_^ Fifteen minutes later we were in space.

All of this took some explaining to my sister, but being 8 years my junior she wasn't particularly opposed to a big space adventure with her brother. Not that it was going to be a big space adventure. I already had a course of action set out.

I took my sister and the orphan girls to Mejair, which is a planet that I chose deliberately for its matriarchal system. The women make the rules on Mejair, so I knew my sister would never be forced into the powerless life she would have had on Numeria. I stayed there for about a year while my sister grew acclimated to life on the new planet. It came as no surprise to me how quickly she adapted. Then again, I always knew she was destined for great things.

As soon as she was well-established, I left Mejair and returned to Numeria. Living on another planet for a year had made it blindingly clear to me just how despicable Numeria was. Somewhere in the boiling cess-pool of hatred and anger that was otherwise known as my brain, a thought formulated. It went something like, "You think THAT'S stealing? You don't know the meaning of the word".

After that, I went on a bit of a crime spree on Numeria. I stole anything and everything owned by the government, each time leaving some kind of note or message DARING them to catch me. If God was on their side, I argued, then surely they should be able to apprehend me easily. Their growing frustration each time I escaped filled me with the worst kind of glee. Finally, after publically exposing their helplessness for a final time, I made an announcement. I would continue stealing from anyone and everyone until I amassed enough money to BUY Numeria and end this ridiculous regime once and for all. Then I blew up the religious headquarters and the local police establishment.

That was it for me and my home planet. I've never gone back since. The good news, however, is that I'm about two thirds of the way there in terms of money. Maybe I'll exile those pompous idiots to Mejair once I own Numeria  :-D

Let's end this rolicking good tale on a positive note, shall we? ...My favorite music. I have to say, I enjoy a good love song. Mejair has some great ones.


Question from Miss Punk: How old are you? What's your favorite color? Do you still have feelings even if you’re partly a robot?


NAV: I'm 24, my favorite color is anything that can be sold for large sums of money, and I'm a soulless robotic shell devoid of any emotions. Jeez, what do you think? Of course I have feelings! I'm offended that you could even ask a question like that. ...Just kidding.  ;-P

Interesting fact though: because part of my liver is robotic, and I have nanites in my digestive system, I can drink a ridiculous amount of alcohol and not even get drunk in the slightest. Top THAT.  ^_^


Question from Rachel: Out of all the money and priceless possessions you've stolen, which is your favorite?  What is your greatest fear?


NAV: Hmmm...good question. I suppose my favorite stolen item isn't exactly that's actually more of a hunk of junk. I'm talking about my spaceship, of course. The Shaha'da, as I affectionately refer to her, is held together by not much more than used gum and paperclips, but she and I have been through a lot together. Haven't we snookums...who's a good ship? Who is it!

Ahem. My greatest fear is that I will be abducted by red aliens, tickled mercilessly, and made to eat Tek-nok-Shii len through a straw. I'm kidding, of course. My greatest fear is probably something happening to my sister. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.


Question from andrea: That sounded like Hans Solo! :-P


 NAV: Well duh. He's only the coolest Star Wars character ever. I used to mooch old Earth channels that had been broadcast into space. I saw the weirdest movies.


Question from Gwen: Nav, F. Carl, Sheen, Lee? Whatchu whatchu know?


NAV: Whatchu know 'bout me? Whatchu whatchu know 'bout me?

They say my lip gloss is cool

My lip gloss be poppin'!

I'm standing at my locker

And all the boys keep stoppin'...


That is the worst earth song I have ever heard in my entire life. If I weren't sexist in favor of women, I'd - what's the phrase I'm looking for here? - "pop a cap" in L'il Mama's talentless derriere

LEE: You can sing too? Why are you good at everything??? **lament**

F. CARL: I kinda like the song...

SHEEN: I kinda like L'il Mama.


Question from Flank: Nav: What do you do with all stolen stuff? OK, you don't have to answer this question, unless you buy something for April on it.


NAV: As I mentioned before, I'm saving up to BUY Numeria so I can put all those power-crazed, hypocritical old windbags out of a job and make Numeria a place where people can actually have reasonably decent lives.
I'm doing it so someday my sister - and all Numerian women, for that matter - can actually have a VOICE. I'm doing it so that they can count for something more than just property.

I'm no idiot. I know that money makes the world go round. And the more money I get, the more I get to say WHICH way the world goes round.
For me, stealing is revenge, but it's also a way to fight injustice. I don't care who I steal from, as selfish as that may sound. The end justifies the means.

...By the way, can I have your watch?

Question from Kaytron: Nav, how come you're part robot? Is it a Numerian thing or did something happen to you? I hope you're not offended.


NAV: Haha, no, it's definitely not a Numerian thing :-P

In fact, I'd say that most Numerians would be disgusted by my mechanical parts. On Numeria, if you suffer an injury and lose a limb, it's considered the will of God. You're not allowed to get a prosthetic limb.
But yeah, I did acquire my lovely mechanical bits-and-pieces through an accident - or more accurately, a series of accidents. A bulletwound here, some shrapnel there, a bomb that hadn't been diffused properly... My robotic add-ons are the product of bad luck and sheer stupidity on my part. Or, in a more optimistic light, they are the product of insanely good luck, because I could have (and probably should have) died in each of the mishaps that made me what I am today.

Question from Katie: Okay, here's a question that has been bothering me. It may have been answered already... maybe even in TOSOT, and I just missed it, haha. But yeah, so Nav. He's...not human. What exactly is it that makes him not human? What differentiates him physically from humans? Outside of the cyborg stuff, cuz that isn't part of his normal anatomy.


RANDOM GALACTIC ANTHROPOLOGIST: Ahem, yes, I see. The Numerians. A fascinating people.  **adjust spectacles** Very little is known about the origin of the Numerian people. Their own oral history goes back only 5,000 years - beyond that, there are no real records of their existence.
Considering Numeria's prominent features - such as a lack of other primate species, arid climate, lack of seasons (caused by a 1 degree tilt on their axis), and small oceans - it seems strange that the Numerians would have evolved to be almost genetically identical with the people of Earth. Several theories have been proposed to explain this phenomenon.
The first theory suggests that humans and Numerians are perhaps the most dramatic example of parallel evolution imaginable - a sort of interplanetary fluke of flabbergasting proportions. The current differences in the planet's features are due to a cataclysmic event of some kind that occurred about 5,000 years ago, and not only wiped out a large percentage of the life on the planet, but also altered the climate and destroyed whatever civilization may have preceded it.
The other main theory is favored by alien abduction buffs, and suggests that one of the other alien races in the galaxy actually took a number of humans from Earth and transplanted them on Numeria some 50 centuries ago. The motivation behind such an action is unclear.
The latter theory seems to be supported by the Numerian creation story, which states that their people walked down from the sky 5,000 years ago on a stairway of fire. Hmm, the Numerian religion is quite fascinating. In addition to being fully integrated into every aspect of social and political life, it also provided a myriad of references to "good, evil, and apathetic celestial beings". Consequently, when contact was made with extraterrestrials, no panic ensued. In fact, it only served to cement the other tenets of religious life.

NAV: Ya, like rampant sexism, idiotic self-importance, and complete lack of logical thought.

RANDOM GALACTIC ANTHROPOLOGIST: Ah, yes, well, it is not my place to judge.

NAV: Well it IS mine, and I say that Numeria is one big fat steaming pile of STUPID.

Question from Gwen: Dearest Nav, through your captivation of 97% of the viewing audience's hearts, has any of the attention gone to your head? ;)


NAV: Of course it has! Isn't it comforting to know that your doting affection is transforming me into a swell-headed arrogant prick even as we speak? ...Just kidding. I love you guys. Platonically, unfortunately.

Question from Gwen: Random question for Nav, actually to all the characters.... What would you do for a Klondike bar?


DJ: I would exterminate all life in the universe. 
APRIL: I would initiate a duel, and we would fight until the victor stood over the bloody body of their slain opponent, Klondike bar held high in triumph. 
LEE: I would offer to trade something for it, perhaps? 
NAV: Steal it, of course. DUH. 
FUTURE LIBBY: I would begin by asking very nicely. And, if that didn't work, I would try to buy it. If that didn't work, I'd just take it and eat it and then pretend like I didn't do it. 
FUTURE SHEEN: Hey, why the hell aren't you giving Libby a klondike bar? Don't make me smack a bitch! 
FUTURE CARL: Um, I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't really eat ice cream... 
AURORA: I only want DJ's klondike bar.

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