Hi Everyone, Mara S. here again with my
second fanfic, “Me, Myself, and Two of You”! In the interests of
shameless
self-promotion, I'd like to point out that this fanfic was, in its
time, a sort of
living legend on the Nick.com boards. If
you haven’t read it, you don’t know what you’re missing! So sit down,
grab some
popcorn, and get ready for some serious entertainment!
**It’s a rainy, fairly glum day in Retroville, and Jimmy is down in has lab tinkering with a variation on an old theme, the time machine. Carl is hovering over his shoulder, watching intently, and Sheen is standing close by, picking out dirt from underneath his fingernails with a hypodermic needle**
SHEEN: (stabbing himself) OW! You cruel piece of metal! Curse you and all your kind!
**He throws the needle and it sticks into a nearby wall**
SHEEN: Uh, Jimmy, will you please remind me why we’re down here again? I’m so bored the voices in my head have fallen asleep!
JIMMY: Just…a…couple…more…seconds….Voilà! It’s ready. Gentlemen, I give you the future of time exploration: the one, the only, TimeChair!
** Jimmy steps back, revealing an old, stained high-chair completely covered in protruding wires, cables, and tubes**
CARL: Wow! But Jimmy, don’t you already have two time machines? I mean, there’s that Time Pincher thingy that looks like a phone booth and that little remote thingy that we used to rewind time and make smoothies come out of Libby and Cindy’s noses…
JIMMY: The Quantum Replay 9000?
CARL: Ya, that’s it!
SHEEN: Ah, those were some good times. Good times.
CARL: I don’t know about that, Sheen. I mean, we were transported back 200 million years and were almost eaten by dinosaurs and trampled by…
SHEEN: But it was awesome!
CARL: Ya, I guess so. Especially Leppy. You know, I sure do miss that little guy.
JIMMY: That’s all very nice, but we’re getting off task! As I was saying, this new invention, the TimeChair, is the time traveler’s most invaluable piece of equipment. You see, once seated upon this chair, (he climbs up and sits down) the operator is able to input the destination’s date, time, and location, and travel through the time stream. But that alone isn’t what makes this chair so special.
*Jimmy pauses dramatically. Sheen yawns**
JIMMY: This chair has every piece of survival gear that a person would need in an unfamiliar time and place. It is equipped with plenty of food, water, and other supplies, as well as a vast assortment of laboratory equipment and some of my better inventions for studying the era. And, best of all, it has a new feature: It cannot disrupt the time stream! Whatever changes the traveler makes to time will be erased from history after his return.
SHEEN: Well that’s no fun! Do you mean that we can’t remember what we did?
JIMMY: (stepping down from the chair) Quite the contrary. What we experience on the journey actually happens to us, even though the time stream is preserved. So, you’ll be able to remember everything.
SHEEN: Can we try it!? Can we try it?! Oh please! PLEASE!
**He grabs the front of Jimmy’s shirt and shakes him**
JIMMY: Relax Sheen. I’ll make the first test run tomorrow.
CARL: Can we go to back and visit Leppy?
SHEEN: No, let’s go see King Arthur and the Knights of the Triangley Table!
CARL: Or maybe we can see the pyramids when they were being built!
SHEEN: Or, we can go see that woman, who you know, did that thing a long time ago…and who like, is famous and all and…oh never mind! Dang!
JIMMY: I assure you, you can visit any period of history that you want. I’d be happy to send anyone anywhere they want…for a small service fee.
CARL: Wait, you’re charging us money?
JIMMY: Just kidding, Carl. I wouldn’t do that…not to you guys anyway.
** A red, buzzing alarm goes off, and Jimmy’s mom pops up in the main screen**
JUDY NEUTRON: James Isaac Neutron, I know you’re down there. It’s time for dinner, so finish up what you’re doing and come on in. (she smiles, and the image flickers off)
JIMMY: Sorry guys, looks like we just ran out of time.
CARL: OK Jimmy, see you tomorrow!
** Carl and Sheen exit the lab, and Jimmy turns to follow, but then stops**
JIMMY: Leaping Leptons, what am I doing? I have a time machine! (He smiles slyly). After all, what harm could a little “pre-dinner excursion” possibly do?
** He pulls himself into the chair, puts on a pair of goggles, and straps himself in. He adjusts a few wires and then turns his attention to the input screen. **
JIMMY: Hmm, let’s see. Why don’t we try the Late Cretaceous Era?
** His fingers fly across the
keyboard, scrawling the
following coordinates: Late Cretaceous Era, 65 Million years ago,
JIMMY: OK, this is it. I’d better run a checklist. I’ve got the supplies, the lab equipment, and OH!
**He reaches over to the table beside him and snatches the Quantum Replay**
JIMMY: I might need this for emergencies. Well, here I go. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…ignition!
**Jimmy pushes the big red button next to the input screen and suddenly, the room becomes stretched and wavy. It gradually fades away, and Jimmy is surrounded in a whirlpool of colors that all flow and melt together. After a few moments they swim into focus, and Jimmy finds himself standing in a sandy clearing next to a giant forest.**
JIMMY: (hopping down from the chair) Success! Now, I’d better check and make sure all the equipment made it through safely.
**Jimmy crawls underneath the chair and pokes around for a few minutes, then, satisfied, stands up and stretches. Suddenly, there is an ominous growling sound in the distance**
JIMMY: What is that? (looking around) A pack of raptors! I’d better get out of here!
** Jimmy Scrambles into the TimeChair and frantically tries to get it to run. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see a pack of three hungry looking raptors stalking beside him**
RAPTORS: (hissing and growling)
JIMMY: Ahh!!!! It’s not working! It should automatically return me, but it’s not…
**The Raptors charge towards his chair**
JIMMY: C’mon, work, work!
** The TimeChair disappears just as the raptor lunges to sink his teeth into Jimmy, and Jimmy finds himself safe and sound back in his lab.**
JIMMY: That was a close one. I think I’ll choose a less dangerous era the next time I go. Of course, I could build a self-containment force field and travel to…
** Jimmy mutters to himself about
the time stream and such
as he exits the lab. He casually sticks the Quantum Replay into his
backpack as
he leaves, unaware that something very strange has happened to it**
**It’s the next day in school, and everyone is out for recess. Carl and Jimmy are standing next to the swing set, and Sheen is swinging**
CARL: (downtrodden) …so my mom said I couldn’t get a Llama because they’re big and smelly and aggravate dad’s allergies.
JIMMY: Don’t be sad, Carl. With a little bit of time, I’m sure I could genetically engineer you a pocket size Llama that wouldn’t make anybody allergic.
CARL: REALLY? You could do that? Maybe I can finally get a pet Llama after all!
SHEEN: Uh-oh. Lookout guys, here comes the Wicked Witch of the West.
**Cindy and Libby approach, smug looks on their faces.**
SHEEN: Is it time for the daily
Jimmy-torturing session
already? I thought that was at
CINDY: Shove a sock in it, you little weirdo.
SHEEN: Oh yeah? Hey Libs, watch this!
**Sheen waits until the swing is at the very highest, then does a flying leap and tumbles through the air**
LIBBY: Sheen, you’re gonna break your neck!
SHEEN: No way, Libs, I have…ooof!
**He lands in the dirt in front of her feet, sending up a cloud of dust.**
LIBBY: Sheen?
SHEEN: (pulling himself up) Tell UltraLord that I…ugh.
**He collapses again**
CINDY: Well, that’s one down. (sarcastically) Boy, NERDtron, you sure do pick an intelligent group of kids to hang out with.
LIBBY: Probably makes him feel smarter when he’s around the dumb ones.
CINDY: Probably. You know, maybe he should apply the same principle and start hanging out with some shorter kids.
LIBBY: (laughing) Maybe he could try my two year old cousin…they’re about the same height!
JIMMY: Hey, I’m not that short!
CINDY: C’mon Neutron, wake up and smell the coffee! You’re puny! I know you try to make up for your “vertically challenged position” with that hairdo, but honestly… I mean, what are you trying to do, the Cool-Whip-Flip?
LIBBY: (laughing hard) The Cool Whip Flip! Good one Cindy!
JIMMY: (gritting his teeth) You think you’re so funny, don’t you Vortex? Well, I’ll show you funny! Let’s see how fast you can laugh when your molecules are moving in reverse!
** He grabs the Quantum replay out of his pack and aims it at Cindy**
JIMMY: Take that!
**There is a blinding flash of light, and Jimmy and Cindy vanish**
LIBBY: Hey! Cindy? Jimmy?
CARL: Where’d they go?
SHEEN: (sitting up and rubbing his head) Ugh… What’d I miss? Hey, wait a minute! Where are Jimmy and Cindy?
**There is a moment of utter silence**
LIBBY: Sheen… Carl…I think we’ve got ourselves a big problem here.
**Cindy slowly comes to her senses, feeling sick to her stomach. Her surroundings swim into focus, and she finds herself lying on a patch of dusty ground. She coughs and wafts away at the thick dust in the air, but can’t see anything except for a few vague shapes in the haze. Jimmy’s voice comes from the cloud of dirt**
JIMMY: Ugh! What happened?
CINDY: Neutron?
JIMMY: Cindy, is that you?
CINDY: Ya. Where are we?
JIMMY: I don’t know. Something must have gone wrong with my Quantum Replay.
CINDY: (sarcastically) No surprise there.
JIMMY: Here, follow my voice. I can’t see you.
**Cindy stumbles blindly ahead, when suddenly, another voice speaks**
VOICE: Oh perfect! You broke it, and now I’m stuck here! I can’t possibly fix this; the circuit structure is so complex it would require complicated rewiring…
CINDY: Jimmy, who is that?
**The dust settles, revealing a primordial landscape. Cindy’s eyes widen as she scans the horizon and sees prehistoric Pterosaurs flying through the sky. But as her eyes rest directly in front of her, she sees a sight more astounding that all the rest. Standing before her is not one Jimmy, but two! Two exact versions standing within five feet of each other. The first, dressed in a lab coat, is standing beside an enormous high chair with hundreds of protruding cables and wires. The second, with his normal clothes and school backpack, is staring dumbfounded. In his hand is clutched a completely destroyed Quantum Replay**
PAST JIMMY (the one with the lab coat): Cindy? And…myself? How on earth did you get here?
JIMMY: You’re…me! (stuttering) How…how is this possible? I used the Quantum Replay, and it…it… brought me here! But it shouldn’t! I don’t understand…
PAST JIMMY: Nice going! It brought you right to the site of my experiment. Your simultaneous appearance has caused a collision within the time stream, and now you’ve damaged the TimeChair!
JIMMY: The TimeChair! Wait a minute, I remember this place. You must be a past version of me from when I was conducting the TimeChair experiment!
PAST JIMMY: But…
JIMMY: (scratching his head) I…I…think that the Quantum Replay somehow brought us back here!
PAST JIMMY: Hold on! Are you telling me that you’re from the future?
JIMMY: Yes…no…well, sort of. Let me explain. Here’s what happened. I traveled back to The Cretaceous period using the TimeChair last night. I brought along the Quantum Replay on the trip, and when I got back home, I put it in my backpack. The next day at school I used the Quantum Replay on Cindy, and it transported us back to the exact point in time that I was in the night before!
PAST JIMMY: I think I understand. Are you talking about a temporally inverted paradox?
JIMMY: Yes. Bringing the Quantum Replay along during my test run of the time chair must have somehow altered the controls, so it automatically transported us back to the Cretaceous period.
PAST JIMMY: Fascinating! Only there’s one slight problem. It broke both the Quantum Replay and the TimeChair.
JIMMY: Yes, well, that could be a serious problem.
**Cindy’s mouth is hanging wide open, and she shakes her head violently.**
CINDY: (rubbing her eyes) I’m seeing double! Two Nerdtrons…this is a recurring nightmare!
** She slowly approaches and pokes past Jimmy**
CINDY: You’re not a hologram? Not a clone? Can somebody PLEASE TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON???!
JIMMY: I know this seems really confusing, but it’s actually quite simple. The version of me in the lab coat is a past version of myself. We accidentally collided with him in the time stream.
CINDY: Whatever you say.
JIMMY: No, really! It’s actually quite simple. A temporally inverted paradox is basically an accidental collision with a past self…
CINDY: (interrupting) Well, as fascinating as this whole discussion is, I think I’ve heard enough. I wanna go home, Nerdtron. NOW.
JIMMY: Well, you see, there’s a slight problem with that.
CINDY: (flaming with anger) JIMMY…..!
JIMMY: Both the TimeChair and the Quantum Replay were broken during the collision in the time stream.
CINDY: Are you saying that we’re stuck here? You’d better be able to fix this, or so help me I’ll hit you so hard it’ll wake up your dentist!
PAST JIMMY: (stepping between them) Wow, relax Cindy. You…er…other Jimmy, why don’t you go take a look at the TimeChair? Maybe we can repair it.
** Just then, sounds of growling and hissing come from the forest**
JIMMY: Leaping Leptons, I forgot! At exactly this time a pack of raptors comes and attacks. We’ve got to get out of here!
PAST JIMMY: We can’t! We’re not going anywhere without the TimeChair. If the raptors destroy it we’ll be stuck here forever!
CINDY: Raptors! Thanks, Neutron; you’ve just fulfilled my lifelong dream. I’ve always wanted to be eaten alive by a pack of cold-blooded monsters!
JIMMY: Actually, Cindy, new research suggests that raptors and other small meat eaters might actually have been warm blooded and that they…
CINDY: Shut up, Brainzilla, we’ve got bigger problems here!
** Just then, three raptors burst out of the forest and start circling Cindy, Jimmy, and Past Jimmy.**
PAST JIMMY: Maybe we can outsmart them.
CINDY: And maybe I’ll sprout wings and fly! Face it Neutron, we’re dead.
PAST JIMMY: Other Jimmy, see if you can get the shrink ray from under the TimeChair. I don’t think they can do too much damage if they’re 3 inches tall.
** The raptors suddenly turn and charge at them. Cindy screams and jumps out of the way, but another raptor approaches her from the side. She runs towards the forest with all three raptors hot on her tail**
PAST JIMMY: Cindy! Come back, you can’t outrun them!
CINDY: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
**Jimmy lunges at the TimeChair and grabs the shrink ray**
JIMMY: Hold on Cindy, I’ll get them!
**He points the shrink ray at the retreating figures and fires it up. But, instead of hitting the raptors, he hits Cindy instead**
JIMMY: Oh no!
** Cindy looks up at the raptors, who are now as tall as buildings compared to her**
CINDY: Jimmy, you idiot, you shrunk me!
** She rolls sideways, narrowly avoiding being stepped on. One of the raptors reaches to grab her, but she jumps to the side and grabs onto its foot**
PAST JIMMY: Hold on Cindy, I’m coming!
CINDY: I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead…
**Past Jimmy grabs the shrink ray from Jimmy, and with expert aim, hits Cindy with another beam. She grows taller and taller until the Raptors are nothing but little bugs scurrying around beneath her**
CINDY: Hi-yah!
**She slams her foot down, squashing all three raptors**
PAST JIMMY: Ha ha! Yes, it worked!
**Cindy thunders over to Jimmy and Past Jimmy. She smiles cruelly**
CINDY: Maybe I should squish you too…
JIMMY: (snatching the shrink ray from Past Jimmy) Give me that!
** He shrinks Cindy back to normal size, and she stalks over to him**
CINDY: (yelling in his face) Nice work Neutron! You almost got me killed! It’s a good thing that you’re past self has just a shred of common sense, or I’d be a goner!
**Past Jimmy smiles smugly**
JIMMY: Ya, ya. Big deal. He could have just as easily hit the raptors and made them huge. It was a lucky shot.
PAST JIMMY: Now, don’t be a poor sport. Just accept that I’m a better shot than you.
JIMMY: I am you, you moron! We’re both the same!
PAST JIMMY: Listen, we’ve got to focus on getting out of here. We have to fix the TimeChair before anything else happens.
JIMMY: I’ll do it myself. You and princess Thumbelina can go gather firewood. I doubt I’ll be able to fix it until morning, so we’re going to need fire for protection.
**He grumbles and begins to unplug wires on the TimeChair. Cindy and Past Jimmy tiptoe stealthily towards the jungle to gather wood. They arrive at the forest’s edge, and bizarre sounds and unfamiliar smells greet them**
CINDY: I never thought I’d be experiencing the Cretaceous period first-hand. I think I prefer textbooks.
PAST JIMMY: Shh, we’ve got to be quiet or something might hear us. The Cretaceous period is home to some of the biggest and most vicious dinosaurs to ever have evolved.
CINDY: (picking up wood) Since this is the late Cretaceous, isn’t there a remote possibility that the cataclysmic event that wiped out the dinosaurs could happen at any time? I mean, couldn’t a flaming meteor of death come down upon us at any moment?
PAST JIMMY: Yes, but I doubt it. The chances of it happening while we’re here are practically nonexistent. About 3 billion to 1, actually.
CINDY: You seem pretty nonchalant about this whole thing. Why aren’t you freaking out like the other Jimmy?
PAST JIMMY: Because I don’t have anything to worry about. When you return to your own time, I’ll cease to exist. Well, I won’t really, but the other Jimmy and I won’t be two separate people anymore.
CINDY: Oh.
**There is a moment of silence as they gather more wood**
CINDY: Thanks for saving me, by the way.
PAST JIMMY: It was nothing…really. You’re reflexes are just as responsible for your escape as the shrink ray. You’re lucky you didn’t get crushed.
CINDY: Ya, it was kind of unnerving. I have to admit though, being fifty feet tall was pretty cool.
PAST JIMMY: (laughing) Remember when Ms. Fowl’s DNA was altered by my mutant spinach plant, and she grew to be fifty feet tall?
CINDY: I try to block it out.
JIMMY: (shouting from back at the TimeChair) Hurry up, will you? It’s starting to get dark.
PAST JIMMY: We’d better get back.
**Meanwhile, back in Retroville, Carl, Sheen, and Libby are in the park after hours of searching for Jimmy and Cindy**
LIBBY: Listen, we can’t just give up! My girl Cindy wouldn’t give up if it were me!
CARL: But Libby, we’ve searched the
school and the
** Sheen appears and runs towards them, covered in a layer of brownish slop with a banana peel on his shoulder**
SHEEN: I searched the movie theater, the arcade, and all of the town dumpsters, but I didn’t have any luck.
LIBBY: (holding her nose) Sheen, you reek.
SHEEN: I like to think of it as a manly scent.
LIBBY: Are you tellin’ me that you think the smell of garbage is manly?
SHEEN: You betcha!
CARL: You know, I kind of like it too.
LIBBY: You two are way too weird. Listen, I know this is hard for you, but I want you to try to think of anything Jimmy could have been working on that could have caused this. Can ya do that? Were there any new inventions he showed you lately?
SHEEN: Nope, can’t think of a thing.
CARL: Sheen! What about the TimeChair?
LIBBY: Say what?
SHEEN: Oh yeah! Jimmy invented this highchair thingy that lets you travel through time! Hey, he was supposed to let me give it a test run today!
LIBBY: (grabbing his shoulders) Sheen, you gotta show me where it is.
CARL: It’s in the lab, but we’re not allowed to take girls down there without Jimmy’s permission.
LIBBY: Carl, Sheen, you gotta bring me there! Cindy and Jimmy might be in big-time trouble!
SHEEN: Sorry, Libs, but it’s against regulations.
CARL: Ya, we might get into trouble if Jimmy finds out.
LIBBY: HELLO, Jimmy isn’t here!
CARL: But…
LIBBY: Don’t you guys get it? We gotta get to the bottom of this.
SHEEN: (whispering in her ear) I’ll tell you what I can do, Libs. Close your eyes for a second.
LIBBY: OK, but don’t try anything weird.
**Libby feels something tickly under her nose, and she opens her eyes**
LIBBY: OK, what did you do to me?
SHEEN: It’s a false mustache! Now that you’re a man, we can take you down to Jimmy’s lab.
**Libby looks down, and sure enough, she can make out a large, brown mustache attached above her upper lip**
LIBBY: (rolling her eyes) Wow, Sheen, you’re a genius. A false mustache was OBVIOUSLY the answer to this whole problem.
SHEEN: I know, I know. Sometimes I impress even myself.
CARL: (giggling) You look really silly.
SHEEN: C’mon, men! Let’s move out. (singing a marching tune) Left, left, left, right, left!
**They walk towards Jimmy’s house,
with Sheen singing
horribly all the way**
**Past Jimmy has by this time succeeded in building a fire, and he and Cindy are sitting in front of it warming their hands, while Jimmy is working on the TimeChair**
JIMMY: This is just great! I can’t see anything when it’s this dark. If I make so much as one mistake in the wiring it could split our atoms apart and blow the whole continent sky-high.
CINDY: Did ever occur to you to color code your wires so that you would remember what order they go in?
**Jimmy and Past Jimmy stare, mouths open**
PAST JIMMY: That’s a good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?
CINDY: You’ve always got to make everything so complicated. Simplicity is a wonderful thing, Neutron. You should try to make your inventions a little simpler. Maybe then they wouldn’t malfunction quite as much.
PAST JIMMY: I’ll try to remember that.
CINDY: You know, I’m feeling kind of hungry. Do you have anything to eat?
JIMMY: Ya, hold on.
** He crawls underneath the time chair and pulls out a bag containing hundreds of small pills**
CINDY: Are those meals in pill form? You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s so unoriginal.
JIMMY: They’re chewable pills, and you’re lucky I made them, Vortex, or we’d have to go into the forest and look for berries and bugs to eat.
CINDY: Bugs? Yuck, I take it back!
**He passes her the bag**
CINDY: What kinds of foods are in here, Neutron?
JIMMY: Oh, turkey dinner, gourmet seafood, pizza, and a few others. Don’t eat the blue ones, though. I haven’t quite gotten the fruit pie right, and it just might turn you into a gigantic blueberry.
CINDY: (Spitting one out of her mouth) Ugh! Did you say gigantic blueberry? How am I supposed to eat these knowing I run the risk of becoming the main course myself!
JIMMY: Don’t worry. I’ve done extensive testing, and as long as you don’t eat the blue ones, you’ll be fine.
CINDY: I swear Neutron, if I grow one feather, or one scale, or anything else even remotely related to what I’m eating, I’ll…
JIMMY: Just eat it!
CINDY: (cautiously chewing one) Hey, these are pretty good! Really good actually! In any case, they’re certainly better than the lunchmeat surprise that the lunch ladies serve to us at school.
PAST JIMMY: Can I have one?
CINDY: Sure.
**He takes the bag and eats one, then returns it to Jimmy**
PAST JIMMY: You know, considering we’re stranded in a foreign time period without any of the comforts of home, I’m having a pretty good time. I mean, we have a nice fire, we’re warm and dry, and…
**At that very moment thunder roars and torrential rain falls from the sky**
CINDY: You just had to say something, didn’t you?
JIMMY: We need to find shelter! But we can’t leave the TimeChair here.
PAST JIMMY: Maybe if we all work together we can carry it into the woods.
CINDY: Are you insane? If we go into those woods, we’re going to get eaten.
PAST JIMMY: Not necessarily. If this rain keeps up the dinosaurs will bed down and won’t go hunting. I think we’ll be safe if we find a place to hide.
JIMMY: All right, let’s go.
**They gather around the TimeChair**
CINDY: On the count of three, we lift. One…two…three!
**They manage to get it off the ground, and begin to move slowly towards the forest. They find a break in the foliage and go inside**
PAST JIMMY: I think I see a place over there.
CINDY: Where?
PAST JIMMY: There’s a big tree with a hollow base over to the left. The leaves will keep rain off the TimeChair, and we can crawl inside the hollow trunk and stay dry.
**They lower the TimeChair onto the ground, and Past Jimmy gets on his knees and begins scraping debris out of the hollow tree.**
PAST JIMMY: That should do it.
**Cindy looks at the small, dark hole and backs away**
CINDY: No way! Absolutely not! That tiny little hole is barely big enough for one of us, yet alone three of us. I am NOT going in there.
PAST JIMMY: But Cindy, you can’t just sit out here in the pouring rain…
CINDY: I certainly can.
JIMMY: (mocking) What’s the matter Cindy? Afraid of the little creepy bugs inside?
CINDY: No I’m not.
JIMMY: (half-masking it with a cough) Chicken!
CINDY: That’s it! Move it, buster.
**She shoves him out of the way and crawls in. Inside, it’s damp and musty, and cobwebs dangle from the bark. Past Jimmy follows, and Jimmy comes in last. The space is so small that they’re all pressed up against each other**
CINDY: (sarcastically) Well, this is cozy.
PAST JIMMY: (glancing at Jimmy) I guess I finally know how it feels to be a Siamese twin.
JIMMY: Ha ha.
**They are all silent for a moment**
CINDY: (shivering) Brr…I’m freezing.
PAST JIMMY: Don’t worry about the cold, Cindy. Our shared body heat should warm you up.
CINDY: That is SO wrong.
PAST JIMMY: Here, you can take my lab coat, maybe it’ll make you warmer.
**He takes it off and gently slips it over her shoulders**
CINDY: (wide eyed) Thanks. You didn’t have to do that, you know.
PAST JIMMY: I know.
CINDY: Well…Goodnight I guess.
PAST JIMMY: Goodnight.
** Meanwhile, back home, Sheen, Libby, and Carl are down in Jimmy’s lab**
LIBBY: OK, Sheen, let’s see this TimeChair thing you told me about.
SHEEN: (frowning) I...I don’t get it. I thought it was here.
CARL: It’s gone! Oh, Jimmy will be really mad at us. What could have happened to it?
SHEEN: Isn’t it obvious? Whatever mad, power crazed, twisted person took Cindy and Jimmy stole the TimeChair too! Oh, the horror! I think I’m going to be sick…
LIBBY: Pull yourself together, Sheen! And get your head checked while you’re at it. I think the missin’ TimeChair is important: maybe it somehow made them disappear.
CARL: Oh, poor Jimmy! I hope he’s all right, wherever he is.
SHEEN: Or whenever he is. Maybe he and Cindy are lost in time or something.
LIBBY: You know Sheen, I think you may be on to somethin’. That would explain why the TimeChair is gone. After all, stranger things have happened to us.
CARL: What are we going to do?
SHEEN: Jimmy has loads of time machines. Maybe we could bring them back.
LIBBY: How can we do that if we have no idea when or where they are?
SHEEN: We can mess around with it and hope that it’s smarter than us and knows how to bring them back!
LIBBY: OK, Sheen. Let’s do it.
CARL: I don’t know guys, I’ve got this really bad feeling…
SHEEN: Carl, I told you not to eat that bean burrito!
CARL: No, Sheen, not that kind of bad feeling. It’s the kind of bad feeling where I don’t think we should play with Jimmy’s Time Pincher because we might do something bad by accident.
LIBBY: Don’t worry Carl, I got it covered. Hey guys, isn’t that red telephone booth Jimmy’s Time Pincher?
**Sure enough, over in the back corner of the lab sits the Time Pincher, the very same device that Jimmy used to bring Thomas Edison to the present**
SHEEN: It sure is. (rubbing his hands together in anticipation) Now let’s go mess with the controls!
**Sheen runs over to the Time Pincher and steps inside**
LIBBY: Hold on Sheen, don’t push any buttons yet.
SHEEN: I wonder if I can bring UltraLord here with this thing!
LIBBY: I don’t think so.
SHEEN: Why not?
LIBBY: Because, Sheen, UltraLord is just a cartoon.
SHEEN: (eye twitching slightly) What? What did you say? Just a cartoon! Oh, forgive her Ultralord, for she does not know what she is saying!
LIBBY: Oh, brother. Sheen, Ultralord is NOT a real person.
SHEEN: Not a real person? Ha ha! You are so naïve.
LIBBY: (sighing) Whatever you say.
**The three of them look at the control board, which is covered with numbers, letters and mystifying symbols of all kinds**
CARL: Um, which one should we push?
LIBBY: How ‘bout this one? It says “automatic retrieval system”.
CARL: Or how about this one? It says “auto-return”.
LIBBY: Or maybe it’s the one that says “reverse trajectory”.
SHEEN: I know! It’s this one!
**He jams his hand down on a large red button, and electricity starts to crackle around the sides of the Time Pincher**
LIBBY: Get out of here!
**They jump out and there is a flash of light, a puff of smoke, and a dark figure is visible inside the Time Pincher**
LIBBY: Sheen, exactly which button did you push?
SHEEN: The one that says “Do not push under any circumstances or we’re all doomed”.
*The figure slowly begins to step out of the Time Pincher**
CARL: I told you this was a bad idea!
**Back in the Cretaceous Era, morning has come and Cindy crawls out of the hollow tree, stiff and streaked with dirt. Jimmy is already up and is crouching beside the TimeChair**
CINDY: Ugh, I feel like I got hit by a bus.
**Past Jimmy crawls out behind her, hitting his head on the top of the hole as he does**
PAST JIMMY: (rubbing his head) Tell me about it. The sooner we get home, the better.
JIMMY: OK, listen up. I’ve managed to fix the TimeChair, but I have some bad news.
It isn’t fully functional.
CINDY: Could you be more specific?
JIMMY: Well, the input screen was entirely destroyed, and the chair doesn’t have enough power to take us straight back to our time. We’ll have to make the trip in small increments.
PAST JIMMY: Did you try rewiring the circuit matrix for extra power?
JIMMY: Of course I did. What do you think I am, an idiot?
CINDY: Yes.
JIMMY: (glaring) The point is, I won’t be able to control where and when the chair takes us. All I can guarantee is that it will take us forward in time, but other than that, there’s no way to predict when or where we’ll end up.
CINDY: So, basically, we’ll be traveling blindly through the time stream. Doesn’t that seem just a little bit stupid?
JIMMY: There’s nothing else we can do. We can either make the trip back to our time in small jumps, or we can stay here forever. The choice is yours.
PAST JIMMY: Maybe if I took a look at it and worked on it for a few more hours, I could fix the problem.
JIMMY: I’ve tried everything I can think of, so I doubt you’ll be able to fix it.
PAST JIMMY: But if I…
**Suddenly, there is a tremor in the air and a flock of primitive birds leaps into flight and scatters. In the cloudy sky of morning a light appears, and soon it is accompanied by a loud rumbling. It gets brighter and brighter, until Cindy can make out a ball of fire at its center**
JIMMY: What on earth…
CINDY: Oh my God…Meteor! Meteor! It’s the meteor that killed the dinosaurs!
JIMMY: No way…
CINDY: (sarcastically) And you said it wouldn’t come while we were here. So much for 3 billion to 1, Neutron.
PAST JIMMY: We need to get out of here, NOW!
JIMMY: Quick, everybody get on the chair.
CINDY: There’s not enough room. How are we going to fit?!
PAST JIMMY: Just grab on and hold on!
**He jumps into the seat and pushes a few buttons**
PAST JIMMY: It’s not working!
JIMMY: But I don’t understand, I fixed it…
CINDY: Now would be a really good time to go!
PAST JIMMY: It won’t work…
**The burning firelight of the meteor reflects in Cindy’s eyes as she looks up at it. Within moments the rumbling becomes a deafening roar, and the meteor seems to set the entire sky ablaze. The whole earth trembles as it descends upon them**
PAST JIMMY: It’s not working…
JIMMY: Fix it!
PAST JIMMY: (frozen) I…I…
CINDY: Move over!
**Cindy jumps onto Past Jimmy and
kicks the chair as hard
as she can. At the last possible second it comes to life, and the
destruction
of the meteor gradually fades away, and they are surrounded in a
whirlpool of
colors that all flow and melt together. After a few moments they swim
into
focus, and Cindy, Jimmy, and Past Jimmy find themselves by a beautiful,
cascading waterfall in a lush jungle**
CINDY: I’m…I’m not dead! I’m alive!
**She gets off and jumps up and down**
JIMMY: (glaring at Past Jimmy) Well, we made it. No thanks to you.
**Past Jimmy looks at his feet and turns white**
PAST JIMMY: Guys, I’m really, really sorry! I don’t know what went wrong. I’m so sorry…
**There is a moment of silence**
JIMMY: Well, I guess we’re even now. After all, I was the one that got us into this whole mess.
PAST JIMMY: Well, technically, we both did, since you are me and I am you.
**The tension breaks, and Jimmy and Past Jimmy start to laugh, and soon Cindy joins in**
JIMMY: Phew, I’m glad that’s over. Now, while we’re waiting for the TimeChair to cool down enough to make our next trip, why don’t we try to explore a little and find out where we are?
CINDY: Do you think we’ll meet any people?
JIMMY: It’s certainly possible, but I’m not sure. I have no idea how far into the future the TimeChair took us.
CINDY: Do you have any weapons? It might be a smart idea to have them incase we’re attacked.
JIMMY: No. The TimeChair was designed to carry out scientific investigations, not to be a battle arsenal.
PAST JIMMY: Aren’t you forgetting something?
JIMMY: Uh…
PAST JIMMY: The translators!
JIMMY: Oh, of course! I’ll get them.
** He stoops beneath the TimeChair and retrieves three small, round computer chips. He hands one to Cindy and one to Past Jimmy, and sticks the third one behind his ear**
PAST JIMMY: Cindy, these translators will allow us to communicate with whatever people we come in contact with. They’re equipped with every language known to man.
CINDY: Neat! So, once I put this on, I can speak and understand any language?
PAST JIMMY: That’s right.
CINDY: (putting it on) Wow! This is cool, Neutron. I don’t know why you don’t make more inventions like this one.
PAST JIMMY: Actually, I do. I just never show them to you because I know you’ll only make fun of me.
CINDY: (guiltily) I’m sorry about that, Jimmy. You see, it’s not that I actually hate your inventions. The truth is, I don’t. It’s just that…
PAST JIMMY: Shh! I think I hear something! Follow me.
** The three of them creep out of the foliage and stealthily climb above the waterfall. Cindy’s jaw drops open as she scans the land directly below them. There, in a lush emerald valley is a huge city, containing canals, temples, pyramids, and beautiful architecture of all kinds. Everything is green and shiny and lustrous, and the temples glisten with flecks of gold**
CINDY: It’s so beautiful!
PAST JIMMY: This is the ancient
Aztec city of
CINDY: (gaping) I’ve never seen anything like it! All the colors…it’s amazing!
**Just then there is a noise behind them, and they whip around. Three Aztec warriors stand staring at them. The three men, all dark haired and dark eyed, are dressed in bizarre clothing etched with gold embroidery and adorned with neon feathers. One of them lets out a cry, and then they all drop down and begin bowing**
WARRIOR #1: Coatlicue! Oh mighty, illustrious Coatlicue! Long have we awaited your arrival…
CINDY: Jimmy…what is he talking about?
WARRIOR #1: (kissing Cindy’s hand)
Oh, all-powerful
goddess, allow me to escort you and your twin servants back to our
humble city
of
CINDY: Excuse me?
WARRIOR #1: Have I offended you in some way? Do you wish me to be sacrificed? Simply say the word, and I shall sacrifice myself to your glory!
CINDY: Sacrifice! Ew! Neutron, I need an explanation please!
PAST JIMMY: It appears that these people think you are a goddess, Cindy.
CINDY: A goddess?
PAST JIMMY: Yes. The Aztec people believed in a variety of deities. Apparently, they think you’re somebody called “Coatlicue”.
**Cindy thinks a moment, and then grins mischievously. She turns and speaks to the warriors**
CINDY: Sacrifices will not be necessary, gentlemen. Now, take me and my… er… servants back to your city. We wish to meet with your leader.
WARRIOR #1: Yes, your holiness!
**Two of them scoop up Cindy and carry her above their heads. The third grabs Jimmy and Past Jimmy and practically drags them down the mountain**
JIMMY: Hey, go easy on the wrists, pal.
WARRIOR #3: Silence, insolent ones! You are not allowed to speak without the divine one’s permission.
PAST JIMMY: This is ridiculous, she is NOT a goddess! We’re explorers from the distant future who…
WARRIOR #3: How DARE you?! I cannot believe that you would deny her godliness! Once I tell her of your disloyalty, you will surely die.
PAST JIMMY: (whispering to Jimmy)
This doesn’t look good.
**Meanwhile, in Retroville, Sheen, Carl, and Libby are
staring in fear as the dark figure steps out from the Time Pincher**
CARL: (whimpering) Oh…oh…I’m scared!
** A boy of about 12 steps into the light. He has jet-black hair and red eyes, and eyebrows bent a cruel angle. He is wearing a black tunic and black tights, and an ebony cape lined with blood red fabric**
LIBBY: What the…Who are you? And what’s up with that outfit, boy? Someone should write you a ticket for fashion violation.
BOY: Who am I? Who am I? I am the great, the powerful, and, if I might add, the extremely handsome, George Rapscallion!
SHEEN: George Rapscallion? What kind of a name is that? It’s kind of a disappointment, really. I was expecting something just a little more evil sounding.
GEORGE: Shut up!
SHEEN: George! Ha ha! George!
GEORGE: I said shut up, you little weasel, or I’ll kill all of you!
**Libby claps a hand over Sheen’s mouth**
LIBBY: (nervously) So, where are you from?
GEORGE: That does not matter. What does matter is that I’m here, and I intend to take over your town and take everyone hostage until I’m declared supreme ruler. Mu hu ha ha!
SHEEN: Man, you’ve got to work on your evil laugh! It’s way too flat. Here, allow me to demonstrate: MU HU HA HA HA!
GEORGE: That’s pretty good, kid. Hey, do you want to be my evil accomplice?
SHEEN: Do I ever! When do you want to start?
LIBBY: (pushing Sheen aside) No, he does not want to be your “evil accomplice.” And there is no way I’m gonna let you leave this lab.
**George grins smugly, looks around, and then runs to the Time Pincher. He rips off a shred of the metal exterior, fiddles with it for a moment, then sticks it to the bottom of his feet.**
LIBBY: What are you gonna do? Iron plate your shoes?
**George lifts off the ground and flies past them**
CARL: Ahhh…don’t hurt me!
LIBBY: What the…how did you do that?
GEORGE: Oh, maybe I forgot to tell you. I’m a genius. An EVIL genius.
**He breaks through the roof and flies out into the open air**
GEORGE: (shouting down at them) There’s no way you can combat my superior intellect! I’ll bring your entire town to its knees by sundown tomorrow. I guarantee it.
**He zooms away, and Carl, Sheen, and Libby are left staring after him in terror**
CARL: Oh no, he got away! I wish Jimmy were here! He’d know what to do.
LIBBY: I wish I knew where Cindy was. She could kick his pantyhose covered butt any day of the week.
SHEEN: Who needs Jimmy and Cindy? At a time like this, there’s only one thing to do. We must ask ourselves, what would UltraLord do?
LIBBY: I don’t think UltraLord can
help us on this one,
Sheen. It looks like it’s up to us to save Retroville.
** Back in
PAST JIMMY: What could possibly be keeping them? They brought Cindy inside nearly 45 minutes ago.
WARRIOR #3: For the last time, be silent!
JIMMY: No, you be silent! We are the supreme one’s servants, and we have her permission to speak.
PAST JIMMY: Uh…that’s right! If you talk back to us once more I shall report you to Cind…I mean, to Coatlicue!
WARRIOR #3: I am sorry, exalted ones! I did not realize that her highness kept her servants on such close terms!
PAST JIMMY: As a matter of a fact, we are not just her servants, but also her advisors. That means that you have to listen to us. And, as my first commandment, I demand that you take us to her right now.
** The warrior looks terrified for a moment, then runs through the passageway and disappears. He reappears a moment later**
WARRIOR #3: You may enter.
** They pass under the carven arches and into a dark hallway. Jimmy and Past Jimmy follow their guide through a labyrinth-like maze, until at last a glimmer of light can be seen. They enter into a vast, high room that sparkles with the glint of gold from every angle. There, seated on a golden chair atop a glittering pedestal, is Cindy. She is wearing a short dress made of emerald serpent skin and accented with blue, green, and yellow feathers. Her neck and arms glisten with heavy gold and emerald chains, and atop her head is a perched a small, delicate crown**
PAST JIMMY: Ci….Cindy?
CINDY: Neutron! I mean…servants. You may approach me. Warrior, leave us now.
JIMMY: (running up to the throne) Cindy! What are you doing?
CINDY: Neutron, these people are
hilarious! I make a
couple of comments about my “all mighty power” and they throw
themselves at my
feet. I’ve never seen anything like it. And did you see all this gold
they gave
me? I’m like a walking
PAST JIMMY: (gaping) Cindy, you look really…uh…interesting!
**He smiles stupidly, and she blushes**
CINDY: Well…hee…I…
JIMMY: (snapping his fingers in her face) Hey! I hate to break this to you, Vortex, but this is dangerous! If they find out you’re not really a goddess they’ll put us all to death!
CINDY: Oh, stop it! You’re just jealous because they crowned me instead of you.
JIMMY: No, I’m serious! I mean, as their goddess you’ll have to perform rituals, make sacrifices… and you don’t know anything about their culture!
CINDY: Actually, I do. I did a research project on the Ancient Aztecs in 3rd grade.
JIMMY: A research project is a lot different than actually being there and interacting with the people!
CINDY: Oh, fine! If you’re so dead set against it, then we’ll leave. But let’s wait a little while longer. I want to milk this thing for all it’s worth.
JIMMY: But…
**At that moment, a large, imposing man struts into the room. He is covered in royal robes and enough jewelry to start a store. He bows to Cindy, then smiles**
KING: I am pleased to meet you at last, Coatlicue. I am King Iztamixcoatzin, the leader of this great city. Welcome to your eternity among us, great one.
CINDY: (stuttering) Eternity? I mean…of course! I am glad to meet you, King Iz… Izta… coatz…well, KING. Your city is very nice.
KING: Well, of course it is! After all, you and the other gods have blessed us with all we have. Now, I shall take you to the summit of the great pyramid, where you will conduct the ceremony of sacrifice.
CINDY: Ceremony of sacrifice?
KING: Of course. You know the one of which I speak. Now, let’s leave and allow your servants to prepare for their fate.
PAST JIMMY: Wait…what did you just say?
KING: (flabbergasted) How dare you speak out of turn?! I am frankly quite shocked. You know as well as I do that the supreme one’s servants will be the first to sacrifice themselves to her glory. Now, I will send in slaves to prepare you for the ceremony. Coatlicue, if it pleases you, come with me.
** Slaves appear from a panel in the wall and roughly escort Jimmy and Past Jimmy away. They look helplessly at Cindy, who is clearly unsure of what to do**
CINDY: Jimmy!
PAST JIMMY: (struggling) Cindy, wait! Don’t leave!
CINDY: N-Neutron, I…I won’t let this happen. I PROMISE. I’ll figure something out…
KING: Is there a problem here?
CINDY: King, surely there must be some mistake…
KING: (frowning) Coatlicue, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that you were unfamiliar with the Aztec ways. Are you truly the goddess we’ve awaited?
CINDY: Of course!
KING: Then come with me.
** Back with Libby, Sheen, and Carl, things are not going
much better. They have left Jimmy’s lab and have rounded up a group of
other
kids**
LIBBY: So, I know this sounds strange, but ya all have to listen to us. Jimmy’s time machine brought some evil, badly dressed guy named George to our time and now he’s gonna take over Retroville. We gotta stop him!
SHEEN: I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying to yourself, “what kind of a name is George?” It’s OK, people; I feel the same way.
NICK: (glaring) Hey, if this dude is Neutron’s fault, then why should we have to stop him? Let Neutron fix his own problems. I’ve got better things to do.
BRITNEY: Ya, like, what he said!
LIBBY: Nick, ya don’t understand! Jimmy’s gone. And so is Cindy…they just vanished out of the blue today at recess. We’re the only ones who can stop this George guy.
BRITNEY: (gasping) Like, oh my God! Cindy’s gone? Like, that’s totally bad!
LIBBY: Please Nick! We gotta work together to stop this guy.
NICK: OK, I’ll stop him. I mean, hey, how hard can it be?
CARL: Well, um, you see, George is a genius like Jimmy except that he’s evil and wants to hurt us and stuff.
NICK: Dude, if he’s anything at all like Neutron, then I’m sure I can beat him up.
LIBBY: OK, we need to make a plan. But there’s one itty-bitty problem…we don’t know where George is!
CARL: What are we going to do?
NICK: I guess we’ll just have to
wait until he makes his
first move.
** By this time, King Iztamixcoatzin has led Cindy to the top of the highest pyramid, and she is regarding the splendor set before her in awe. Mountains of gold, silver, and precious jewels are piled high around her seat, and down below her the waterfall makes a deep pool of brilliant sapphire. In the surrounding valley thousands of people have gathered to worship her**
KING: Oh, illustrious Coatlicue, this is where you shall reside when you are not in your throne room or sleeping quarters. I hope it is worthy of your greatness.
CINDY: Well, sure I mean…
KING: You understand, of course, that this is only a small fraction of the tribute that you shall receive. I hope you are not offended by its inadequacy.
CINDY: (speechless)
KING: All of this is yours,
Coatlicue: every person, every
building, and every treasure that resides in
**The sparkling riches illuminate Cindy’s eyes as she timidly touches the solid gold objects around her. The people in the valley bow down like a tidal wave, and Cindy hears her name being chanted by the masses. As she takes her seat, she is startled by another voice behind her**
PAST JIMMY: Ow, let go of me! Cindy!
CINDY: Neutron! I…(pauses) What on earth are you wearing?
**She frowns as she scans their clothing. Past Jimmy is wearing a blue kilt, numerous jeweled sapphire armbands, and sandals. Jimmy is dressed much the same, except in red**
JIMMY: They made us wear these skirt-things, but that’s beyond the point. Cindy you’ve got to help us!
CINDY: (whispering harshly) What am I supposed to do? I can’t tell them now! King Cole here is about to make an announcement.
KING: (speaking in a loud voice) Citizens of Tenochtitlan, our long wait has finally been rewarded! Here besides me sits Coatlicue, whose arrival was preordained by the great priests. Bow down before her and show your reverence!
**More bowing and shouting**
KING: And now, the ceremony of sacrifice shall begin, so that we may bind our goddess to our city with blood. The gods demand blood, and Coatlicue is no exception. However, to show her good will, she has brought her own two servants to serve as the first sacrifice. Slaves, bring them forward!
** The slaves drag the struggling boys forward. Cindy stares in terror**
KING: Coatlicue, you may proceed.
** He hands Cindy a ceremonial dagger**
CINDY: (looking at it in horror) I can’t…I can’t kill them!
KING: Yes you can. Now do it…everybody’s watching.
CINDY: But…but…
** Cindy looks in confusion at the piles of splendid treasure that would belong to her if she were to be their goddess. For a moment its fantastic sparkle nearly overpowers her, but one look into the wide blue eyes of the boy in front of her, and all thoughts of treasure are obscured. She takes a deep breath, and with a cry, throws the knife with all her might. All eyes follow as it falls into the water far below**
KING: What have you done?! Goddess, explain yourself.
CINDY: (shouting) I am not your goddess, do you hear me? I am not a goddess! My name is Cindy Vortex, and I’m in the 5th grade at Lindbergh Elementary in a town called Retroville. I don’t even know who “Coatlicue” is! I’m not a goddess. I’m just a regular person.
**There is a moment of complete and utter silence**
KING: You are not Coatlicue?
CINDY: No, I’m not. And these two aren’t my servants, so stop trying to kill them.
KING: If you are not Coatlicue, then you are an impostor! You have committed the highest form of treason imaginable by impersonating the supreme one, and for that, you must die. Warriors, attack!
** A group of vicious looking men encircles Cindy, Jimmy, and Past Jimmy**
PAST JIMMY: This is not good…
CINDY: Thanks for the news flash, Brainzilla, but I think I’m aware of that!
JIMMY: (caustically) Nice work, Cindy. You waited until now to tell the truth, and now we’ve got every person in the city after us.
CINDY: Hey, what was I supposed to do? Kill you?
JIMMY: You might as well have. We’re all dead now anyway.
PAST JIMMY: Not necessarily. There may be a way to escape back to the TimeChair… but we’ll have to jump.
CINDY: Are you totally flipped out? If we jump from up here we could get seriously mangled!
PAST JIMMY: We don’t have any other choice. I’d rather take a chance and jump, rather than stay up here and guarantee my own death. We need to go, NOW.
CINDY: OK, let’s do it.
PAST JIMMY: Ready guys? One…two…take my hand, Cindy, and hurry…three!
** The three of them plummet through the air and land with a terrific splash in the swirling pool below. Past Jimmy coughs and sputters as he desperately tries to get his head above the bubbling water. Jimmy has already reached the shore when Past Jimmy sees Cindy floating lifelessly in the water**
PAST JIMMY: Cindy!
** He swims over to her as quickly as he can, and manages to drag her back to shore**
CINDY: (coughing and sputtering) N-Neutron…
PAST JIMMY: No time! We have to run, Cindy, the villagers are coming. We’ve got to get back to the TimeChair.
** He drags her to her feet and they sprint, crashing through the foliage on their way back to the TimeChair. In back of them, the angry voices of the Aztecs grow louder and louder**
JIMMY: There it is! Everybody get on.
CINDY: They’re closing in on us…Jimmy, get us out of here now!
** The Aztecs form a bristling circle around them, but just as they raise their spears, Jimmy slams his hand down on the button, and the trio vanishes. The Aztecs stare for a moment, utterly speechless, then throw themselves on the ground**
AZTECS: A miracle! A miracle! It
must have truly been
Coatlicue after all.
**Back home, Sheen, Libby, Carl, and all the other kids
are in Jimmy’s backyard. They are gathered around a pile of junk on the
grass
that consists of garden tools and a few of Jimmy’s inventions**
NICK: OK, since this whole thing is Nerdbomb’s fault, I say we should use his inventions to stop it.
LIBBY: I’m for that, but we gotta be careful. I don’t know what half this stuff even does.
SHEEN: That’s where we come in! For example, this gun-type thing you see here, well, OK, I don’t know what it does, but it sure looks cool! And that’s got to count for something.
LIBBY: Well, I know that intertube thing is Jimmy’s hover car, and we’re gonna need that if we’re gonna catch flying George.
CARL: And this energy sword thing that he used in “Macbeth in Space” might work too. Oh, and don’t forget Goddard. He can help.
SHEEN: (picking something up) How about this?
LIBBY: Sheen, that’s a rake.
SHEEN: I knew it!
NICK: Well, what are we waiting for? Everybody grab something so that when this dude shows up we can blow him to tomorrow!
** Everybody grabs a combination of strange gadgets and garden implements. Sheen twirls his rake around and grins idiotically. He accidentally hits Carl in the head**
CARL: Ow! Sheen, that hurt!
SHEEN: Sorry Carl, but there is no escape from the UltraRake!
LIBBY: Sheen, do you have to put “ultra” in front of everything?
SHEEN: You betcha, ultrababe!
LIBBY: (rolling her eyes) Let’s get this over with.
NICK: OK, here’s the plan.
**From inside the house, Hugh Neutron is watching the kids**
HUGH: Sugarbooger! Come see this! Jimbo’s little friends are holding some kind of party in our backyard.
JUDY: (shouting from another room) Where is Jimmy? He was supposed to be home hours ago.
HUGH: I don’t see him out there, but he’s got to be around here somewhere.
JUDY: Hugh, go out there and ask the children if they’ve seen our son.
** Hugh swaggers out into the backyard**
HUGH: Hey, kids! Have you seen Jimbo around? Hey, are you going to have a bonfire with all this stuff? I just love bonfires! Oh, I know! I’ll go get some marshmallows so you can make s’mores! I just love s’mores. You know, one time…
CARL: Mr. Neutron, we have some bad news. Jimmy is…
LIBBY: (interrupting) Down in his lab! Jimmy is down in his lab. You see, he…um…sent us on a scavenger hunt, but he has to stay down in his lab while we do it.
HUGH: A scavenger hunt! I love scavenger hunts! Can I play?
KIDS: NO!
LIBBY: We appreciate the offer, Mr. Neutron, but the rules say that nobody can see Jimmy until we win the scavenger hunt.
HUGH: OK, well, call me if you change your mind. Ha ha, I remember when I was your age. My friends used to play the same game with me, only they’d leave and then never come back…
**He talks to himself as he returns inside**
NICK: Wow, Neutron’s dad is really lame.
**Suddenly, there is a loud crash some distance away**
NICK: That sounds like our guy. Let’s go!
SHEEN: Oh! Can I drive the hover car? PLEASE?
LIBBY: OK, Sheen, but you better know what you’re doing. Do you think we can make everyone fit?
SHEEN: Sure! Carl will just have to suck it in a little.
CARL: Hey!
SHEEN: Hop in, everyone, but don’t crowd me. (sits down, then pats the seat next to him) This seat here is reserved for my girl Libs.
**They get in, and there is so little room that everybody is packed in like sardines, arms and legs sticking out in random directions**
SHEEN: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your appendages inside the vehicle at all times, and refrain from eating, drinking, or performing an interpretive dance. Here we go!
** He pushes a random button, and the hover car sputters to life. He manages to get it off the ground, though it’s sluggish and slow from holding too many people. He flies around erratically, then picks up speed**
LIBBY: OK, Sheen, take us to the
SHEEN: You got it!
**With a cough and a sputter, the TimeChair exits the time
stream and Cindy, Jimmy, and Past Jimmy find themselves in the middle
of a
small circle of houses. A dark presence hangs over everything like a
shadow,
veiling the somber night sky. Everything is deathly silent, and not a
single
light can be seen inside the houses. A heavy smell is on the air, mixed
with
the threat of rain**
CINDY: (voice quaking) W-Where are we?
PAST JIMMY: I’m not sure. I have no way of knowing exactly what time and place the TimeChair has brought us to. But, based on the architecture of these buildings and the soil content, I’d say we’re in Medieval Europe, sometime during the late 1300’s.
CINDY: Wow, impressive deduction, Sherlock, but I think we should leave. Everything here feels dead, and it gives me the creeps.
PAST JIMMY: (picking up a digital scanner) You’re right, Cindy. My scan reveals no human life forms within the immediate area.
JIMMY: Hmm, that’s strange. There is no reason for a town’s entire population to be absent, even during a holiday or special occasion. We should investigate.
CINDY: Listen, Agent Mulder, I hate to interrupt your search for the ultimate truth, but have you forgotten what happened to us last time we went exploring? Hello! We almost got killed!
JIMMY: Listen, Cindy, I’m hungry and exhausted, and I’m sure you are too. At the very least, these houses will provide shelter for the night. We need a good night’s rest and besides, it’ll be hours before the TimeChair’s main core has cooled enough for another jump.
CINDY: Listen, Neutron, if anything at all happens to us, don’t blame me. It was your stupid expedition, so remember that!
JIMMY: Oh, I’ll take full responsibility. Now let’s go.
**The boys gather up the gear from the TimeChair, and they approach one of the houses and push on the door. It opens with a creak, and a large rat scurries across the floor and into the far wall**
CINDY: Ugh! The house has rats.
**Jimmy turns on a portable light and the room springs to life. The main room opens up into a small second room, which is partially closed off by a heavy tapestry. There are cupboards, a wooden chest, and a few pieces of furniture, as well as two small trundle beds**
CINDY: (wincing) This place smells weird.
JIMMY: Get used to it. Medieval people aren’t exactly the cleanest people you’ll ever meet.
PAST JIMMY: OK, there’s clearly nobody here, so let’s get a little more comfortable.
CINDY: (looking down at her clothes) And let’s start by changing into something a little more appropriate. This dress is murder, and there’s really no sense in keeping it. I lost all my jewelry in the fall, anyway.
**She approaches the wooden chest, opens it, and begins rummaging through the stuff inside**
CINDY: Aha! A dress…
**She pauses, gives Jimmy an odd look, and then hands him some clothing**
CINDY: You guys should change too. I don’t think I can stand looking at that loincloth anymore.
PAST JIMMY: (blushing a little) Oh…I-I forgot about that.
CINDY: Be right back…I’m changing in that little room.
**A few minutes later, Cindy emerges, dressed in a black robe with a lace-up front and crisscrossing laces down the sides of the sleeves. Jimmy and Past Jimmy are in a pair of matching blue tops and faded breeches**
CINDY: (raising an eyebrow) I see that your impeccable fashion sense persists, Neutron.
JIMMY: Hey, at least it’s better than that kilt thing I was wearing before. Besides, you don’t look so runway worthy yourself.
CINDY: What are you talking about? This dress is awesome! With a little black eyeliner it’d make a great Halloween costume.
JIMMY: How typical of girl to be thinking of makeup at a time like this.
CINDY: Oh shut up! What is wrong with you, Neutron? Why do you have to say things like that?
JIMMY: (angrily) I don’t know, maybe for the same reason that you always put me down and play cruel pranks on me!
CINDY: Oh, so we’re going back to that, are we? Fine, blame it on me! Blah blah blah…it’s all me…
JIMMY: It IS you! You’re the one with the problem, Vortex. What have I ever done to deserve the kind of treatment you give me?
CINDY: I don’t know, Pewtron, maybe GETTING US LOST IN TIME AND ALMOST GETTING ME KILLED!!!
JIMMY: Hey, that never would have happened if you hadn’t been ragging on me…
CINDY: No, it never would have happened if your stupid invention hadn’t gone haywire! It’s your fault this happened…you and your big head!
PAST JIMMY: (stepping in) Big head! At least mine’s filled with something other than hot air.
CINDY: Oh!
PAST JIMMY: Speaking of which, I don’t know how someone with such an empty head could possibly hold a grudge so long. I’ve made some pretty big mistakes, I’ll admit, but you’re supposed to forgive people for their mistakes! But you wouldn’t know much about forgiveness, would you Cindy?
CINDY: Shut up!!!
PAST JIMMY: You know, I’ve saved the town countless times and invented tons of things to improve life, but do you ever notice any of that? NO! You’re too busy criticizing every move I make to think of anything else!
CINDY: Shut up!!!
PAST JIMMY: (mocking)“Shut up Jimmy, shut up…” You’re like a broken record.
CINDY: (bristling with rage) NEUTRON!
PAST JIMMY: Vortex!!!
CINDY: Arrogant!
PAST JIMMY: Heartless!
**They glare at each other for a moment, then turn away and scowl into space**
PAST JIMMY: I’m not happy you know.
CINDY: Me neither.
PAST JIMMY: Good.
CINDY: I hope something really bad happens to you.
PAST JIMMY: Oh, you mean besides meeting you?
JIMMY: (pushing them apart) OK, that’s enough fighting for tonight. I think it’s time to go to bed now.
CINDY: Fine, but I’m not sleeping in that dirty, flea-ridden bed.
PAST JIMMY: Fine, princess. You can have my Neutronic foldout tent, unless of course you’re too good to use one of my “stupid inventions”.
** They all glare at each other for
a moment longer, and
then Cindy grabs a meal pill and retreats inside Jimmy’s foldout tent.
The
boys, silent and brooding, eat and then go to bed themselves**
**They awake to a loud knocking on the door. Stiff and
sleepy-eyed, Jimmy gets up and opens the door. A cloaked, hooded figure
stands
against the rainbow sky of early morning**
JIMMY: (rubbing his eyes) Who’s there? What do you want?
** The girl enters the house, and for a moment stands motionless in the shadows. Her dark gray cloak covers her entire body like a shroud, and through the folds in the fabric, a strange, beautiful star can be seen embroidered on her black gown. The girl speaks in a shady monotone, her expressionless eyes staring out from the shadow cast by her hood**
GIRL: Who are you? How did you survive?
JIMMY: Excuse me, do I know you?
**She peers this way and that, and watches as Past Jimmy and Cindy come forward**
RAVEN: I don’t think so. My name is Raven, but that is not important. Now tell me, how did you survive?
PAST JIMMY: How did I survive what?
RAVEN: The Black Death, of course. This entire village was wiped out. How did you survive?
JIMMY: (turning white) Did you say the Black Death?
RAVEN: Yes…
CINDY: I don’t like the sound of that, Neutron. What is she talking about?
JIMMY: I believe she is referring to
the Bubonic Plague, a
terrible disease that wiped out nearly half of
RAVEN: I have never met anyone who did not know about the Black Death. The latest wave of deaths started a few months ago, and my entire family and everyone else in this village were killed.
PAST JIMMY: I’m sorry.
RAVEN: (darkly) It is of no consequence.
JIMMY: Wait a minute, I don’t understand. Bubonic Plague is 100% fatal without proper treatment. If your family died, how did you manage to stay alive?
RAVEN: (sighing) I was not in the village when the Black Death broke out. It’s a long story, so let me explain. You see, I had heard stories about the horrors of the Black Death, so I dedicated myself to learning everything I could about the disease. After much study, I eventually came up with a theory about its true cause.
JIMMY: What was your theory?
RAVEN: My theory was that the disease was actually carried by rats and transmitted to humans by fleas. Of course, when I told everyone about this, they thought I was crazy. They branded me a heretic and banished me from the village, so I wasn’t there when everyone became sick. I’ve been living in the woods ever since.
JIMMY: I’m sorry about your misfortunes, Raven, but there’s something you have to know. Your theory is completely correct.
RAVEN: Really? If only they had listened to me! I could have saved them! I should have tried harder…
CINDY: (interrupting) Hey, Raven, I hate to interrupt your life story, but if this disease is present here, then we need to leave STRAIGHT AWAY. Neutron, let’s pack our bags and go.
JIMMY: You’re right, Cindy, for once. Past Jimmy, you and Cindy go outside and start up the TimeChair. I’ll be out shortly.
**Cindy and Past Jimmy leave the house and head towards the TimeChair**
CINDY: It figures Neutron would get us stranded here. You know, for once I’d like to find myself stranded in a beautiful Garden of Eden rather than near a ticking timebomb of death!
PAST JIMMY: (no reply)
CINDY: Hey, DIRTtron, I’m insulting you here! Aren’t you even going to pay attention? Jimmy?
**As they arrive at the TimeChair, she turns around. Past Jimmy stumbles and catches himself on her arm**
CINDY: Watch it!
PAST JIMMY: Sorry Cindy…I just feel a little dizzy, that’s all.
CINDY: What?
PAST JIMMY: I’m fine! Don’t worry.
CINDY: Jimmy, you look kind of pale.
PAST JIMMY: No I don’t!
**He leans against the TimeChair**
CINDY: (putting a hand on his forehead) Jimmy, I think you have a fever.
PAST JIMMY: You can’t determine my internal temperature simply by placing your hand on my head!
CINDY: Oh, Jeez, Neutron! You can’t get the plague! You can’t!
**Jimmy reaches under the TimeChair and grabs a strange looking device. He scans himself with it, and a terrified look comes into his eyes**
PAST JIMMY: (turning white) Well, I think I just did, Cindy. This scan confirms that I have contracted Bubonic Plague.
**Cindy stares in shock for a moment**
CINDY: You…you’re going to die.
PAST JIMMY: Yes.
CINDY: You can’t! You can’t die! Isn’t there anything we can do?
PAST JIMMY: If I take a strong antibiotic within the early stages of the disease, then I might survive.
CINDY: (jumping onto the TimeChair) Quick! Let’s try to get back to our time as fast as we can! Then we can get you to a hospital.
PAST JIMMY: I’m afraid that won’t work Cindy. If I travel through time, it will accelerate my illness and I’ll die within a few seconds.
CINDY: Didn’t you bring any medicine with you?
PAST JIMMY: Uhh…
CINDY: Oh, fine! We’ll just have to make an antibiotic here.
**She grabs him by the arm and drags him back to the house. Jimmy meets them at the front door**
JIMMY: Hey guys, ready to leave?
CINDY: We’re not going anywhere, Neutron.
JIMMY: What are you talking about?
**Cindy rapidly explains the situation**
JIMMY: Leaping Leptons, this is a disaster! There must have been fleas in the beds we slept in. I’ll probably contract the Black Death too!
PAST JIMMY: We’ve got to make an antibiotic, and fast. I’ll go set up the beakers and the lab table while you…
JIMMY: No way! You’re staying in bed. We have to try to keep you well as long as possible. Raven will help me with the antibiotics.
CINDY: What about me?
JIMMY: Take care of Past Jimmy and watch for changes in his symptoms. I need to know exactly what stage of the plague he’s in.
**Raven watches Cindy for a moment, and then follows Jimmy into the small room, where they begin setting up. Past Jimmy climbs onto the bed**
PAST JIMMY: (waggling his eyebrows) Hey Cindy, wanna play doctor?
CINDY: Ugh! Neutron, this is serious! You could die!
PAST JIMMY: (eyes clouding) I know.
CINDY: I guess you should rest. Do you need anything?
PAST JIMMY: No.
**He lies down and closes his eyes, and Cindy grabs a wicker rocking chair from the corner and places it beside his bed. She sits down and hugs her legs up against her chest**
CINDY: (to herself) I’m so sorry
Jimmy…
**Back in Retroville, Sheen has somehow managed to keep
the hover car from crashing long enough to get to the Candy Bar. After
a bumpy
landing, the kids get out of the hover car and ready their weapons**
NICK: OK, this is it. That George guy’s going down.
CARL: W-where is he?
LIBBY: I dunno, but we’ll be ready when he shows up.
CARL: I don’t see him anywhere. Maybe we should go back.
LIBBY: We can’t leave yet, Carl. Just keep waitin’…
**The kids jump at a sudden noise from behind the Candy Bar. With a cruel laugh, George rises up from behind and lands on the roof **
GEORGE: Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. How convenient; you’ve saved me the trouble of finding you. Now, without further adieu, I have a presentation to make. Welcome to the future of Retroville, everyone.
** He pushes a button on a handheld
control device, and
the
GEORGE: So, how do you like my new war ship? Yes, I know. It’s amazing what a genius like me can accomplish with a little scrap metal and some basic chemicals.
SHEEN: You evil fiend! What have you
done to the
** He dramatically puts his head on Libby’s shoulder**
GEORGE: Shut up, you little weasel. I gave you the chance to be my evil accomplice, but you turned me down. Now you will be my slave along with everyone else in this town. Mu hu ha ha!
NICK: You’re going down!
GEORGE: (arrogantly) Oh, is that so? And just how do you think you’re going to beat me? I have a fully armored war ship, and all you have is some junky garden tools.
NICK: Oh yeah? Eat laser, loser!
** Nick pulls a blaster from his pocket and fires it at George, but he easily dodges it**
GEORGE: (yawning) Is that all you’ve got? I really expected better from you people. Oh well. How about I show you what my ship can do?
**George pushes a button on his handheld controller, and the ray guns begin firing into the mob of kids**
KIDS: AHHHHHH!
**They scatter as the flying
LIBBY: Where is everyone goin’? We have to fight!
CARL: Uh, Libby, he has a really scary ship that flies and shoots missiles and stuff, and all I have is a watering can.
LIBBY: C’mon Carl! You can’t give up now.
SHEEN: Actually, we can.
LIBBY: C’mon guys, this guy’s tryin’ to take over Retroville! We can’t let him do this. Now let’s go!
**Nobody moves**
LIBBY: Guys! Nick, do something!
NICK: What’s the word I’m looking for?...uh, no! It’s suicide. I mean, what kind of idiot do you think I am?
SHEEN: There are different kinds?
LIBBY: Listen, we have to stop this guy. I know my girl Cindy wouldn’t want this…and neither would Jimmy.
**She pauses, obviously searching for something else to say. Suddenly she smiles**
LIBBY: Sheen, think…What would UltraLord do?
SHEEN: (eye twitching) You’re right, Libs! I must not shame the mighty name of UltraLord!
**He looks up at George**
SHEEN: George, prepare to meet the UltraRake!
**Sheen hurls the rake with all his might, and by some miraculous twist of fate, it hits George square in the chest, knocking him to the ground**
GEORGE: You’re going to pay for that, you little weasel!
LIBBY: Get him!
**The kids charge him, garden tools and inventions blazing**
LIBBY: Nick, go for his feet! We gotta get his shoes so he won’t be able to fly!
**Nick, who has Jimmy’s light saber from MacBeth in Space, cuts George’s shoes with a perfectly aimed strike**
NICK: (throwing the shoes to the side) Let’s see you get away now, loser!
GEORGE: (eyes flaming with anger) You’re going to be sorry for that.
**He knocks Nick to the ground and stands. Sheen runs toward them and pulls a strange looking invention from his pocket**
SHEEN: Huh, I wonder what this does? Oh well. Take that, enemy of UltraLord!
**He fires it at George, but at that exact moment, Nick jumps to his feet and gets hit instead. Nick instantaneously becomes a living block of cheese**
CARL: Oh no, Sheen, that was Jimmy’s cheese ray!
SHEEN: I thought he never got that to work…
LIBBY: Nice going Sheen! Nick’s not gonna be able to help us very much now that he’s a mozzarella stick!
CARL: (breaking off a piece of Nick’s hair and eating it) Yum! He’s cheesy!
NICK: Dude, don’t touch the hair!
GEORGE: You fools, you’ve turned your leader into cheese! Now how do you expect to defeat me?
**George fires the guns again, and the kids scatter. Carl picks up Nick and hides behind a clump of bushes**
NICK: Dude, get that cheese ray and turn me back to normal!
CARL: I don’t know how! I might make it worse or melt you or…
** George climbs aboard the
GEORGE: Face it! You can’t possibly beat me. Surrender now and I’ll spare your lives! If you don’t, I’ll fire a laser so powerful it’ll blow your city to steaming bits!
LIBBY: Wait…Stop!
SHEEN: (throwing himself to the ground) We surrender, do you hear? We surrender…lose…give up…submit…capitulate…accept defeat…bow to your supremacy…
LIBBY: (interrupting) Sheen, I think he gets it.
GEORGE: Excellent! I knew you’d come around.
**The
GEORGE: Don’t worry everyone, I
think you’ll find life
with me as your master to be quite enjoyable. Now, my subjects, come
forth and
join me. We shall conquer the rest of the town by sunset.
**Back in the Middle Ages, it is now
CINDY: (barging into Jimmy’s work station) Neutron, get your butt in gear! How come you haven’t finished that antibiotic yet? You’re a genius. What could possibly be the hold up?!
JIMMY: (gritting his teeth) Cindy, if you want to help, then leave me alone. It’s extremely difficult to concentrate when you barge in here every ten minutes.
CINDY: Uh, Hello! You told me to report his symptoms to you.
JIMMY: Ya, but I didn’t ask for a play-by-play! I’m quite aware of the situation. You know, I’m not just fighting for his life, I’m also fighting for mine. If my past self dies, so do I. So leave me alone!
CINDY: (turning white) Oh, I didn’t realize…I’m going now.
**She shuffles out and stands in the doorway separating the two rooms. Raven appears beside her**
RAVEN: Don’t be hard on him. He’s been working ceaselessly all day.
CINDY: I know, I shouldn’t get on his case. But if he doesn’t hurry up, they’ll both die!
RAVEN: (gravely) Cindy, I don’t want to kill your hope, but you need to prepare for the fact that Jimmy may be unable to make the antibiotic in time. You need to prepare incase he fails.
CINDY: He won’t fail. You don’t know him like I do. He never fails.
**There is a long pause**
RAVEN: (sighing) Cindy, please listen to what I’m about to say. When my friends and family died, I was devastated, as you would imagine. Although I missed them dearly, it wasn’t their deaths that I regretted the most. It wasn’t the things I had said or the deeds that I had done, but the things left unsaid and the deeds left undone. I was tormented by the thought that they would never know how much I cared about them. I regretted all the things I had never told them, all the wasted opportunities. Think carefully before you make the same mistake I did.
**She leaves the room and Cindy stares after her, deeply puzzled and a little angry**
CINDY: Oh! Why did she have to give me that philosophical jib jab?
PAST JIMMY: Cindy?
CINDY: Neutron! You’re awake. How are you feeling?
PAST JIMMY: Not so good. Please come here.
**She takes her seat beside the bed**
PAST JIMMY: Cindy, do I have any black patches on my skin?
CINDY: No, why?
PAST JIMMY: Those patches signify the final stages …that’s why it’s called the Black Death. As soon as they appear, it’ll be too late to administer the antibiotic, and I’ll die.
CINDY: Don’t worry…you don’t have any patches. Besides, the antibiotic’s almost finished, and then you’ll get better.
PAST JIMMY: (shivering) I’m sorry about this whole thing Cindy. It was my fault.
CINDY: No, it was my fault. If I hadn’t been making fun of you that day at recess, you never would have used your quantum replay and none of this would have ever happened. Here, take another blanket.
PAST JIMMY: Thanks.
CINDY: I’ll be right back. I’m going to go check on the medicine…
PAST JIMMY: No, don’t. It doesn’t matter anyway. Cindy, I’m not going to make it.
CINDY: Yes you are! Now stop saying that or I’ll kick your butt when you’re better again.
PAST JIMMY: But the probability ratios dictate that the chances of my survival are comparatively miniscule…
CINDY: Neutron, as long as you’re talking like that, I know you’re all right. Now just try to relax and get some sleep.
**He lies back down and closes his eyes. Cindy scratches her arm nervously as Raven’s words play in her mind. What had she meant by “things left unsaid and deeds left undone?” Cindy wavers uncertainly between her feelings and her own overly developed sense of pride. She is about to walk away when she sees Raven, quietly mingling with the shadows on the far wall**
RAVEN: No regrets…
**She slips away into the other room with a swish of her heavy gray cloak**
CINDY: Wow, is she creepy.
PAST JIMMY: Huh? What?
CINDY: Did I wake you? I’m sorry!
PAST JIMMY: No, I haven’t been able to sleep all day. I tried counting prime numbers in my head, but that never works. Cindy, are you OK? You look kind of strange.
**There is a long pause**
CINDY: Neutron, have you ever kept a secret from someone because you were afraid of what might happen if other people knew?
PAST JIMMY: Uh…I guess.
CINDY: Hypothetically speaking...STRICTLY hypothetically, mind you…if I had a secret, would you be willing to listen?
PAST JIMMY: (scratching his head) Uh…I guess.
CINDY: I’m not saying I have one or anything, it’s just that…
PAST JIMMY: What’s your point?
CINDY: Well, I suppose I just wanted to say I’m sorry about all the nasty things I’ve said and done to you. And I’m sorry about our fight last night…I didn’t mean all of that stuff I told you. I’ve picked on you and made demeaning side remarks for way too long, and I hope you can forgive me. You don’t deserve it and I’m truly, sincerely sorry.
PAST JIMMY: You are?
CINDY: (biting her lip) Yes. But it’s not just that. There’s more. It’s not all the mean tricks and nasty remarks; it’s all the things I haven’t said and haven’t done.
PAST JIMMY: Like…
CINDY: Well, I haven’t always told the complete truth about certain things…
PAST JIMMY: Like…
CINDY: Oh, Neutron! Can’t you tell I’m trying to be subtle? I’m doing my best to say something to you without actually saying it…
PAST JIMMY: You’re not making any sense, and I’m a genius.
CINDY: Fine! You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you? You can’t take a hint when it kicks you in the head, can you?
PAST JIMMY: …
CINDY: What I’m trying to say is, I
guess I’ve never told
you how much I admire you. You see, secretly, I sort of…kind of…like
you. A
**Past Jimmy turns pale**
CINDY: I pick on you all the time because I’m afraid of what everyone would think if they knew. I guess I got so caught up in the act that it became like second nature to me.
PAST JIMMY: W-wait, let me get this straight. You LIKE me, and you’ve been tormenting me day and night so I wouldn’t guess the truth?
CINDY: Ya, that’s pretty much it.
PAST JIMMY: That makes no sense at all! Why didn’t you tell me? You made me hate you! Think about all the fights and conflicts that could have been avoided…
CINDY: I know, and I’m sorry!
PAST JIMMY: You’re crazy, you know that?
CINDY: Ya, I know. I tell myself that every time I think about you.
**There is a long, heavy pause, then Raven’s voice breaks the silence**
RAVEN: Cindy, come quick!
CINDY: (rushing into the side room) What is it? Is the antibiotic finished?
RAVEN: No…it’s Jimmy. He just suddenly collapsed.
CINDY: What???
RAVEN: I don’t know what happened. He sent me to go get a beaker from his Timechair, but when I came back, he was lying here.
CINDY: Oh no, he must have gotten the plague too! We’ve got to get him into the other room!
RAVEN: (shaking) Oh God. It’s happening again…Everyone’s going to die! I can’t be here when it happens. I can’t deal with it again.
**She slowly begins to back away, and then turns and bolts for the door**
CINDY: Raven, come back! I need your help!
**Raven ignores Cindy’s cries and disappears**
CINDY: (in despair) Oh, what else can go wrong?
**She slumps down on the floor and her eyes cloud with tears**
CINDY: He never finished the antibiotic! Now they’re going to die and I’ll be stuck here forever!
JIMMY: (weakly) W-what happened?
CINDY: Neutron, you’re awake!
JIMMY: Cindy, I think I caught the plague.
CINDY: No kidding. Do you think you can stand up?
JIMMY: Ya. I think so.
** She helps him to stand up, and he attempts to return to his work**
CINDY: Are you crazy? You’re so sick you can barely stand. You’re in no shape to work anymore. You need to lie down, so follow me.
**He leans on her for support and she leads him into the other room. He lies down and looks at her for a moment**
JIMMY: Cindy, were you crying?
CINDY: No! I’m fine.
PAST JIMMY: (turning over) So, you’ve got it too.
JIMMY: Ya.
PAST JIMMY: What about the antibiotic?
JIMMY: (eyes clouding) I never finished it.
**They both look away, then suddenly Cindy’s face lights up**
CINDY: Neutron, let me finish it.
JIMMY: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s much too complicated! The formula requires detailed chemical equations and…
CINDY: Jimmy, I can do this! I have to do this. Give me a chance.
**There is a long pause**
PAST JIMMY: Let her do it.
JIMMY: What?
PAST JIMMY: She’s our only hope. If she can’t make it work, then nobody else can.
JIMMY: (sighing) OK. Cindy, listen to me very carefully. Go to my workstation and open up my black lab book to page 217. Scroll down to the second paragraph, where you’ll see a series of decimal numbers and an underlined passage reading “Antibiotic= Aa2379-b: streptomycin. You’ll find the necessary chemical equations there, but you’ll have to balance them mathematically. The ingredients are all on the table, but it’ll be up to you to match each flask of liquid with its correct name and dosage. They’ll mostly be synthetic compounds…I didn’t have time to grow any mold. Anyway, once you mix them all together in the appropriate amounts, the serum will have to incubate for about 5 minutes. When it’s done, fill the two droppers halfway and administer the medication to us. Do you understand?
CINDY: I think I’ve got it. One question though: how do I know if I got it right?
JIMMY: If the basic formula is correct, then the liquid will turn a deep red. Other than that, there’s really no way to know until you give it to us.
PAST JIMMY: …And you’d better get to work right away. You’ve got one hour, maximum.
CINDY: (running a checklist) Black book, page 217, balance equations, mix ingredients, let sit 5 minutes, half full dropper, shove down Jimmy’s throat. I’ve got it.
**She turns and disappears into the adjoining room**
JIMMY: I hope she’s as good at
chemistry as she says she
is.
**Cindy runs into the adjacent room and hurriedly begins leafing through the pages of Jimmy’s lab book**
CINDY: C’mon, c’mon, page 217, where are you? Yes, got it!
**Grabbing a pen, she rips out a scrap of paper and jots down the chemical equations**
CINDY: (talking to herself) Girl, you can do this. You HAVE to get this right. Concentrate. OK. Think back to chemistry class…all those times you wanted to show Neutron that you were better than him. Now’s your chance! And if you don’t do it, you’ll never get to see him again…
**Biting her lip, she begins to work. Little drops of sweat form on her brow as she struggles to do the math, until at last she throws down the pen**
CINDY: I hope I did this right. Now, to figure out which chemicals to use.
**Scattered about Jimmy’s workstation are various vials and beakers each containing a different substance. Each is labeled with a single word: Radon, Nitrogen, Phenylalanine, Methionine, and so forth. She begins to gather them**
CINDY: Let’s see. Phe stands for Phenylalanine, so I’ll take that. Tyr stands for Tyrosine, so I’ll take that. Um…K. What does K stand for? Oh no! Think Cindy think…K’s a weird one; it makes no sense. K…K…wait, Potassium!
**She grabs the final vial and, following the chemical formulas, mixes all the ingredients together. After adding the final drop, she drops down and stares at it anxiously**
CINDY: Why won’t you turn red?! Ugh, I must have done something wrong!
**She slams her fist down on the table, and the resulting jostle knocks the beaker containing the antibiotic onto the floor. It shatters and the liquid spatters in all directions. Cindy stares in horror as it turns a blood red before her eyes**
CINDY: Ahhh! It was right!
**She drops to her knees and attempts to keep the ruby pool from spreading across the floor. She cuts her hand on a piece of glass by mistake, and grimacing in pain, wraps her injured hand in the folds of her dress**
CINDY: Ow! Stupid beaker!
**She glances down at her dress, and sees a little stain spreading across the black fabric**
CINDY: Wait a minute…my dress!
**Cindy’s eyes light up, and she tears off a piece of fabric at the hem of her skirt. She soaks it in the antibiotic until it’s saturated with the liquid**
CINDY: (looking down at the wet cloth and raising an eyebrow) OK, so it’s unorthodox, unsanitary, and completely unscientific…but it works!
**Gently cradling the cloth in her hands, she jumps to her feet and runs into the other room**
JIMMY: Are you done?
CINDY: um…
JIMMY: You’d better hurry…the other me is in pretty rough shape.
**She climbs onto Past Jimmy’s bed and leans over him. His eyes are closed and his skin is cold and pale. She touches him gently**
CINDY: Neutron, snap out of it! You’ve got to open your mouth!
PAST JIMMY: (snapping awake) W-what?
CINDY: I finished your medicine. Now say “ahh”!
**He struggles to open his mouth, and she holds the cloth directly over it and wrings the liquid out. He coughs a little but manages to swallow. She watches him for a moment, then hops down and looks over at Jimmy**
JIMMY: What on earth was that? What are you doing?
CINDY: (glaring) Oh, I don’t know, maybe SAVING YOUR LIVES! So stop nagging and open up!
**She throws the cloth at Jimmy and he squeezes the rest into his mouth**
CINDY: Well? Did it work? Do you feel any different?
JIMMY: I can’t tell yet. I’ll have to wait for the enzymes to catalyze the reaction…Cindy? Are you OK?
CINDY: (swooning) Yeah…I…feel…fine…
JIMMY: Cindy!
**Cindy feels herself waver and fall
over, and then her
whole world goes black**
**Cindy awakens to rays of cascading sunlight**
CINDY: (sitting upright with a start) What happened? Where am I?
**Cindy scans the room, brightened with sunlight and the sounds of birdsong outside. Jimmy appears from the other room and walks to the foot of her bed**
JIMMY: I’m glad you’re awake. You blacked out pretty bad after giving us the antibiotic…we were worried for a while. Turns out you had Bubonic Plague all along…I’m amazed you kept going as long as you did.
CINDY: What? I had it too?!
JIMMY: Yes. I think you’ll find yourself feeling much better now…I bandaged your cut and gave you some medicine.
CINDY: R-really? Thanks…
JIMMY: (throwing her a coy smile) Oh…by the way, I like your style of preparing medicine. It seems that you invented a new technique I wasn’t aware of. The big red puddle was a bit of a surprise.
CINDY: Ya…I had a little accident. I’m glad that the dirty floor didn’t wreck the medicine.
JIMMY: Cindy, that was unorthodox, unsanitary, and completely unscientific. Good job.
**There is a moment of silence. Cindy looks at her feet, and Jimmy scratches his arm nervously**
CINDY: Neutron? Where’s Past Jimmy?
JIMMY: Outside. He’s been working on the TimeChair for hours.
CINDY: Is he making any progress?
JIMMY: I don’t really know…I’ve been working on reorganizing all my lab supplies.
CINDY: I’m gonna go see how’s he’s doing…
**Cindy throws off her covers and stands on shaky feet. She regains her balance and walks out into the sunny world beyond the door. She can see Past Jimmy working on the TimeChair, and she runs over to him. He starts a little when he sees her, then regains composure and puts on a casual façade**
PAST JIMMY: (monotone) So, you’re OK.
CINDY: Yeah, I guess so. You?
PAST JIMMY: I’m better.
**There is an awkward moment of silence**
PAST JIMMY: I fixed the TimeChair.
CINDY: You did?!
PAST JIMMY: Ya. It turns out that the matrix circuit was inverted. All I had to do was reverse the polarity of the electron plates…I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. It’s so OBVIOUS.
CINDY: (laughing lightly) Obvious, huh?
PAST JIMMY: Ya. Come here, I’ll show you.
CINDY: (crouching beside him) All right, Einstein, work your magic.
PAST JIMMY: OK, you see that titanium plate there?
CINDY: Uhuh…
PAST JIMMY: Well, if you look above it, there’s a device that’s bombarding it with negative subatomic particles…electrons that is. But it should be bombarding it with positively charged subatomic particles, so…
CINDY: So you changed the output to protons and now it works.
PAST JIMMY: Exactly.
CINDY: And you say I’m not as smart as you.
**She grins at him and their eyes meet**
PAST JIMMY: (fidgeting) Ya. Um, Cindy, I’ve been thinking about something.
CINDY: What?
PAST JIMMY: I’ve been thinking about…what you said. About all the things you never told me.
CINDY: O-oh…
PAST JIMMY: I guess it just kind of hit me, you know, when I was inches from death and all, that maybe I needed to make a confession too. Maybe there are some things that I haven’t told you…
CINDY: Really?
PAST JIMMY: Ya. It turns out that I haven’t always been completely honest with you, either. I let my pride and my overpowering ambitions get the better of me. I’m sorry I treated you as an inferior; the truth is, some of the things I’ve done stem from an underlying desire to, well, impress YOU.
CINDY: Impress ME? Neutron, pig-headedness doesn’t impress me.
PAST JIMMY: (looking crushed)
CINDY: (touching his shoulder). Pig-headedness doesn’t impress me, but that confession sure did.
**His eyes light up**
PAST JIMMY: It did?
CINDY: Yes.
PAST JIMMY: I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. I should have told you before, when you told me. But I was so blown away by your confession (plus I had an extremely high fever) that I wasn’t thinking clearly.
CINDY: Ya, I’m sorry I laid that on you when you were so sick. It was just so scary, you know, thinking that you might die before I could tell you.
PAST JIMMY: If it weren’t for you, I would have.
CINDY: (struggling for words) Oh, you don’t mean that…
PAST JIMMY: Yes I do. Cindy…? Could I…could I kiss you?
**Cindy blinks in surprise, and they both turn the brightest shade of red imaginable**
CINDY: If you want…
**He slides closer to her, and bites his lip**
PAST JIMMY: Ready?
CINDY: Uhuh…
**She closes her eyes, and he slowly leans in. They kiss**
CINDY: (after a moment) Wow.
PAST JIMMY: Ya.
**There is a moment of tense silence**
PAST JIMMY: Wanna go for a walk?
**She nods, and he helps her to her feet. He takes her hand, and they walk together past the rows of abandoned houses and into the groves of trees that lay beyond. They merge into the trees and weave through the underbrush, until they come into a sunlit clearing near a small stream. The spring trees are all in bloom, their branches rustling with the soft pink tones of budding flowers. For a moment there is no sound other than the bubbling of the water and the soothing melody of the wind. Cindy sits on the grassy bank of the brook, and Past Jimmy joins her, resting his back against a mossy rock**
PAST JIMMY: It sure feels good to be alive.
**For awhile they are content to sit in silence, basking in the sunlight. Cindy stares dreamily into space, but her reflection is interrupted**
PAST JIMMY: (skipping a stone across the water) Cindy?
CINDY: Yes?
PAST JIMMY: You do realize that we can’t stay here. You have to return to your own time.
CINDY: (sighing) Ya, I know. It’s kind of funny; I’ve actually come to like this place. I almost wish we could stay here awhile longer. I’m not ready to go back.
PAST JIMMY: Cindy, I think it would be better if we just got it over with.
CINDY: What do you mean?
PAST JIMMY: I just mean that we should do it and get it over with.
CINDY: Are you saying that you actually miss our time? You can’t possibly tell me that you want to go back to school and boredom and fighting again…
PAST JIMMY: In all honesty, I wish I could. But I can’t. Cindy, I can’t come back with you at all.
CINDY: What?
PAST JIMMY: Remember when we were back in the Cretaceous and I told you that I would cease to exist when we got back?
CINDY: (gasping) I had completely forgot! We can’t let that happen!
PAST JIMMY: It has to happen. We can’t put it off any longer. I’ve fixed the TimeChair, and there’s nothing stopping you now.
CINDY: But…but…
PAST JIMMY: There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry.
CINDY: You mean I’ll never see you again?
PAST JIMMY: I’m afraid so.
CINDY: Oh! I wish none of this had ever happened! How can I go on like before now that we…that this has happened?
PAST JIMMY: You’ll have to figure it out. And remember, I won’t REALLY be gone. Jimmy and I, we’re one and the same.
CINDY: No…
**Jimmy’s voice interrupts her from a distance**
JIMMY: Where are you guys? We have to go, now! Quit whatever it is that you’re doing and get back to the TimeChair on the double!
PAST JIMMY: It’s time to go.
**For Cindy, time seems to slow as she rises to her feet and follows Past Jimmy on the never-ending walk back to the TimeChair. All the sensations and emotions of the journey converge on her at once, and the path before her is blurred through the curtain of her tears. She turns for one last look at the clearing, and in the darkest corner, she sees Raven quietly standing next to a tall gray tree. Raven smiles her sad smile, then pulls up her hood and melts into the shadows of the forest. As they exit the woods and the TimeChair comes into view, Cindy quickens her pace, both dreading and longing for the task ahead of her**
JIMMY: (approaching them) Cindy, we have to leave now.
CINDY: I know.
JIMMY: Then let’s go. We have no time to waste.
**He climbs onto the operator’s seat and punches in a few coordinates. Cindy climbs on, but turns back to Past Jimmy, who is standing next to them, his glance fixed on the ground**
CINDY: So, this is goodbye?
PAST JIMMY: (smiling sadly) Not forever.
**Cindy begins to tear up again, and she looks away**
JIMMY: Cindy, are you ready?
CINDY: (sorrow quickening into anger) Yes! Hurry up and get on with it for cryin’ out loud!
JIMMY: All right, here we go. See you on the other side.
**He activates the TimeChair, and
their surroundings
slowly begin to swirl and meld together. Cindy grasps Past Jimmy’s
hand, only
to watch it slowly fade away into nothingness. She catches one last
glance of
him through her tears before his form evaporates along with the rest of
the
sunlit world**
**With a soft thud, the Timechair comes to rest on a piece
of sidewalk in the middle of Retroville. It sputters, coughs out a
cloud of
black smoke, then collapses. Cindy and Jimmy find themselves sitting on
a heap
of metal scraps, smack dab in the middle of a city that seems entirely
deserted**
CINDY: Uh, Neutron? Are you sure we’re in the right place? There’s nobody here.
JIMMY: (getting up and looking around) Of course I’m sure! This is definitely Retroville.
CINDY: Um, I don’t think so. Something seems just a bit off, don’t you think? For starters, it’s completely devoid of human life!
JIMMY: It may not seem like it, but this IS our Retroville. I mean, look around you. Do you see all the familiar buildings and streets? I mean, we’re probably off by a couple of days from when we actually left, but …AHHHHHHHH!!!!
CINDY: Neutron?!
**Jimmy doubles over, holding his head in pain**
JIMMY: AAAHHH, my head! I can’t…too much…
CINDY: Neutron!
JIMMY: AAAAAAAA!
**He falls onto his back and rocks back and forth in pain, then sits up abruptly, shaking his head**
JIMMY: Whoa.
CINDY: What the heck just happened?
JIMMY: His memories. I just got all of Past Jimmy’s memories.
**Cindy stares for a moment, and then the full meaning of it dawns on her**
CINDY: What? ALL of them???
JIMMY: (looking at her strangely) Yes, Cindy, ALL of them.
CINDY: Oh man…
JIMMY: Ya.
**Before either of them can say another word, Cindy feels a hand close around her mouth and she is pulled backwards into a clump of nearby bushes. She struggles for a moment, but then stops when a familiar voice speaks**
LIBBY: Quit squirmin’, girl! Do you want to get us caught?
CINDY: Libby? Libby, it’s really you!
**She dives on her friend and envelops her in a crushing hug**
LIBBY: I’m glad to see ya too. But shhh!
**There is crash as two nearby figures pull Jimmy into the underbrush**
JIMMY: Stop this at once! I demand to know what’s going on…
CARL: Shh, be quiet Jimmy, or he might hear us.
JIMMY: Carl? Sheen? Is that you?
**Jimmy pushes a button on his wristwatch and a soft blue glow illuminates the interior of their hideout. Sheen, Carl, and Libby are huddled against the foliage, all dressed in matching gray uniforms**
CINDY: OK, could somebody please explain what’s going on here?
LIBBY: You first. Where the heck have you been?
CINDY: It’s a long story, believe me. But it’ll have to wait. What on earth are you doing here with Sheen and Carl, hiding in a clump of bushes on the side of the road?
LIBBY: (sarcastically) Oh, just throwin’ a dance party. What do you think? We’re hidin’ from him, of course!
JIMMY: Who is this “he,” you keep referring to?
**Sheen grabs Jimmy’s wrist and pulls it under his chin, illuminating his face with the eerie blue glow of Jimmy’s watch**
SHEEN: (in his best creepy voice) Who is he, you ask? Who is he? George Rapscallion…the very essence of evil. And don’t let the name fool you; he’s BAD. Very BAD.
JIMMY: (pulling his hand away) Sheen, cut it out! W-wait. George Rapscallion? The evil genius with black hair and red eyes? That George Rapscallion?
LIBBY: The same. Not to mention one seriously flawed sense of fashion. (gesturing at her outfit) Did you happen to check out this rag he’s makin’ us wear?
JIMMY: Wait. So George is here in Retroville.
CINDY: That’s what she said, genius.
**He glares at Cindy**
CARL: He’s here, Jimmy, but I’m confused. How do you know George?
JIMMY: (looking suspiciously at the three of them) Right now I think a better question would be “how did he get here”?
LIBBY: (hands on her hips) Why don’t you ask Sheen?
CINDY AND JIMMY: Sheen?!
SHEEN: Ya, there’s a funny story about that. You see, after you and Cindy disappeared and all, Carl thought we should go to your lab and…
CARL: I did not! That was Libby.
LIBBY: Was not! You guys brought me to his lab.
CARL: So? I told you it was a bad idea.
LIBBY: So?
SHEEN: So? So? So anyways, we went into your lab and then Carl played with your Time Pincher…
LIBBY: Oh no, Sheen, you’re not gonna pin this one on Carl. You were the one who said we should mess with the controls.
SHEEN: Was not!
LIBBY: Were so!
CARL: Ahhh! They’re doing it again!!!
**Cindy and Jimmy are extremely confused by this point. They watch, baffled, as Sheen and Libby start arguing louder and louder**
LIBBY: No! No! I told you to push the one that said “auto return,” but you had to go all Sheenish and push the big red one…
SHEEN: (hands over ears) La la la la I’m not listening! La la la…
LIBBY: Listen to me Sheen Juarrera Estevez! Now!
SHEEN: I see your lips moving, but there’s no sound!
LIBBY: Oh, is that so? Cause I have no problem turnin’ up the volume!
SHEEN: LLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LIBBY: Ahhh! You’re so frustrating!!! If you could stop being immature for five seconds…
CINDY: (aside to Jimmy) Are we really this bad when we fight?
JIMMY: No way.
**Carl crawls away from the arguing pair and speaks in a hushed tone**
CARL: I’m sorry about them, Jimmy. We haven’t been getting along very well since George took over the city.
CINDY: George took over the city?
JIMMY: (smirking) That’s what he said, genius.
**She sticks her tongue out at him**
CARL: I’m really sorry about this whole mess, Jimmy. We were just trying to save you. When we used your Time Pincher we didn’t know it would bring George here!
JIMMY: (sighing) It’s not your fault. I designed that feature to locate someone in the time stream with the same IQ as me. Admittedly, it was not one of my brighter ideas, because it kept bringing up this evil guy George. I sent him back, but I never thought to remove the button that brings him here.
CINDY: OK, so let me get this straight. Sheen, being the complete idiot that he is, managed to use one of Nerdtron’s inventions to bring home some evil guy who’s even smarter than Jimmy. And, during the short time we were away, he managed to turn you all into slaves and bring the whole city under his rule. You guys were so terrified that you sought refuge in this bush, and just because we’re SO lucky, we walked into the whole mess. Is that pretty much it?
CARL: Yup that’s pretty much it.
CINDY: We’re doomed.
JIMMY: Actually, Cindy, he’s not smarter than me. Our IQ’s are identical.
CINDY: Like I said, we’re doomed.
**All of the sudden, there is an
enormous booming noise
and a rush of hot air. The tops of the bushes are blown apart, and the
gang can
see the
GEORGE: What have we here? A couple of rebels, planning their next move? You shall regret the day you schemed against me!
**George activates a large blaster cannon, and it begins charging to fire**
CARL: (jumping out of the bush) Mommy!
LIBBY: Look out!
**She pushes Sheen out of the way and he hits Jimmy, who in turns hits Cindy, knocking them all out of the bush and onto the sidewalk. An instant later George’s laser incinerates their hiding place, leaving only a charred black mark in its place.
SHEEN: Run for your lives! Not even Ultralord can save you now!
KIDS: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
**Instinctively, they all split up.
Cindy follows Libby
into an abandoned clothing store, and Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl run
towards
JIMMY: (panting from running) You
guys didn’t tell me he
converted the
CARL: Sorry Jimmy, we’ve just seen so many weird things that after awhile they all start to blend together.
SHEEN: Ya! The shock factor sure ain’t what it used to be.
**The
JIMMY: We can’t outrun him! Split up!
**They break lines and each run in a different direction**
JIMMY: (yelling over to them) Sheen! Carl! He’ll come after me. Find Cindy and Libby and get to my lab. The only way to send him back is to get to the Time Pincher and push the same button again.
SHEEN: The one that says “do not push under any circumstances or we’re all doomed”?
JIMMY: Ya. Hurry up and…oof!
**Jimmy finds himself tangled in a
net, and Sheen and Carl
take off towards the clothing store where Cindy and Libby are hiding.
George
lands the
GEORGE: Well, well, would you look at that. My nemesis, James Isaac Neutron, is all tangled up in a net. How serendipitous.
JIMMY: Ha! I hope you enjoyed your dictatorship, Georgie boy, because it won’t last much longer.
GEORGE: Oh, I think it will. You
see, after I capture the
rest of your friends, there will be nobody left in this town to oppose
me. And
who’s to say I’ll stop there? It’s a big world out there. Maybe I could
start
my own nation. How about The
JIMMY: What is it with you evil types and world domination?
GEORGE: It’s a villain thing. But that’s beyond the point! Let me take you to my home base at city hall. There are a few things that I want to show you.
GEORGE: (turning around) You, minion! Escort Mr. Neutron to the janitor’s closet…err…the prison hold of my warship at once!
**Jimmy watches as Butch appears in the doorway and walks down**
BUTCH: (cracking his knuckles) With pleasure.
**He slings Jimmy over his shoulder and carries him in**
JIMMY: (whispering) Butch, why are you doing this? He’s using you! You’re one of us, you should be helping to defeat him.
BUTCH: Are you nuts? This guy’s my idol (tears fill his eyes) He’s like the big brother I never had…
**Butch tosses Jimmy into the pitch-dark closet, dusts off his hands, and slams the door**
JIMMY: (sarcastically) Perfect…
**Meanwhile, Sheen and Carl careen down the street and
through the double doors of the clothing store. Carl, panting hard,
leans
against the clearance rack to catch his breath. His weight is too much
for the
weak metal frame and it collapses, revealing Cindy and Libby hiding
behind it**
LIBBY: Guys, get outta here! You’re gonna lead him right to us!
CINDY: Not to mention that you just made mincemeat of a perfectly good hiding place!
**Carl props up the clothing rack and the boys join Cindy and Libby behind it**
CARL: Sorry you guys, but Jimmy told us to find you.
SHEEN: Ya, he’s in trouble.
CINDY: Trouble? What kind of trouble? Where is he?
CARL: George captured him.
CINDY: What???
CARL: Jimmy knew George would get him so he sent us to find you. He told us how to send George back.
LIBBY: He did? How?
SHEEN: We have to go to Jimmy’s lab and push the big red button again. It’s the only way to get rid of him.
LIBBY: Really? Is that all? I thought it would be more complicated than that.
SHEEN: Go figure.
CINDY: Whoa whoa ...wait. OK, let’s approach this logically. If we’re going to do this, then we should divide the route to Neutron’s house into a grid pattern and split up, each taking a different route. That way George will have a harder time catching us.
LIBBY: Good thinkin’, girl. I’m all for that, but remember, we gotta be careful. At least one of us HAS to make it to Jimmy’s lab.
CINDY: There’s just one problem. How
the heck are we going
to get in? Neutron’s got that placed rigged up like
CARL: Um, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Jimmy keeps a bag of his hair under the third cobblestone in the path in his backyard.
SHEEN: Hey, how come he never told me about that?
CARL: Because last time he told you about his stash you dug it up and made a mustache, remember?
SHEEN: Oh yeah.
LIBBY: Uh, Carl? What does a bag of hair have to do with anythin’?
CARL: That’s how you get into his lab. All you have to do is put Jimmy’s hair up to the DNA scanner on his clubhouse, and it’ll let you in.
CINDY: OK, let’s move out. Libby, you go north and cut around to Neutron’s house. Carl, take the sidewalks directly west, and Sheen, cut across the backyards and try to stay hidden. I’m going down the main road. We’ll meet up at…
**There is a huge crash and the
whole front wall of the
store explodes. Rubble flies everywhere, and as the dust clears, the
form of
the
GEORGE: Knock knock!
CINDY: Run!
**The kids split up and each dart out a different exit door**
GEORGE: Which one should I go after? Hmm… (choosing from the 4 doors) Eeny meeny miney moe, catch a rebel by the toe. If he hollers, break the bone…eeny meeny miney moe!
**He stops on the door Cindy ran out
of, and smiles
cruelly. He steers the
GEORGE: (landing beside her) I was hoping I’d find you here.
CINDY: (snarling) Where’s Neutron?
GEORGE: He’s safe and sound. But your fate’s not quite as certain. I’ve never seen you before, pretty one. Where did you come from?
CINDY: Wouldn’t you like to know?
GEORGE: Oh come now, don’t be so stubborn. You look like a sensible sort of person. Besides, you’re much too beautiful to live the hard life of a rebel. Why don’t you join me? You can rule the city by my side.
CINDY: In your dreams, fruitcake.
GEORGE: You’re coming with me, girl, whether you like it or not...
**He approaches her, and instantly Cindy’s years of Tae-Kwon-Do training kick in. She roundhouse kicks him right in the face**
GEORGE: (staggering back and holding his nose) Why, you little…!
CINDY: Ha! You want some more?
**She goes to punch him, but is stopped by Butch, who has snuck up behind her. He grabs her wrist and throws a pillowcase over her head, and restrains her as she kicks and squirms**
CINDY: Let me go!
BUTCH: I got her, boss.
GEORGE: Excellent work, minion. You’re learning quickly. Now, throw the wench into the janitor’s closet…err…prison hold along with the other prisoner. And be quick! We still have to catch the others.
**Butch carries a clawing and fighting Cindy into the Candy Bar, shoves her into the janitor’s closet, and bangs the door shut**
CINDY: (slamming her fists against the door) Darn it! OOOH!
JIMMY: Cindy?
CINDY: Whoa. You’re here too, Nerdtron?
JIMMY: Ya.
**Jimmy turns on his watch light, and the room springs to life. He is sitting against the back wall, bouncing a tennis ball absently. There is a mop and a pail beside him, but other than that the tiny room is completely empty. Cindy slumps down with her back against the door**
CINDY: I shouldn’t have let myself get captured.
JIMMY: Hey, cheer up. I’m sure we’ll get out of this. I mean, we managed to survive dinosaurs, religion-crazed Aztecs, the Black Death, and each other. What’s a little guy in a cape and tights?
CINDY: (laughing halfheartedly) Ha! Tights.
JIMMY: Ya.
**He chucks her the ball and she begins bouncing it without much thought. After a minute she passes it back to him and they begin tossing it back and forth**
CINDY: So, aren’t you going to bust us out of here? I mean, why not whip out your watch laser and blast this place to pieces?
JIMMY: You think I haven’t tried that? George isn’t stupid. He’s replaced the walls with Carbonium…it’s practically unbreakable.
CINDY: Well can’t you do something? Now would be a really good time for one of your brain blast bits.
JIMMY: More like a brain bomb. I can’t think of anything. We’re just going to have to hope that Carl, Sheen, or Libby make it to my lab.
CINDY: Hello, is your head out in orbit? They don’t stand a chance! I mean, the guy’s got a flying restaurant. You can’t beat that.
JIMMY: You’d be surprised what the guys can do when they have to. Have a little confidence in your friends.
CINDY: Let’s hope you’re right, because a life in servitude isn’t exactly at the top of my list.
JIMMY: They’ll come through. Believe me.
**There is a moment of silence and
then, without
warning, the
CINDY: (lifting the bucket off her head) Well that was just magical.
** There are some muffled noises outside, and a second later Butch opens the closet door and throws Carl in. He lands on top of the tennis ball and squashes it flat**
BUTCH: And stay in!
**He slams the door**
CARL: (getting up) Hey Jimmy and Cindy.
JIMMY: Carl! How did you get caught?
CARL: I’m sorry Jimmy, honest, but there was this pie that had been left cooling on a windowsill and it just looked so good…I couldn’t help myself Jimmy!
CINDY: You numbskull! You gave yourself up over a pie?
CARL: Well, I tried to hide and eat it but then George caught me and I couldn’t run away fast enough. And now I’m here…I’m real sorry you guys!
JIMMY: Carl!
CINDY: Nice work, dipstick.
CARL: Well if it makes you feel any better I still have the pie.
**He pulls it from who-knows-where and holds it out**
CINDY: (sarcastically) Yes, Carl, that does make me feel better. In fact, the future seems so much brighter now.
CARL: Well I’m glad…
CINDY: (yelling) What, are you completely brainless?! Of course that doesn’t make me feel better! We’re trapped in a janitor’s closet by a cape-wearing psychopath who’s going to force us to work as slaves for the rest of our lives! This may be the only chance we’ll ever get to save ourselves, and now we’re down another person thanks to your inability to ignore your stomach! I just can’t…Ugh! Give me that!
**She grabs the pie and throws it in his face, but Jimmy stops her an instant before it hits him**
JIMMY: Wait, Cindy. You just gave me an idea.
CINDY: (raising an eyebrow) I did?
JIMMY: Yes. Cindy, do you think you can take Butch?
CINDY: Take him?
JIMMY: Ya, you know, take him. Beat him up, take him down, mess him up, kick his…
CINDY: I know what it means! What’s your point?
JIMMY: My point is, that pie might just be our ticket out of here. Here’s the plan. Sooner or later Libby or Sheen will get captured, and when Butch brings them here, he’ll have to open the door. When he does, I’ll pie him in the face and Cindy can give him a taste of her Tae-kwon-do. Once Butch is out of the way, we’ll make a break for it and overpower George. Between the four of us, I’m sure we’ll be able to. Then I can commandeer this vessel and set everything straight again.
CINDY: You know, that might actually work. OK, General Patton, let’s lay our trap.
CARL: But my pie…
CINDY: Shove a sock in it Carl, or I’ll throw YOU at Butch instead of the pie.
CARL: OK.
**Meanwhile, back on the ground, Libby has reached Cindy’s
house and is working her way around the side. She stops and catches her
breath,
then jumps when she hears a small noise behind her. Trembling, she
grabs a
stick from the front lawn and stealthily creeps toward the sound. She
presses her
back up against the corner and waits as footsteps approach. At the last
minute
she jumps out and whacks the intruder on the head**
SHEEN: (stumbling back) Ow!!!! What the heck?!
LIBBY: O my gosh, Sheen, I’m so sorry! I thought you were George!
SHEEN: (rubbing the sore spot) You violent beast! That’s gonna bruise.
LIBBY: Sheen, I’m sorry! But you shouldn’t have snuck up on me like that.
SHEEN: Actually, I thought you were George too. (he holds out a rock) I was gonna hit you over the head with this.
LIBBY: Oh, and you said I’m the violent beast?
**There is a droning sound in the distance**
LIBBY: (gasping) I’ll betcha that’s George comin’ to get us. We better get a move on; we have to get across the street to Jimmy’s lab.
SHEEN: I’ll race you!
LIBBY: No…wait…Sheen!
**Sheen makes a mad dash across the road. He swerves, nearly falls down an open manhole, and then slides across the grass and dirt onto the mat in front of Jimmy’s clubhouse**
SHEEN: Home run! Who’s good?
LIBBY: I am.
SHEEN: Huh?
**Sheen looks up to see Libby already standing there**
LIBBY: (giving a fake yawn) What took you so long? I think I may have some age spots developing…
SHEEN: How did you…you were behind…
LIBBY: What can I say? I’m amazin’.
SHEEN: (staring unabashedly) I’ll say.
LIBBY: Now let’s dig up that hair…where did Carl say it was? I think it was under the third cobblestone. Or maybe it was the fourth…Sheen?
SHEEN: We’ll have to settle this scientifically. Eeny meeny miney…
LIBBY: Sheen!
SHEEN: Hold on a second! Let me finish…Moe! OK, we’re going with number four (he rolls up his sleeves) Get a load of this Libs…see how a real man works.
**He begins frantically digging. Dirt, gravel, and sand fly in every direction**
LIBBY: Hurry up! I hear him comin’!
SHEEN: (holding up an unidentifiable mass) Hey, look! This is my fourth oldest UltraLord, from episode 17 with factory gender error! I wonder how he…err…she got under here…
LIBBY: If it’s not the hair, then ignore it. Now gimme that!
SHEEN: Hey!
**She takes the action figure and chucks it, then joins Sheen in digging**
LIBBY: It’s not under here! It must have been under the third cobblestone after all.
**She goes to lift the other stone,
but it won’t budge.
Sheen pulls on it too, but even between the two of them they can’t lift
it off.
The sound of the
SHEEN: Well, Libs, I guess it could be worse.
LIBBY: How?
SHEEN: It could be raining.
**They watch as the
LIBBY: (staring up at the ship) Sheen?
SHEEN: Ya?
LIBBY: Run!
**They split up and make a mad rush
out of Jimmy’s
backyard and across the street. George shoots a net out of the
SHEEN: (running to her) I’ll get you out!
LIBBY: No, stop! Look out, Sheen!
**George shoots out another net and hits Sheen. The force of it knocks him backward and he wavers on the edge of the open manhole, then loses his balance and falls in. There is a splash as he lands in the open sewer below**
LIBBY: NO! Sheen! Sheen!
GEORGE: (laughing) Excellent! I’ve captured one, and the other flushed himself. That’s one less person for me to execute. I love it when other people do my job…
LIBBY: (struggling) Let me go! I have to help him!
GEORGE: Um, how about NO?
LIBBY: George! Please!
GEORGE: Oh look, it knows my name. How sweet. (yelling behind him) Butch! Get down here. We have another captive for the prison hold.
BUTCH: (saluting with the wrong hand) Sir yes sir!
**George lands the
LIBBY: Please put me down, Butch! I’ll give you every CD in my collection, and I’ll get Cindy to do your homework from now on!
BUTCH: As tempting as that sounds, I take my orders from George. And he says that I can’t fraternize with victims of his evil plot…
**Butch opens the closet door, and out of the gloom, a pie flies through the air and hits him square on the face. He drops Libby, who looks about in utter confusion at the scene being played out before her. Butch’s entire face is smothered in cherry pie, and an instant later, Cindy leaps out of the doorway, grabs his arm, and flips him over. She holds him down as Jimmy and Carl run out of the closet**
CINDY: OK, boys, throw him in! And make him real comfortable…
**Jimmy and Carl shove Butch into the prison hold and close the door. Libby stares in bewilderment as the three of them turn to face her**
LIBBY: Wow. What the heck was that?
CARL: (licking pie off his fingers) Our escape plan.
CINDY: And just in time, by the look of things. It looks like ultraloser is the last one out there.
JIMMY: Where is Sheen? Did he manage to get into my lab?
LIBBY: No! George showed up before we could get in, and Sheen fell down an open manhole into the sewer…
CINDY: What? An open manhole? How the heck did he manage to do that?
LIBBY: I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. And I’m afraid he might really be hurt. He was all tangled up in a net when he fell into the water.
CARL: Oh, poor Sheen!
CINDY: Poor Sheen? Poor us! We’re fresh out of options.
JIMMY: Not quite. It’ll be difficult, but we can still get out of this if we can get to the cockpit and overpower George.
LIBBY: Well what’re we standin’ around for? Let’s get goin’!
JIMMY: OK, but we have to be extremely careful. He is a genius after all, and he could have all manner of gadgets at his disposal to stop us.
CINDY: Here’s the plan. We’ll split up into two groups; Libby and Carl can act as the distraction, and Neutron and I will get to the cockpit and try to get the vessel under our control.
LIBBY: (raising an eyebrow) You’re gonna work with Jimmy? Over me?
CINDY: Uh…
JIMMY: Yes she is. Come on Cindy, we have to move quickly. Carl, you and Libby go to the exit and open the big doors. Make as much noise as you can, and hopefully George will leave the flight cabin and we can find a way to lock him out of the system.
**Jimmy gives the go-ahead, and Libby and Carl run to the main doors. Cindy and Jimmy creep silently down a dimly lit hall and peer through the open doorway into the Sam’s private office, which has been converted into a pilot’s cabin**
JIMMY: There’s nobody here.
CINDY: Maybe George has it on autopilot.
JIMMY: (nervously) I didn’t think of that…
CINDY: If he’s not in here, then we could have sent Libby and Carl into serious danger! Shouldn’t we warn them?
JIMMY: And risk capture too? That wouldn’t make any sense. We might as well take advantage of the situation. After all, there’s nobody here to stop us.
**They step into the cockpit, and instantly buzzing red alarms go off**
JIMMY: Hurry, get to the console! We have to figure out how to shut the alarm off before…
**The walls begin to emit a green gas**
JIMMY: What the…? Ahhh! Sleeping gas! Cindy…don’t…breathe…
CINDY: (coughing) I can’t!
**Both of them waver and fall over**
CINDY: Don’t…lose…control…uh.
**She passes out, and Jimmy tries to
stand, but then falls
unconscious as well. The gas dissipates, and George walks into the
doorway,
smiling grimly**
**Cindy slowly awakens, and her surroundings gradually swim into focus through the blur of her pounding headache. Holding her forehead in pain, she sits up and surveys her setting. A strange, translucent energy wall surrounds her, and Jimmy and the others are in identical enclosures. All four of them are arranged in a straight line on top of City Hall in downtown Retroville. Jimmy and Cindy are in the middle, and Libby and Carl are on either side**
CINDY: Guys? Are you awake?
JIMMY: Ya.
CINDY: What the heck is going on? How did we get here?
JIMMY: George hit us with sleeping gas, remember?
CINDY: Oh…yes! I think I remember. We were trying to get into the cockpit, weren’t we? And we sent Libby and Carl to act as the distraction, but then everything went horribly wrong.
LIBBY: You got that right. And now we’re all stuck behind these force field things.
JIMMY: (examining the force field) Hmm…yes…it appears to be a Higgs field derivative with some charged particles and a sub molecular barrier that prevents the collective movement of our atoms through the wall.
CINDY: W-wait…a Higgs field? But Neutron, I thought those hadn’t been experimentally verified yet.
JIMMY: Are you kidding me? I’ve been working with Higgs fields for years. The guys at NASA just don’t know about it yet.
CINDY: Are you serious? That could revolutionize the way people view the universe! You should…
LIBBY: (interrupting) Hello, get with me please! Let’s forget about the Hick field for a second and…
CINDY AND JIMMY: Higgs Field!
LIBBY: Whatever! The point is, what are we gonna do?
JIMMY: Sheen’s still out there. There’s a chance that he could still save us.
CINDY: Oh, yeah, and maybe he can find the Holy Grail while he’s at it. Please! Keep dreaming, Neutron. I mean seriously, Sheen save us? If you were to look up the word “moron” in the dictionary, the definition would be “Sheen”. The boy doesn’t know right from left, and you expect him to defeat an evil mastermind and save our lives, all within the next five minutes? You’re even more deranged than I thought.
LIBBY: Don’t be so down on him, Cindy! I believe in Sheen.
CINDY: No, your hormones believe in Sheen. You wouldn’t be saying that if you didn’t have the hots for him.
LIBBY: Shut up! Besides, so what if I got the hots? At least I’m not lukewarm!
CINDY: Are you insinuating something?
LIBBY: I dunno, why don’t you argue with me about it? Unless you’d rather argue with Jimmy…
CINDY: Watch it, Libby…
LIBBY: Or maybe you’d rather be doing something else with Jimmy…
CINDY: Libby!
CARL: OK this is really uncomfortable.
JIMMY: Guys! Stop it! I don’t want to go out like this. Now apologize to each other.
CINDY: What are you, my mother?
JIMMY: Do it!
**Cindy and Libby reluctantly turn to each other and exchange apologies. Almost immediately afterwards, George appears behind them, clapping his hands**
GEORGE: Well, that was simply beautiful. You’ve truly touched me with the strength and steadfastness of your friendship. I am now a better person for having witnessed that. But enough pleasantries. Well boys and girls, it looks like you’ve lost. And I mean REALLY lost.
JIMMY: We’ll see about that!
GEORGE: (laughing) Come on! You didn’t stand a chance from the moment you started. You were unprepared and outmatched. All things considered, you actually put up a good fight. That is…all except you, Jimmy. You know, I really expected better from someone of your caliber. I mean, from what I’ve heard you’ve saved the Earth numerous times. But this time your approach was really quite pathetic, I must say. The entire time you were formulating your escape plan I was watching everything through my hidden cameras. I mean honestly, did you really think that I wouldn’t have video surveillance on my own ship? You disappoint me, Jimmy.
CARL: It’s not his fault! Jimmy just stepped into all this. It was our fault in the first place for bringing you here.
GEORGE: Carl, Carl. I pity you, I truly do. But it certainly won’t stop me from punishing you for your treason. But before I do, kindly walk to the edge of the building, there’s something I’d like to show you.
**George pulls out a handheld control device and pushes a few buttons. The force fields begin to elongate, and they stretch far enough so that their occupants can walk to the very edge of the roof. Carl, Jimmy, Cindy, and Libby cautiously toddle to the edge and peer over. Crowds of people, all dressed in matching gray uniforms, walk the streets below. They are all doing hard labor of some kind, carting building materials to and from different work sites around the city**
GEORGE: What do you think of my work force? Impressive, I know. In fact, I’ve managed to increase the city’s efficiency by 200 percent in the short time I’ve been here, with only a few minor problems.
CINDY: You’re sick! You can’t keep people as slaves.
GEORGE: I certainly can. And, as dictator, I also reserve the right to execute traitors and rebels.
**He picks up a megaphone and speaks to the masses**
GEORGE: Testing one…two…three…uh-um! May I have your attention everyone? Up here, on the roof please! Thank you! Slaves and servants, serfs and laborers, I have an announcement. If you’ll turn your attention to the top of city hall, you will see a demonstration of my almighty and unquestionable power. On top of this roof are four traitors, all of which have committed high crimes against me, the autocratic ruler of this town. As such, I reserve the right to mercilessly exterminate them.
CINDY: WHAT???
GEORGE: (speaking to the kids) Yes, you heard me correctly. But before I execute you, I think I feel a classical villain monologue coming on. Do any of you have anything else to say before I begin my long and complicated speech, full of gloating and overconfidence?
ALL: Nope, go on.
GEORGE: Good.
**George pushes another button, and the four force field containment units merge into one gigantic one. The kids inside run to each other and join into a frightened huddle. George again speaks to the masses**
GEORGE: You may recognize these four as James Isaac Neutron, Cynthia Aurora Vortex, Liberty Danielle Folfax, and Carlton Ulysses Wheezer. These pathetic rebels stood against me and failed. As punishment for their crimes, I shall now execute them before your eyes. Their comrade, Sheen Juarrera Estevez, has already met his well-deserved end.
**There is a collective wail among the townsfolk**
GEORGE: Silence, fools! I am telling you this for one reason alone. These four insurgents were helpless against me, despite all their planning and the brilliant mind of your resident genius, young Mr. Neutron. This proves my ultimate power beyond a shadow of a doubt. I warn you now, I am not to be trifled with! Disobey me, and you’ll end up like them. I am unstoppable and all-powerful. UNDERSTAND???
**More wailing from the townsfolk**
GEORGE: Yes, tremble before me you weaklings! And now, time to finish off these pesky revolutionaries once and for all. Butch, bring forth the disintegration ray!
**Butch struggles to push a large, chrome-colored gun up the ramp leading to the roof. After much labor, he manages to get it to George**
BUTCH: (panting) Your evilness, I know I’m not supposed to question your devious plots, but you do you really have to execute them like this? I mean, these kids are my classmates. I need them around. Who else am I supposed to beat up?
GEORGE: How DARE you question me? I do not tolerate impertinence! If you ever try anything like that again, I’ll execute YOU along with the prisoners. Get it?
**Butch looks terrified for a moment, then turns tail and runs back to the ramp leading off the roof**
GEORGE: (slapping himself on the forehead) They just don’t make good henchman like they used to.
**He turns on the disintegration ray and points it at his prisoners**
GEORGE: Well foolish rebels, it’s time to say goodbye. Is everyone ready for the countdown? Here we go! Ten…nine…
JIMMY: Guys? I know that I can’t possibly make it up to you, but I’d really like to apologize. You know, for all the times that I’ve nearly destroyed Retroville or nearly got us killed, blown up, or maimed in some way. It was never meant to go this far.
CARL: It’s OK, Jimmy! I’m glad you’re my best friend, even if I did have to be your guinea pig!
GEORGE: Eight…seven…six…
**Libby turns to Cindy**
LIBBY: Well, goodbye Cindy. It’s been real, girlfriend.
CINDY: (hugging Libby) Goodbye Libs!
GEORGE: Five…four…
**Cindy and Jimmy turn to each other**
CINDY: Neutron, I’m sorry I’ve been such a rag!
JIMMY: (taking her hand) And I’m sorry I’ve been so pig-headed.
GEORGE: Three…Two…
LIBBY: I just wish I could have seen Sheen one more time…
**Cindy buries her face against Jimmy’s chest, Carl hides behind them, and Libby holds onto Cindy’s shoulder. They all brace themselves**
GEORGE: One!!!
**All four watch in horror as he moves his hand toward the button. An instant before he reaches it, he looks down, and jumps a little when he realizes that his hand is glowing. He watches in terror as the golden light crawls up his arms and creeps down onto his torso. The eerie glow soon covers his entire body**
GEORGE: (frantically) What’s….what’s happening to me? No, stop it! Stop it! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
** The light moves inside him and his eyes and open mouth become unbearably bright. A moment later, there is blinding flash of light and George vanishes completely. His controller falls to the ground, and the force fields recede. There is a stunned silence, and then the crowd below breaks out into hysterical cheers**
CARL: I’m alive? Jimmy, I’m alive!
**He practically crushes Jimmy in a hug**
LIBBY: OK, what just happened?
JIMMY: (pushing Carl off him) I…I don’t believe it! Sheen did it! He sent him back!
CINDY: What? You mean Ultraloser actually pulled it off?
JIMMY: Yes! George is gone.
LIBBY: (cheering) Oh, way to go Sheen!
CARL: Wow, Sheen’s a hero! But Jimmy I’m a little confused. Why did George go all glowy like that?
JIMMY: That was merely the visual effect created by the forced travel of a collection of atoms—George that is—through the space-time continuum. But never mind that! We’re free!
LIBBY: Well, what are we standin’
around for? Let’s go
find Sheen!
**The kids exit the roof and follow the ramp down to the ground. There, they are greeted by a swarm of adults. Mr. and Mrs. Neutron run to their son, and the other kids meet up with their respective parents**
JUDY: (hugging him) Oh, Jimmy! We missed you so much!
HUGH: So, Jimbo, did you finally win that scavenger hunt? That must have been one heck of a game! Three whole days! As I was telling your friends here, I was the KING of scavenger hunts back when…
JIMMY: Dad? What are you talking about?
CARL: (to Jimmy) We told your dad that you were playing in a scavenger hunt and that’s why you were missing.
JIMMY: Oh…
JUDY: (hands on her hips) Jimmy, dear, would you mind telling us exactly where you were? And none of this scavenger hunt nonsense. I was worried sick!
JIMMY: No time to explain now, Mom.
But I promise I will
later. Right now, we have to go find Sheen. Everyone, to the
**Jimmy and his friends break away from the adults and head for the Candy Bar. Sam pushes his way through the crowd and blocks them from entering his restaurant**
SAM: Hey, you kids! You’ve got some explaining to do! You think you can just take my shop and go flying through the sky. Well guess what? You can’t!
JIMMY: Sorry Sam, but this is kind of urgent. We’ll land it back where it belongs after we’re done with it!
**The kids run around Sam and go into the Candy Bar. It lifts off and flies towards Jimmy’s house**
SAM: Those kids are a menace! I’m gonna get the authorities, ya, that’s what I’m gonna do.
**He stalks off back into he crowd,
muttering to himself.
Jimmy, meanwhile, is maneuvering the
CINDY: (smiling at him) You know, Neutron, if this whole situation hadn’t been life and death, flying in this would be really cool.
JIMMY: I know what you mean. It’s too bad I’ll have to take apart the engines and convert it back to normal.
CINDY: (looking dejected) Oh, can’t we just take it for a few quick rides before that? I really like being your co-captain. And you’re a really good pilot…
**Jimmy, having made a smooth landing, begins flicking switches and shutting the ship down**
CINDY: Jimmy, did you hear me?
JIMMY: Ya. But you might as well forget about it. It has to go back to normal.
**Cindy pouts for a moment, then switches off the equipment in front of her and gets up**
CINDY: Fine, be that way.
**She glares at him, then marches over to Libby**
CINDY: C’mon, Libs. Let’s go find Sheen.
**The four of them exit the ship and make their way into Jimmy’s backyard. As they near the lab, Sheen bursts out of the clubhouse with Goddard at his side**
GODDARD: eow, bark bark!
JIMMY: Goddard! Sheen!
SHEEN: Hey guys!
LIBBY: (running to him) Sheen! You did it! You saved us!
**She jumps on him, knocking him down**
SHEEN: (grinning at Libby) Wow, I should save the day more often!
**Jimmy helps Sheen up, and they all gather round him**
CARL: Wow, Sheen! You’re a hero! How did you do it?
LIBBY: How did you get out of that net?
CINDY: Ya, Sheen. You surprised us all.
SHEEN: (basking in their admiration) Hold on people, you’ll all get a chance to be in awe of me. But first, let me tell you my story. You might want to sit down.
**They all sit down except Sheen, who stands before them like a decked-out war hero**
SHEEN: Goddard, a little ambience please!
**Goddard switches on
SHEEN: There I was…all tangled up in a net, fighting the dark water deep down in the sewer. You see, after I fell in, I got caught in a current and was pulled farther and farther into the sewer. There seemed to be no escape! But then, I had an idea…
CARL: (with childlike enthusiasm) Wow! What was it?
SHEEN: Well, I remembered that in the director’s cut of Ultralord episode 91, Ultralord used the sewer systems underground to break into the Tangean capital and overthrow the evil overlord. Of course, he had a 29 mm plasma blaster cannon and he practically blew the passageway open…Man was that cool! I have a poster in my room of that scene where he…
CINDY: What’s your point ultradork? Are you going somewhere with this?
SHEEN: (eye twitching) Stop mocking Ultralord! He has the right to have his story heard!
JIMMY: (gently) Sheen, remember, we’re listening to YOUR story, not Ultralord’s. You can tell us about episode 90…
SHEEN: 91!
JIMMY: …Episode 91 later. In the meantime, please continue.
SHEEN: Right! Uh…what was I saying?
LIBBY: You were in the sewer and you had just had an idea…
SHEEN: Right! I figured that I could use the sewer system to get to Jimmy’s lab without George finding me. I knew that somewhere the sewer connected to Jimmy’s lab, because Carl and I used to go to the sewer opening and soak Jimmy’s invisible hamsters in the water…
JIMMY: WHAT???
CARL: Sheen! I told you not to tell him about that! That was our own experiment!
SHEEN: Forget about it Carl! They all died anyway.
JIMMY: (incredulous) You submerged my invisible hamsters in wastewater?
SHEEN: They liked it I swear!
JIMMY: Ya, until they died!
CINDY: Hey, Captain ADHD, can we please get on with the story?
SHEEN: Fine! Jeez! Anyway, as I was saying before I was RUDELY interrupted, I managed to grab a hold of the railing of one of those underground walkways. I pulled myself up, and using Robo-fiend’s double secret judo chop, I got out of the net. I figured I was somewhere near Carl’s house because there was lots of phlegm clogging the pipe way…
CINDY & LIBBY: Eeeeeew!!!
SHEEN: …And so I headed just past it. I found a trail of that orange glowing substance that Jimmy says we shouldn’t drink…you know, that nuclear runoff junk…and I followed it until I came to…
**He pauses dramatically. Goddard cranks up the music louder and adds a flashing strobe light**
SHEEN: Jimmy’s lab!
CARL: (wide-eyed) Wow! Sheen, you’re amazing!
SHEEN: (slicking back his hair) Ya, I know. Anywho, I met up with Goddard, and he helped me get inside. But then I forgot what I had come for in the first place.
**His audience groans with annoyance**
SHEEN: But luckily I saw that phone booth and figured I’d make a phone call and ask you what I was supposed to be doing. When I got inside I saw the red button, and it all came back. And the rest is history.
**He smiles proudly**
SHEEN: Well, whaddya think of that?
**There is a moment of silence**
CINDY: You’re an idiot, Sheen.
LIBBY: (beaming at him) Not just any idiot. A BRILLIANT idiot. Sheen, if you weren’t covered head to toe in sewage, I think I’d come over there and give you a big kiss.
SHEEN: Really? Can I take a rain check on that?
**They blush and glance at each other shyly, leaving the other three feeling immensely uncomfortable**
JIMMY: Well, as much as I’d love to
continue this
conversation, we still have some business to attend to. Local
authorities have
to be contacted and debriefed, damage has to be repaired, the
LIBBY: And we seriously need to change out of these gray jumpsuits. They are a fashion nightmare!
JIMMY: Right. Carl, Sheen, and I
will return the
LIBBY: And Cindy and I will head on down to my house, cuz I seriously need to strip off this sorry excuse for an outfit.
**There is an awkward moment as they all stare at each other, realizing that their adventures have finally come to an end. Nobody knows quite what to say as they prepare to leave**
JIMMY: Well, I guess we’ll see you later.
CINDY: Ya. Later…
JIMMY: Maybe we could all meet up at
the
CINDY: Ya, that might be fun.
**After one last moment of silence, the group splits up and disperses. Before he heads off, Jimmy pulls Cindy aside**
CINDY: Oh. Hey Neutron.
JIMMY: Cindy? Listen, I know I was kind of cold to you back there when we were flying in the Candy Bar. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry and that my actions didn’t necessarily, well, reflect my feelings. It’s just all the things that have happened…I didn’t know what to say, you know?
CINDY: Really?
JIMMY: Yes. In fact, I was thinking…I’ve been working on this new space cruiser. It’s built for two, and I was wondering if, well, maybe you wanted to help me take it up for a spin sometime soon. I hear the rings of Saturn are beautiful this time of year.
CINDY: Really? Saturn?
JIMMY: Or anywhere else you want to go. So, you’ll come with me?
CINDY: Nothing would make me happier, Jimmy.
**Their eyes meet and they smile**
LIBBY: Hey Cindy, are you comin’ girlfriend? We gotta get a move on!
CINDY: Coming Libs!
**With one last lingering glance, Cindy and Jimmy split up and join their respective groups. As the boys walk away from the girls, Carl begins to fidget nervously**
CARL: Oh…
JIMMY: What’s the matter Carl?
CARL: I just have this feeling.
SHEEN: Oh, not this again! Jimmy, we’d better stop at a bathroom pronto or we’re gonna have a sorry mess on our hands!
CARL: Not that kind of feeling! It’s the kind where I think that we’re forgetting something. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t help feeling we’ve forgot something or someone…
JIMMY: Don’t worry Carl, you’ll think of it later. In the meantime…
CARL: (stopping dead in his tracks) OH!!! Nick!!!
SHEEN: What about Nick?
CARL: Sheen, don’t you remember what happened to him?
SHEEN: Hmm…let me think…Nope, drawing a blank!
CARL: Sheen! You accidentally turned him into cheese with Jimmy’s cheese ray, remember?
JIMMY: You got that thing to work?
SHEEN: Oh yeah, now I remember. Ha! I wonder if he’s melted at all in this heat. Wouldn’t that be cool?! We could display his disgusting melted body like a circus freak and exploit him for a million dollars!
JIMMY: (shaking his head) We’ll have to pick him up on our way to city hall. I swear you guys, what would you do without me?
**Meanwhile, as the boys discuss cheese, Cindy and Libby are heading in the opposite direction, discussing a completely different matter**
LIBBY: So, girl, when are ya gonna tell me about this adventure you had with Jimmy?
CINDY: Oh…it was nothing really. You know, we got stuck in the Cretaceous, then Aztecs worshipped me as a god, then we almost died from the bubonic plague. You know, same old stuff.
LIBBY: Uh-huh. But that ain’t the whole story, is it? You and Jimmy seemed awful friendly back there. What’s goin’ on?
CINDY: Nothing’s going on! I’m just a little preoccupied with all this excitement, that’s all.
LIBBY: I still think you’re leavin’ something out. C’mon girl, you can tell me.
CINDY: There’s nothing! I swear…
LIBBY: I’m not buyin’ it. C’mon Cindy, I know you better than that. Now tell me.
CINDY: (hesitantly) Well, there was…this guy…
LIBBY: (raising an eyebrow) Oh yeah? What was his name?
CINDY: Past Ji…I mean, “PJ”. Ya, his name was PJ.
LIBBY: Oh, is that so? What was he like?
CINDY: Well, he was smart, resourceful, and could come up with a solution for any kind of problem. Oh, and he had the most beautiful blue eyes…
LIBBY: Where’d ya meet him?
CINDY: Uh…I met him in the Middle Ages. I saved his life after he caught the Black Death, and then he saved mine.
**Libby considers for a moment, then evidently decides to believe her friend’s story**
LIBBY: Wow, next time you go gallivantin’ through space and time, take me too! He sounds dreamy!
**Cindy looks over her shoulder at the figure of Jimmy, rapidly disappearing into the distance. She smiles to herself**
CINDY: You’re right Libby. He is.
~*THE END*~
© 2005 Mara S.
Awww….so, what’d
you think? Was it cute? Suspenseful? Hard to follow? I love to hear
feedback,
so share your thoughts! It helps me improve my writing (not to mention
gives me
an ego boost from time to time). My email is ivory23@idreamofjimmy.com