~/~/~Red Eyes & Black Clothes~/~/~
Hi everyone! It's Cami with my long awaited and much anticipated fanfic: Red Eyes & Black Clothes. This is the grand premier of my original characters Toady, Toad, and MJ Conrade. What will follow is not officially the 1st chappie but kind of an introduction. I hope you all likey.
Dr.Spok: Too long has he haunted my dreams. Too
long has he
mocked me and my choices in TV programming. Too long-
Drew: Um, excuse me Dr.Spok-
Dr.Spok: Address me properly, minion!
Drew: Sorry, excuse me your supreme evilness, but Garry's Goofy Happy House is on.
Dr.Spok: Oh, goodie!!! But first, Drew.
Drew: Yes, your supreme evilness?
Dr.Spok: Get me DarkBeauty. I have a job for her. Muwahahahahahaha!!! Now let us go watch Garry's Goofy Happy House!!! Oh, I love that show!!!!
Drew: Of course, your supreme evilness [quietly to himself] Oh, I hate that show.
It was a very, very,
very windy day in Retroville. And for good reason; it was September
the 1st day back at school.
*We see Jimmy in a deserted classroom looking at the name tags on all the desks. Sheen is leaning on his desk looking extremely bored and Carl is standing by the entrance to the classroom eating pickled eggs out of a jar*
Sheen: Uh, remind me again, why are we in here 30
before school starts. I planned on stretching the time between the last
school and the first as long as possible. I even brought a huge block
of wax so
that the halls would be *evil chuckle* a little harder for Ms. Fowl to
*more evil chuckles*
Jimmy &Carl: *stare at him with mouths open*
Jimmy: Sometimes I see you in a psychiatric ward for criminals 20 years from now.
Carl: Yeah, but Jim, I was kind of thinking the same thing. Why are we here?
Jimmy: Okay, a few days ago I saw a few moving trucks pull up to that house down street, you know, the one that's been for sale for about a year.
Sheen: the Jeffergason's house?
Carl: Oh yeah, I remember them! Mrs. Jeffergason made the best fudge squares. She was pretty, too. But not as pretty as Jimmy's Mom.
Sheen: What did ya say, Carl?
Jimmy: Anyway, at dinner last night my Mom a said that she took a pie to the house as a welcome to the neighborhood present. A couple answered the door, but couldn't stay and chat 'cause they needed to enroll their kids in school. They have 4 kids. One of them is in college this year.
Sheen: Sooo, we are here because...
Jimmy: …their last names are Conrade.
Sheen: Oh, I get it. You think that they are blood thirsty aliens wanting to conquer Retroville and eventually the world. And they're putting up seemingly nice that will gain the trust of everyone in Retroville except you making you seem to be a paranoid, big-headed, loser. Like last time.
Jimmy: Um, not exactly. I'm checking the names tags on the desks to see if any Conrades are in this class
Sheen: Riiiiight....[to himself] I was going to say that next.
Jimmy: Ah ha! I found one! It says-
*A white and red blurs flies into the room ricocheting off the walls*
Jimmy: What the?!?!
????#1: Yea!!!! Wooooooooo!!!!
*The white and red crashes into the chalkboard causing an explosion of chalk dust.*
Jimmy:*cough* *cough* What happened? *cough* Is everyone *cough* all right?
Carl: [half wheezing half talking] Yes?
Sheen: Come closer *cough*
Carl: What is it?
Sheen: Everything *wheeze* is going white.
Carl: That’s only because there’s chalk dust everywhere.
Sheen: Oh, right, anyway, Carl, tell Libby I love her. *gasps and "dies"*
Carl: Sheen? Sheen?!? SHEEN??!!?? NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why?!? Why?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!
Sheen:*stands up* Stop crying, Carl. Leave it to you to ruin a overly dramatic soap opera impression. Sheesh!
* a small girl with two long blonde braids in patchwork overalls, a yellow shirt, and a giant hat that resembles a mushroom cup stands up covered in white dust, looks around, and-*
????#1: That...was...magical!!! Was that not magical, Toad?
????#2 or Toad:*lifts up head* Ugh...*drops head again*
Jimmy: Who are you?
Jimmy: Who are you?
Toady: I'm Toady and this is my twin bro Toad.[quietly] He has people issues. Shhhhhhh...[in regular voice] I think I should ask you the same question, Big-headed boy.
Jimmy: My name is Jimmy. JIMMY! Remember that The last thing I need is another Cindy hanging around.
Toady: Who's Cindy?
Jimmy: If you're in this class then you'll meet her later...unfortunately.
Toady: Huh, from your tone of voice I'd say that you have some issues with her.*pulls a business card out of a pocket in her overalls* Here's my card. Set up an appointment and we can talk. Now, if you will excuse
Sheen: Lemme see that card!*Jimmy hands it to him* [reading aloud] Are you feeling depressed? Have some major issues with a relationship? Do you want to leave the funny farm? Then come come to the offices of Advice 4 U (a.k.a. the abandoned janitor closet), an independent psychiatric help foundation dedicated to making your life the best it can be and making Toady rich. For more information call 1-800-IMA-KOOK.
Sheen and Carl: Wow.
Toady: Big hea-
Toady: Sorry. Jimmy, exactly why do you keep your hair in the shape of a Hershey kiss? It has to be thee absolute lamest thing I have ever seen.
Jimmy: I like my lame hair the way it is. You see, I keep it looking spic and span by using one of my inventions. It's called-
Toady: Do I care? Nope! Do pale kid and bologna boy talk as much as you?
Toady: It was the first thing that came to mind.
Sheen: Hmmm...it does have a nice ring to it. Yeah, I like it! All shall fear the wrath of UltraLord and his youthful ward: Bologna Boy!!!
Toady:[with Scottish accent] Now, aren't ye the smart one, laddie. I bet you’re a regular boy genius...Aye!
Sheen: Well, I don't like to brag, but-
Jimmy: Toady is your friend all right. I hope that he survived the crash despite his small capacity
Toady: Are you callin' him short, munchkin man? 'Cause if you call my twin short than your callin' me short.
Toady: If you call me short than I get to call you something. Besides I'm the average height for a 3 year-old.
Jimmy, Sheen, Carl: You're 4?!?!
Jimmy: Then why are you here?
Carl: Yeah, Lindbergh Elementary doesn't have a preschool program.
Toady: You would know if it did, huh.
Jimmy: Just answer the question, Toady.
Toady: Fine! Toad and I possess some natural intelligence that permits us to rise to a higher level of the educational system, if you must know.
Sheen: Fascinating. NOT!!!*breaks into hysterical laughter as everyone just stares* Oh, that was funny! Hey Froggy, can you ask Frog to teach me how to lie face down on the floor without moving or appearing to breath?
Toady: It's Toady and Toad!
Carl: He's not *gulp* dead is he? I don't think my heart can take it. I could be emotionally scared for life, living the rest of my years afraid to love..I want my mommy![quietly] Or Jimmy's mom.
Toady:[to Jimmy] Is he always like this?
Sheen: You don't know the half of it, trust me.
*The sounds of kids arriving outside are in background*
Toady: I better get a jump on waking up Toad. Where is the restroom?
Jimmy: At the front doors, it will be on your left.
*She leaves room. Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen watch her go.*
Jimmy: Toady Conrade. Interesting, very interesting.
Sheen: Well, I think anyone who can come up with a great name like Bologna Boy can't be so bad.
Carl: Jimmy, are you going to finish checking all the name tags?
Jimmy: Nah, I doubt there are any more new students. Lets go guys.
*When they get to the door Toady reappears with her hat full of water*
Jimmy: Nah, I doubt there are any more new
students. Lets go
*When they get to the door Toady reappears with her hat full of water*
Toady:[in a upper-crusty English accent]Excuse me,*squeezes by them* Are you chaps leaving right now?
Sheen: Maybe, who want s to know and why?
Toady: Um, me 'cause I just want to know.
Sheen: Riiiiiiiiight. Are You sure it's not because your a blood thirsty alien wanting to conquer Retroville and eventually the world. And You just putting up seemingly nice fronts that will gain the trust of everyone in town except Jimmy making him appear to be a paranoid, big headed-
Jimmy: We get the picture!
Toady: Last time I checked that wasn't on my schedule, but because I like you...er, what's your name?
Toady: Because I like you, Sheen, I'll check again.*takes a hand held out of a pocket in her overalls and pushes a few buttons* Nope, no taking over the world in here…Wait! What does that say? Nope! Now, to finish some unfinished business.*Turns to Toad and throws the water in her hat on him*
Toad:*cough* *cough* *sputter* *rolls on to his back and opens his eyes*
Toady :That's it, Toad. Cough it out!
Carl: He's not dead! He's not dead! Yeah!!!*runs up to Toad, picks him up, and gives him a bear hug. Toad's eyes bulge and looks pleadingly at Toady*
Toady: Okay, enough hugging, Gentle Ben.
* Carl drops Toad on the floor and Toad starts gasping for air*
Toady: Toad, stop the drama and get up! He didn't squeeze you that hard.*Toad stares at her* Or maybe he did. Anyhow, I believe introductions are in order. Toad, I'd like ya to meet Jimmy, Sheen, and pale kid.
Carl: Um, my name is Carl.
Toady: and Carl.
Sheen: Waz up, Homie!
Jimmy: It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Toad.
Toad:*stares blankly at them*
Toady: Remember, the people issues.
Carl: Oh yeah.
Sheen: Riiiiiiiight. And you're sure it not because he's really a blood thirsty alien who-
Toady: Yes, Sheen, I'm sure.
Toady: What was that?
Jimmy: The first bell. School is gonna officially start in a few minutes.
Sheen: School can't start yet! I still need to wax the halls!
Jimmy: Too bad, Education stops for no one!
Carl: Except snow days, and principal
Toady: This is going to be a very interesting year.
Eustace: Hello, is this the office of Dr. O'mally?
calling to inquire about your orthodontia programs. What?!? You can't
put me on
hold! Perhaps you fail to understand I am Eustace Strych, the
in Retroville. I'm going to put you on hold, you bratty dolt?!?!? You
talk to me like that, pathetic middle class person! That's it! I don't
this! I swear that I will buy the land your little business sits on and
raise the rent so high you won't be able to pay. Let's see how quick
you are to
insult me then lowly telephone receptionist! *Slams down phone* Oh, I
being filthy rich. *Suddenly two tough looking security guys enter
extremely shaken* What do you want? I was in the middle of basking in
guy#1: Sorry to disturb you, sir, but there is a girl outside wanting to see you.
Eustace: A girl to see me? *runs fingers through hair* I mean of course, a girl to see me.
guy#2: But Mr. Strych, this is no regular girl. She is dressed in a black skin-tight suit.
guy#1: Kind of like a wetsuit.
guy#2: Yeah, and over her suit is a flowing black cloak with a hood that covers most of her face.
guy#1: Every now and then, when she lifts her head high enough, you see her eyes. And her eyes occasionally glint red.
guy#2: Just like he said, they turn redish; and quite simply sir, it's freakin' us out!
guy#1: What should we tell her, Mr. Strych. Better make it quick. She said she would only wait so long before she used force.
Eustace: Red eyes and black clothes, you say? Hmmmm...tell her-
????:[voice coming from behind Eustace] No body move unless I say so.
Eustace: *bites his lip as he feels a heavy cloak material brush against his leg*
????: Tell those two bumbling idiots you call security to leave the room.
Eustace:[voice is shaking and cracking] Y-y-you two le-le-leave now.
guy#1: Freely and gladly! Lets go!
guy#2: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!!!*both run away as fast as they can*
????: Take a seat, Eustace Strych.
Eustace:*walks numbly over to a chair and sits down*
????:*emerges from shadows and sits down in chair across from Eustace. She lift up her head revealing blonde and black hair tucked behind her ears and sparkling blues that began to turn slightly redish*
Eustace:*Eyes widen as realization dawns*DarkBeauty! Oh my goodness! You're known through out the villain community as a the most accomplished, stone cold, expensive, and professional evil agent ever. This is an honor indeed! And might I add-
DarkBeauty: You talk far too much. I'm here on an important assignment.
Eustace:*gulp* You are?
DarkBeauty: Yes, I'm looking for information on my current target, and I believe that you can give me some of that information.
Eustace: I will help you to the best of my ability.
DarkBeauty: Uh, huh. My target is Jimmy Neutron.
Eustace:*smiles*Jimmy Neutron, eh.*chuckles* What do you want to know?
Dark: Does he have any unusual traits or habits?
Eusatce: He's a genius and invents all kinds of things, like his robotic dog, but he doesn't take his dog to school. He also has a laboratory. That’s his main weapon.
DarkBeauty: But is there a person who can be used as "leverage" against him? A girl for example.
Eustace: No one comes to mind. Wait...yes, yes, there is one person.
DarkBeauty:*a smile slowly spreads across her face as she listens and her eyes turn a deep red*
Toad: Thanks, really owe you one!
Toady: I'll remember that.
Ms.Fowl: Are there any questions? BRAAAAWK! *Toad walks up to her and pulls on her skirt* Oh, What is it, TONNY? [Writer's Note:Toad's real name is Tonny] *Toad whispers something in her ear* You need to use the restroom? *Toad noddes* Well, here's a
MJ: Thank you, Ms., er, Fowl. That isn't a name you come in contact with everyday.
Toady: And that's not a nose you come in contact with everyday, either. Ha! Ha! Ha!
MJ: Don't be rude. Anyway, my name is Monica Jean Conrade, but everyone calls me MJ.
All boys: [dreamily] Hi, MJ.
Toady: That was freaky.
MJ: Um, I'm 11 years-old, a major bookworm, and have a knack for learning languages. I hope to have a career as an ambassador and interpreter in foreign countries. I also love to act, sing, and dance.
Jimmy: I think it would be cool to travel around the world.
Carl: Well, I think it's cooler than however cool you think it is.
Butch: I think it's cooler than both of you and I can pound ya to a pulp.
Sheen: Why must I be taken? Why?!?
Cindy: What's the big deal? She's just a girl.
*The room becomes dead silent and Jimmy turns to Cindy*
Jimmy: What did you say?
Cindy: She's just a girl. That's all Nerdtron and you other pathetic drool monkeys.
Butch: Get her!
Toady: A fight! Alright!!! Where's a concession stand when you need one?
MJ: STOP!!!! !*All activity ceases* Look, I'm flattered, but-
Cindy: Don't be! This is all your falt! If you hadn't come waltzing in here like something special, none of this would have happened!
Jimmy: Shut up, Vortex! Let the lady talk.
Ms.Fowl: CLASS!!! Please, let’s move on. BRAWK!
Toady: It's about time. Hiya, losers! My name is Toady Conrade.
Ms.Fowl: ExCUSE ME, but could you state your REAL name.
Toady:*reaches into pocket and takes out a $50* How about $50 and we forget the name.
Ms.Fowl:*snatches the $50* BRAAAAAAAWK!!! Please continue, Toady.
Toady: I knew you would see it my way. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, my name is Toady Conrade and I am a fiery, sarcastic, rude 4 year-old psychiatrist.
Cindy:[to Libby] Well, at least she isn't in denial.
Toady: I can also imitate almost any voice, accent, or sound.
Jimmy: Yeah right. That's practically impossible taken into consideration your age and the development of your vocal cords.
Toady:[in Jimmy's voice] Well, I've proved a lot of experts and their textbooks wrong.
Carl: Wow! Can you mimic my voice?
Toady:[in Carl's voice] Sure can.
Sheen: That's is so cool! Do me, Toady! Do me!
Toady: I don't know, Sheen.
Sheen: Please! It has been my life long dream to be minced!
Cindy: It's mimicked, Ultradork.
Cindy: What do you mean, what?
Sheen: I donno? You said what first.
Cindy: No, you said what first, or is your memory as bad as your grades?
Toady:*snif* Does anyone else smell smoke? 'Cause you just got burned!
Ms.Fowl: Settle down, CLASS! Now, to help our new STUDENTS get used to their new ENVIROMENT, I will be assigning-*Toad walks into the classroom* Tonny, just in time. I would like you to tell the class-
Ms.Fowl: Yes? Brawk!
Toady: That's a, er, beautiful, um, brooch you've got there.
Ms.Fowl: Oh, yes, my great-grandma GAVE IT TO ME at me first bird show. Those were the days. BRAAAAAAWK!!! I was so young. So, innocent.*stares dreamily into space for awhile* Oh, where was I? I forgot.
Toady: You were telling us about assigning something.
Ms.Fowl: Thank you, TOADY! BRAAAAAWWK!!!
Toad:*smiles at Toady and mouths "Thanks"*
Toady:*mouths "Your welcome" back*
Ms.Fowl: I will be assigning each of our NEW
mentor for this week. At the end of the WEEK the new STUDENTS and their
will give a report on what they have LEARNED from each OTHER!
will the MJ, Toady, and TOAD please come up here and draw a NAME out of
Jimmy: Please let me get MJ! Please let me get MJ!
Cindy: Please don't let Jimmy get MJ! Please don't let Jimmy get MJ!
Carl: Please let me get MJ, but still love Judy! Please let me get MJ, but still love Judy!
Sheen: Please let UltraLord come on soon! Please let UltraLord come on soon! *Looks over at Libby* And let me get MJ.
Libby: Did you just use me and MJ in the same sentence?
Sheen: No!!! Maybe. So, what if I did? You aren't the boss of me!!! I bet you couldn't give me five reasons why you would be the boss of me.
Libby: Oh, I have five. 126.96.36.199.5! *hand forms a fist*
Sheen: I understand, my master
*Toady, Toad, MJ each take a slip of paper out of a hat Ms.Fowl is holding*
MJ: No way!
Toad:*Eyes get really wide and faints*
Toady:*wakes up from a nap, startled* Huh? What was that?
Ms.Fowl: The lunch bell.
Toady: You guys have a bell for everything, don't you. I don't think I can take this.
Ms.Fowl: Toady, Toad, and MJ, Principal
*Everyone leaves the classroom. Out in the halls Cindy is putting away her books with Libby*
Libby: Look on the bright side, girl. At least she didn't end up with Jimmy.
Cindy: Yeah, but still, why do I have to mentor little Miss Walk-in-slow-motion-with-background-music- swinging-my-oh-so-beautiful-hair.
Libby: That would be hard to fit on a name tag.
Jimmy: Man! Why did Vortex have to be MJ's mentor? She doesn't even like her. It is a prime example of casting the proverbial pearls before swine. Where as with me, it would be like handing a precious jewel to a highly esteemed jeweler.
Carl: Okay wait, who's the swine? Because I've seen you eat and-*Jimmy gives him the evil eye* Uh, Toady should be an interesting person to mentor.
Jimmy: But she's no MJ.
Sheen: At least she talks. I had to get the O' Silent One. How lame will that make my report at the end of the week! It'll just say: Toad is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very quiet person. The End.
Jimmy: But all your reports pretty much sound like that.
Sheen: I pride myself on consistency.
*Toady, Toad, and MJ are walking to the cafeteria*
MJ: I can't believe I got stuck with Cindy. I can already tell she hates me.
Toady: Yes, but the real question is why?
Toad: She has a point. Exactly why would she get so uptight?
MJ: Because she's jealous that all the boys were paying attention to me.
Toady: But why would she care that all the boys liked you, unless there is a certain boy of which she desires affection.
MJ: Uh huh. Anyway, back to me, I wish I could have gotten Jimmy. He is hot!
Toad: *coughs and shifts uncomfortably*
MJ: And those eyes!
Toad:*more coughing and uncomfortable shifting *
MJ: I could just drown in those big, blue eyes!
Toad:*hacking and glaring angrily at MJ*
Toady: MJ, could you-
???: Watch out! *the 3 of them crash into the 4th person. Papers go flying everywhere*
Toady: Oh, my aching back.
MJ: We are sooo sorry! We weren't looking where we were going.
Toady: Nope, you were too busy carrying on about Jimmy and his eyes.
???: Jimmy? I take it your talking about Jimmy Neutron.
MJ: How did you know? Oh, I think these are yours.*picks up a pair of oversized sunglasses laying on the floor*
Amy:*gasps, reaches up, and touches her face*Yes, those are mine!
MJ: Well, here.
Amy:*snatches the glasses keeping her eyes down* Thank you, and I'm sorry for running into you.
MJ: Oh, think nothing-*Amy jumps up and continues to run in the direction she was originally going*...of it.
Toad: I wonder where she's going?
MJ: Well, I'm going to the cafeteria. Come on, guys.
Toad:*groan*I can't believe got Sheen as a mentor! This is going to be a loooooong week.
Toady's thoughts: Who was that girl? And was it just me or did her eyes look kind of reddish?
*Jimmy, Cindy, Carl, Sheen, and Libby are all
sitting at a
table inside the cafeteria*
Jimmy: Sheen, you can't stay here forever. It's your duty as his mentor to sit next to him.
Sheen: But I need to tell you one more thing-
Carl: You've already told us all your favorite UltraLord catch phrases, most embarrassing moments, favorite UltraLord episodes, your favorite moments in your favorite episodes, your favorite memories, your least favorite memories, your distant childhood memories-
Cindy: Basically, we're tired of listening to you talk, Freak of the Galaxy. Just go!
Sheen:*sticks his tongue out at Cindy*
Libby: Please, Sheen?*bats her eyes*
Sheen:*Tries to puts on a "brave face", but just ends up looking like a diluted frog * I will go and face the perils of boredom with dignity and pride *tries to put on a "brave smile" but continues to look like a diluted frog*...right after I tell you that one thing-
Sheen: Alright, Dang!*stand up huffily and walks to the deserted corner of the cafeteria where Toad is sitting eating in, what else, silence*
Sheen: Wuz up, Toad! How's it going?
Toad:*stares in silence*
Sheen: Have you ever heard of UltraLord?
Sheen: It's is the best show ever created on the face on the earth!!! *sighs dreamily*
Toad:*more of the same*
Sheen: So, you don't believe me, eh.
Toad:*Well, you know the drill*
Sheen: Well than, Mr. Skeptical, I guess I'll have to begin my extremely looooong explanation on the magnitude and magnificence of this particular television program. UltraLord is the bestest superhero ever! He is very, very, very, very, very, very*continues to blab on about UltrLord*
Toad:*looks away and winces*
Toady:*approaches Jimmy*Can I sit here?
Jimmy: Sure, I guess.*Toady sits across from him*
Carl: Um, Toady, can I ask you a question?
Toady: Knock yourself out.
Carl: Uh, okay.*forms his hand into a fist and prepares to hit himself*
Jimmy: No, Carl!*grabs his hand* It's just an expression.
Carl: Oh, Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha**snort**Sorry.
Toady:*closes her eyes* Just ask the question.
Carl: Why do you wear a really big hat that looks like a mushroom cup?
Toady: It was a gift to me on my 3rd birthday from a, uh, good inventor friend of mine.
Jimmy: Why would an inventor invent a hat?
Toady: Ha! This is no ordinary hat. It is virtually weightless, can transform into a rocket powered skateboard, and can ricochet off practically any substance!
Cindy: Well, it sure beats the pant off some of your inventions you, Spewtron.
Toady: He is a very good inventor.
Jimmy:*glares at Cindy for a second* Incredible! How did you become acquainted with him?
Toady: He's, uh, a relative.
Jimmy: Do you think that, maybe, I could meet him?
Toady: NO!!! He's really not a people person.
Jimmy: Please!?! I promise not to talk too much.
Cindy: Ha! Ha! Ha! Are you kidding? You and rambling go together like Peanut butter and Jelly.
Toady: Trust me,*glances over at Toad* He is REALLY not a people person.
Jimmy: Too bad.*opens a can of soda and takes a gulp of it* BUUURRRRRP!
Carl: Yeah, Jimmy! *Both start laughing*
Carl:*drinks some of his soda*BUUUUURRRRRRRRP!*They both laugh again*
Libby: You guys are a bunch of-
*They all turns to face her and stares for awhile. Then they start laughing*
Jimmy: Oh, yeah? Well watch this!*drinks more soda* BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRP!!
Carl: I can easily top that.*drinks some soda* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP!!!
Toady: Woo-Who!*drink soda* BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRP!!!
Jimmy: You know that's right!
Carl: Way to burp, Toady! *They all high five each other*
MJ:*Walks up to the table* Hi, is this table full?
MJ:*looks at both of them weird*...er...
Jimmy:*glaring at Cindy* You can sit down here*indicates the seat next to him*
Carl:*glaring at Jimmy* No, you can sit next to me.
Jimmy:*looks surprised then throws Carl a glowering looking* The seat next to me is just fine, Carl.
Carl: Why would she want to seat next to you, Big-head.
Jimmy: I should ask you the same question, Wide-girth.
Carl:**gasp** Oh, you've done it now!*they continue to argue and call each other lame names*
Libby:*rolls her eyes* Come on, MJ, you can sit by me.
MJ: Thanks!*smiles and sit down next to Libby*
Cindy:*Grabs Libby's shirt* Libby!
Cindy: How could you invite her to sit next to us?
Libby: First of all, I invited her to sit next to me, not you. Secondly, you need to get over yourself. She is a very pretty girl and maybe if you hadn't been so mean to Jimmy all these years he wouldn't be as distracted by her now.
Cindy: But, I...I mean, you can't...It's just, just, just-
Libby: Just what?
Cindy:*continues to stumble over her words doing a pretty good imitation of Porky Pig*
Libby: It's true and you can't deny it.
Cindy:*opens her mouth as if to say something then closes it*
MJ:*giggling* That was so classy.
Toady: Why don't you take a whack at it?*Thrusts a soda can towards MJ*
MJ: No, I couldn't.
Toady: Please, MJ? You haven't openly burped since you were 9.
MJ: No, it just wouldn't be...*voice drifts off*
Toady:*Makes the 2nd most adorable-big-eyed-puppy-dog-face*
MJ: Not the puppy dog face!
Toady:*continues to make "the face"*
MJ:*snatches the soda can* Fine!
Toady: Yes![to Jimmy&Carl] MJ is the ultimate burping connoisseur. Just sit back and watch a professional in action.
MJ:*delicately opens the can, takes a little sip, swirls it around in her mouth, swallows, and nods*
Cindy:[with an exasperated tone] Just burp already![to herself] I can't believe I just said that.
MJ:*dramatically picks up the can of soda and looks around the room. Toady is smiling triumphantly; Jimmy looks as if he is in love; Carl looks scared; Cindy looks annoyed and slightly jealous; Libby looks fascinated; Sheen, at his table, still looks like a diluted frog; and Toad, also at Sheen's table, looks as if he is in mental pain. MJ lifts the can to her lips and pauses*
Cindy: Can you speed this up, Julia Roberts? I do have a life, you know.
MJ:*Gives her a look and tips back the can. After taking a gulp she puts the can down with a, extremely focused face. Her eyes snap open and:*
MJ: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
*The entire room sits dumbfounded. After awhile someone in the back of the cafeteria starts to clap, then someone else joins in, and someone else, and another person, and another, and another until the entire cafeteria is on their feet, cheering and whooping more than a football lover at the superbowl. Cheesy inspirational happy starts to play*
Toady: I love this thing.*pats a giant boombox sitting next to her on the table and turns up the volume*
*Cindy, Jimmy, Carl, Libby, Sheen, Toad, Toady,
and MJ are
sitting in the
Amy:*grinds her teeth in frustration* Hello?
Dr.Spok: What is taking so long?
Amy: I had to stay after school to help grade papers. You’re lucky I escaped this early!
Dr.Spok: Well, hurry up. I'm not paying you $500,000 to sit around and clean chalk boards.
Amy:**sigh of exasperation**I suppose imbeciles like you don't understand how these things work, but at least try to realize that I am good at what I do because I make sure every little thing is covered. Furthermore, that Eustace Strych gave me false information. Jimmy doesn't seem to be swayed toward Cindy's opinions at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. Whatever she says he seems determined to disagree.
Dr.Spok: What does that mean?
Amy: That means I have to observe him carefully just to make sure, but from the short time I was there he seemed extremely attracted to another girl named MJ.
Dr.Spok: How long will this observation period take?
Amy: About 24 hrs to finish observing and then make further plans if my net comes up dry. So I'd say about 48 hrs.
Dr.Spok:48 HOURS!!! You're going fishing?
Drew:[yelling from afar] I wanna go fishing!
Dr.Spok: Drew, shouldn't you be washing windows or testing deadly acids on your skin?
Drew: But the window cleaner is making my eyes hurt.
Dr.Spok: Fine, you can take a break.
Drew: Can I go to John's Incredible Pizza?
Drew: Yes! See ya, Dr.Spok.
Drew: I mean, your supreme evilness.
Dr.Spoke: That's better. Oh, and bring me back some pepperoni pizza!
Drew:*voice fading* Okay.
Dr.Spok: And some chocolate chip cookies if you can find any!
Drew:*voice continues to fade* Sure thing.
Dr.Spok: Oh goody!*giggles*
Amy: O-kay...I hate to pull you away from your cookie inspired fantasies, but I have a job to do.
Dr.Spok: Hm? Oh right, the, er, job. How's this, If you complete this little assignment in 24 hrs or less than I will double your pay.
Amy:*smiles evilly* I'll call you back tomorrow.*hangs up* I don't have very much time. Lets just hope that my little hunch is correct.*looks inside at the kids all talking and looking innocent* Well, I do feel like a milkshake and maybe*evil chuckle* a little game of Truth or Dare.*Behind the oversized sunglasses Amy's, or should I say DarkBeauty's, eyes turned an even deeper red*
Toady:*takes a big bite out of a pickle* Mmmmmmmmmmm. That sure hits the spot.
Cindy: I cannot believe you ordered a plate of whole pickles.
Toady:[sarcastically] Yeah, your two scoops of pecan ripple sound a ot more appetizing.
Amy:*walks up to them with a pistachio milkshake* Hi, can I sit here?
Toady: Knock yourself out.
Carl: But not really; It's just an expression.
*There is a chorus of annoyed sighs; rolling of eyes; shaking of heads; and in Toad's case, blank stares in Carl's direction*
Amy:*sits down and fiddles with something under the table* Anyone, up for a game of Truth or Dare?
Toady: The heartless game where the participants make people reveal their deep and very personal outlooks on life or perform stupid and embarrassing stunts, making them appear to be crack jobs, all for the sick amusement of complete strangers and themselves? I'm in.
Cindy: Me too.
Libby: Me three.
Sheen: Me six.
All:*look at him in disbelief*
Sheen: What? Don't you know how to count to ten?
Cindy Of course we do, but you need to practice for a while.*Libby&Cindy laugh*
Jimmy:[nervously] MJ, can talk to you for second...alone .
Cindy:*looks up wide-eyed and starts to choke on what's in her mouth*
Libby:*hitting Cindy on the back* Oh my gosh! Breathe, Cindy, breathe!
Carl:*mutters darkly under his breath*
Toady: Go, Jimmy! Go, Jimmy!
Cindy:*continues to cough until a piece of waffle cone flies out of her mouth and lands in the middle of the table*
Jimmy:*wrinkles his nose in disgust*
MJ:*looking sympathetically at the now red Cindy* Lets talk outside.*they get up walk outside*
Toady:*starring at the piece of soggy waffle cone on the table* That's just sick.
Sheen:*takes Carl's spoon and pokes the piece of chewed up cone in fascination and puts it back in Carl's Sundae before he can notice.*
Cindy:*stares after them with her mouth hanging and slumps down in her seat with an angry/pouty/jealous expression plastered on her face*
Libby: Do you think we should start playing without them?
Cindy: Why wait? I don't stop my life for bratty, little, beauty queens and stuck-up, show-offy, pig-headed, boy-genius jerks.
Carl: I second that! Except for the part about MJ.
Amy: No, we have to wait.
Amy: Because I'm going first and my dare is for Jimmy.
Cindy*rolls her eyes* Fine.
Toady:*eyeing Cindy suspiciously* So, Cindy, are you feeling all right?
Cindy:[slightly nervous] Why do you ask?
Toady: Because just a minute ago you looked either like a constipated dog or a tad, oh I dunno, jealous, perhaps?
Cindy: Wh-what? Me, jealous? No, no, no, no , no. I mean, why would I be jealous of MJ talking alone with Spewtron?
Toady: I asked myself that question and could only get one answer. Do you want to know what it is?
Cindy:Well, er, actually, I , um...
*Jimmy&MJ walk back in smiling, laughing, and generally just looking like the perfect couple*
Jimmy: Guess what, guys.
Cindy:[mockingly enthuseastic] What?!
MJ: Jimmy has asked me to the dance.
Carl&Cindy: What!*Cindy accidentally drops her
ice cream on Libby' lap*
Libby:**gasp of surprise** Eww.
Cindy: Libby, I am sooooo sorry! So, so, so sorry!
Libby:*picks up the melting cone and gives it back to Cindy* It's okay. Accidents happen.
Toady: Not usually twice in a row, but they happen all the same.
Libby:*stands up and walks toward the bathroom* You guys start the game without me. I'm going to try to clean up.
Toady: Yeah, use soap and warm water. The ice cream should come out easily. Don't worry, it'll be fine.
Jimmy: It's not coming out, is it?
Sheen: My Poor Libbykins, having to walk around with a giant pecan ripple stain on her lap. Yuck!
Cindy:*groans and slouches as low as she can in her seat*
MJ:*giving Cindy an even more sympathetic look* Why don't we start the game?
Amy: Good idea. I'll go first. Uh...Jimmy, truth or dare?
Amy: Okay, you have to stomp around on the table top for 3 minutes.
Jimmy: I'm not going to do that!
Amy: Why not?
Jimmy: Because there's a bunch of upper graders in here, even some high schoolers.
Amy: Oh, I get it. You're just scared.
Jimmy: I-I-I...*hangs head in shame*
Amy: *shakes her head disapprovingly* That's problem with boy nowadays; they just don't got no guts. Don't you agree, MJ.
MJ: Not really.
Amy:*throws her arm around MJ warmly* Come on, all girls seek a knight in shining armor. The brave boy who is not afraid of anything and all that. At least deep down in their hearts, right?
MJ: Uh, I guess so.
Jimmy:*jumps up and climbs onto the table*
Amy: Now, start stomping really, really hard in the center. Really make a racket!
Jimmy:*starts to stomp around, but only after a few hard stomps, the table creaks and collapses with Jimmy still on top. The cracked wood falling on the never cleaned floor sends a multitude of dust bunnies into the air*
MJ: MY JIMMY!!!
Cindy: MY CLOTHES!!!
Sam: MY TABLE!!! Yeah.
Carl: MY SCAPULA!!!
Sheen: MY SUNDAE!!!
*the dust settles, everyone is sitting on the ground moaning and groaning. Everyone that is, except Jimmy. He is lying motionless on the floor and doing a very good job of not breathing*
Libby:*walks out of the bathroom with the giant ice cream stain still on her pants* Whoa, it looks like someone dared Sheen to destroy the entire booth in here. And it looks like he succeeded
*A teenager with golden blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail and blue eyes wearing a flared miniskirt with the uniform red & white striped shirt, toping in all off with rollerskates (yes, real rollerskates) skates up to the booth*
Lily: Um, excuse me, but my boss said that, like, you kids need to clean up this mess, leave, and, like, never come back. He actually worded it different, but I'm, like, a lady.
Carl:*shaking Jimmy* Jimmy? Jimmy?!? Please, Jimmy! Please wake up!! I'm sorry I was mean to you!!! I'm so sorry!!! *lifts his hands up and wails loudly*
Carl:*wipes away a tear* Thanks.
Amy: Is he...dead?
Lily:*glares at Jimmy in disgust* Okay, like, ew.
Toad:*puts two fingers on Jimmy's neck*
Toady: Well, do you feel a pulse?
Toad:*smiles and nods*
Cindy: Too bad.
Libby: He must be unconscious.
Sheen: I say we shove Carl's armpit in his face. It could work as a smelling salt.
Lily:*drops a glass of water (the water and the glass) on Jimmy's head*
Jimmy:*sits up rubbing his head* Ow! What the-
Sheen: Or we could do that.
Sam:[to Lily] I thought I told you to get those kids cleaning, yeah.
Lily: I did, but they thought the guy with the freakishly large head was dead.
Sam: Well, you can just help them clean up then, or your fired!
Lily: *analyzing her finger nails*[distractedly] Whatever.
Sam: This is the last time I hire a teenager, yeah.*stomps off in a huff*
Jimmy:*stumbles to his feet* I guess we better get started.
Sheen: Wait, where's sunglass girl?
Libby: She must have snuck out.
Cindy:[under her breath] lazy bum.
*Cindy has just gotten her food and is looking for a table. Libby, who is at the table with everyone else, sees her and waves cheerfully, motioning her come and sit with them. Cindy looks happy at first, but then hangs her head sadly and walks out of the cafe with her tray*
Libby: Cindy? Now where is she going?
MJ: She looked pretty down.
Sheen: Are you going to go talk to here?
Libby: She did not look like she was in the mood for talking, trust me.
Cindy's thoughts: I don't know what's going on. I
she said it would be harmless. I can't sit with them knowing what I
just can't.*walks out the back door of the school and into the
when she's about to sit on the merry-go-round, she sees Toad eating
Cindy:*walks up to him* Can I sit here?
Toad:*looks up at her, silently*
Cindy:[uncomfortably] O-kay*sits down beside him*
Cindy: You're probably wondering why I'm out here instead of inside.
Cindy: Well, too bad 'cause I don't want to talk about it.
*They both eat in silence for a minute or two*
Cindy: I mean it. I really don't want to talk. So, don't even think about asking.
Toad:*stares into space, still eating silently*
Cindy: You wouldn't understand. It's way too confusing.
Cindy: But then again...
Toad:*gives her a quizzical look*
Cindy: Fine, I'll tell you, but only because you refuse to leave me alone about it! Now, what I'm about to tell you is top secret; you can't tell anyone. You aren't planning on talking any time soon are you?
Toad:*throws her a tiny reassuring smile*
Cindy: Okay, ever since Jimmy moved here, I've had a secret crush on him. I know, I know, it's weird, but I still like him. So, don't take this personally, but ever since your sister, MJ, came here I've been feeling especially jealous. You know how it is.
Toad:*more blank staring*
Cindy: Right. Then there was the whole thing about them going to the dance together as well as my choking on waffle cone and dropping an entire ice cream on Libby's lap. And well, I was mad at him. Libby was right, if I hadn't been so mean to him all these year then maybe I would be the one going with him to the dance. I wouldn't even be in this mess. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I was extremely mad at Jimmy earlier today because of the whole-asking-MJ-to-the-dance thing. So, when Amy asked me if I could give her some info on Jimmy's locker, I told her everything. I didn't know she was going to hurt him, embarrass maybe, but not hurt. I still can't help feeling guilty. Should have asked Amy more about the prank.*looks at her feet for awhile*
Cindy:*looks up* Wait a minute! Why would Amy want to get rid of Jimmy? And I do remember seeing her fiddling with stuff under the table at the Candy Bar. What if she's an evil agent who was hired to...Oh, man! If I tell anybody she'll probably come after me, too. Oh, decisions, decisions.*paces back and forth; Toad, all the while, staring* No, I'll tell Jimmy anyway. Even if it means I have to admit I like him. Besides, he can probably uses one of inventions to take care or this whole thing. Yes, I'll do it! Thanks for your help, Toad.*runs back into the school*
Toad:*watches her go then starts eating again.* The kids at this school are so weird.
Cindy:*sprinting down the deserted halls* Where is he?*hears a racket coming from a classroom and runs toward the noise*
Cindy:*sees a pair of sunglasses lying near the entryway of a classroom.* Amy.*picks up the glasses and steps into the entryway of the classroom.*
Cindy: What in the world?!? *sees MJ, Carl, Toady, and Libby lying scattered on one side of the room. Now that DarkBeauty doesn't have on her glasses, all can see her red eyes*
DarkBeauty:*holding Jimmy by his shirt up against the wall* Neutron**evil chuckle** you're mine!
DarkBeauty:*standing in the middle of the deserted
That's it, no more subtle hints. I'm going to do this job the old
way.*hears Jimmy and co. approaching* Ah, right on cue.*steps in their
Sheen: Yo, sunglass girl! Whatz up? *tries to walk past her* we're just trying to, er...
DarkBeauty: You're not going anywhere.
Jimmy: Yes, we are. Do you need a hall pass or something 'cause I've got one right here.
DarkBeauty:*takes the slip and tears it in half* Access Denied.*dives at them*
Toady:*grabs her ankles, puling her back in the air*
DarkBeauty: Ugh!*sunglasses fly off revealing her red eyes*
Sheen: Whoa! That just majorly freaked me out.
DarkBeauty:*kicks Jimmy into a nearby classroom*
Libby: Flying Hammer jump!*jumps in the air and land right on top of DB (DarkBeauty). DB is winded, but still manages to fling Libby into the classroom as well*
Sheen: Libby!*runs in after her*
*Toady takes off her mushroom cap hat and throws it at DB. It hits DB in the head and sends her stumbling into the classroom. The hat ricochets off her head comes back to Toady's waiting hands.*
Toady: That's what I'm talking about!*lets out an Indian war cry and runs headlong into the classroom. Much more fighting ensues, which this particular author is too lazy to describe. But just when Jimmy's side has the upper hand, DarkBeauty takes out a small, round object, closes her eyes and throws it up in the air. As everyone else looks up at the object, Sheen jumps on her back. Suddenly the object explodes and a brilliant light fills the room. When the light subsides, DarkBeauty throws Sheen to other side of the room. After he lands, debris falls around him, obscuring him from view. The others are still staring upwards, swaying dangerously until they fall over*
DarkBeauty:*picks up the stunned Jimmy* Pretty cool, huh. They’re called stun bombs; anyone who sees the flash is stunned for at least 20 minutes.*smiles wickedly* Neutron**evil chuckle** you’re mine!
*End flashback*Cindy: Amy!* DarkBeauty spins around to see Cindy standing in the doorway* I know what your trying to do.
*back in Retroville at the Candy Bar*
Toad:*wrinkles his nose at the foul odor*
Sheen: Lily? Lily?!?!
Lily: You, like, want something else?
Sheen: A double chocolate milkshake. Extra Large.
Libby: Fine. Do you want me to, like, clear your 7 other milkshake glasses or maybe, like, your 5 sundae dishes.
Sheen: Whatever. BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRPP!!!!
Lily: Sick! Can I get you, like, a breath mint or something? It'll be on, like, the house.
Sheen: I'm still waiting for my milkshake!
Lily; I'm, like, going.*skates away*
Toady: Do you always deal with things like this?
Sheen:*looks up in amazement* Toad...you just talked!
Toad: I know, now answer my question.
Sheen: Which one?
Toad: Do you always deal with things like this; by eating yourself into a sugar induced coma?
Sheen:*thinks for a second* Yep.
*Toad looks upward, as if seeking further patience from beyond. After a long period of silence, he perks up as if something had just dawned on him*
Toad: Sheen, what color were Amy's eyes?
Sheen: Of course, how could I forget the eyes?
Toad: Because you were eating massive amounts of sugar in an astoundingly short time.
Toad: What color were the eyes?
Toad:*smiles* Come on, Sheen, I know how to find the others.*grabs his arm and pulls him outside.*
Lily:*sees them leave and their receipt lying beside her* I have to give them their receipt or I won't get paid for their, like, business.*grabs the receipt and skates after them* Wait! Like, come back!
*Toad takes out his cellphone*
Sheen: Who are you calling?
Sheen:*laughs* No, seriously, who are you calling?
Phone: Password accepted. Transportation beam will activate in 5...
Lily:*comes bursting out of the
Toad: What?*turns to see Amy skating towards them as fast as she can*
Lily: You forgot your receipt!
Toad: Ahhhhh!!! Don't come any closer!
*not a second after Lily, reaches them a green beam comes out of the sky and sucks them into a ship far above.*
Lily: And we can, like, waltz up and just demand to see him?
Captain: "The boss" will only see a few special people, and even then it has to be a matter of life or death.*gives Toad a skeptical look*
Toad:*gives him a "I know what I'm doing" look in return*
*They pass through a pair of huge chrome doors into a large room with chrome floors, chrome walls, and a tremendously high chrome ceiling. There is virtually no furniture, save two snow white couches and large desk up against the back wall. Sitting at the desk is a woman who looks some where between the ages of 18 and 22. She has straight, brown hair pulled up into a bun; blue eyes; freckles; and dimples*
Katie:*looks up from some paper work* Oh, hello Captain Jameson.*leans over the desk until she can see Toad* It's nice to see you again, Toad.
Toad:*smiles shyly back*
Katie: Let me see if the director can see you.*picks up the receiver of a black telephone and pushes a few buttons* Hello, Director. There's a Mr. Tonny Conrade and his friends here to see you. Shall I send them in? I'll walk them over. Good Bye. *stands up and walks out from behind the desk* If you would please follow me, the director will see you know.*they all follow her down a few chrome tunnel-like passage ways*
Sheen: So, what's "the boss" like?
Katie: Well, "the boss" can be slightly sarcastic, and may seem quite intimidating at times, oh, and is not the "your job should be one big happy joke" kid of person. And definitely DO NOT interrupt at anytime. You don't want to get "the boss's" bad side.
Sheen: Boy, He sure does sound like a joy to have at a party.
Lily: Do you really think so? 'cause I was thinking the exact opposite. This guy sounds like such a party pooper.
Sheen: Your really dim, Lily.
Lily:*checking her complexion in a compact* I'm sorry did you, like, say something?
*they arrive at a pair of chrome French doors*
Katie: Here we are. Now, Lily, Sheen, this is your first time meeting the director. A word of advice, don't embarrass yourself, get "the boss" angry, or do anything stupid.
Sheen: I will do as UltraLord commanded in UltraLord episode 159; UltraLord Meets the Mafia," Remember kids, never upset 'the boss'."
Lily:*waves her hand dismissively while making goo-goo eyes at Otto* Whatever.
Katie: Very well then.*swings open the doors dramatically. Inside, the office looks like a dimly lit conference room with gray-speckled walls, black marble floors, and a long chrome table going exactly down the center of the room. On each side of the table are big, cushy, black swivel chairs*
Katie: Director, the visitors are here to see you.*the chair at the head of the table, which is significantly larger, turns slowly. The person in the chair is a woman in her early 30s with jet black hair pulled into a braided bun, green eyes that seemed to flash at them, and smug expression on her face; kind of like she had a battle of wits with someone and won.*
Miss Noire: Hello again, Mr. Conrade.
Sheen: You're a girl?!?!
*back in the with the others, Toady is bouncing a
ball against the back wall; Libby is singing; Cindy and Jimmy are
whether the North or South pole is colder; and MJ and Carl are playing
50 out of 99 games of rock, paper, scissors*
Libby:[singing] Noooooooooooobody knooooooows the troubles I've seeeeeeeeeen. Noooooooooooobody knooooooows my sorroooooooows-
Cindy: South pole!
Jimmy: North pole!
Cindy: South pole!
Jimmy: North pole!
Cindy: I say South pole.
Jimmy: I say North pole.
Toady: bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy...
MJ: Okay the score is tied at 49 to 49. This will decide the winner. Are you ready?
Carl: Bring it on, sister!
Carl&MJ: Rock, paper, scissors!*Carl does paper & MJ does scissors*
Carl: Aw, man.*they sit there for a minute*
Carl: Wanna do best 76 out of 151?
DarkBeauty: Um, here's your dinner, I guess.*slides a platter under the cell bars and grimaces at the smell*
Carl: Finally! If I don't eat before I experience massive indigestion.*smells it* Oh...
Cindy:*sniffs the strange concoction and backs away, utterly revolted*I think you'll get indigestion anyway if you eat that.
Libby:*squinting at it from a distance* What is it?
Toady: I know.
Cindy:*pinching her nose shut* Really?
Toady: Sure, it's a little recipe I like to call Creme de la Creme de la sicko.
MJ:*leaning over the dish and trying not to gag* Who is the cook in this establishment?
Toady: Is it cooked? I couldn't tell.
DarkBeauty: The "cooking" is compliments of your captor.
Toady: Oh? Is he planning on giving us food poisoning or starving us to death 'cause I don't know about you guys, but I am not touching that.
Carl: Well, maybe just a taste.
Cindy: No way, mister. You aren't going to keep me up all night because you're throwing up till .
Jimmy: Who is our captor anyway?
Miss Noire:*has a slide projector with a picture of a skinny man in a white lab coat snickering mischievously to himself* Dr. Edgar Spok, a petty low-time crook born Thursday May 2, 1962 at 8:51pm in a small town in Arizona.
Sheen: How do you know so much about him?
Miss Noire: He faxed us his birth certificate and social security number.
Lily: How can you be sure he's, like, the kidnapper?
Miss Noire: Because we received this message last night:
Drew: Your supreme evilness, your soap opera is on.
Dr.Spok: Drew, what have I told you about interrupting me when I'm making threatening phone calls!
Dr.Spok: Wait, what are you doing?
Drew: I need to charge my laptop.
Dr.Spok: No, don't touch tha-*the line goes dead*
Miss Noire: Not the most threatening message I've heard.
Sheen: What kind of sap watches soap operas? He! He! He!
Toad: Didn't you tell me that you watch a soap everyday after that other show, UltraLord?
Sheen: Flowing Hearts and Bowels is not a soap opera! It's an ongoing tv show about four French Salesmen who move to
Lily: Action? Like, what kind of action could a show like that possibly have?
Sheen: if you had ever been constipated you would understand.
Miss Noire:*turns to Sheen and flashes her eyes at him* Please sit down, Mr. Estevez.
Sheen: How do I keep running into girls with freaky eyes? Did you call each other up and were all like, "I'm bored. I know, let’s freaky Sheen out of his socks by giving him weird looks with our weird eyes that do weird things."
Miss Noire: Speaking of weird eyes, I wouldn't be very concerned for your friend’s welfare if only Dr.Spok was involved. But no, we have a bigger and more dangerous person in the picture.*changes to a slide that is black, black, and more black*
Sheen: I see...what is it?
Miss Noire: That is a picture of DarkBeauty.
Toad: I don't see her.
Miss Noire:*points to a spot in the picture where the color is slightly uneven* Right there. That's her.
Sheen: Wow, I can't believe I didn't see it before.
Miss Noire: That's what makes her a major threat; she seems to be able to blend into her environment. Sometimes it's as if she can disappear completely. Nobody knows where she came from or how she got the way she is. All we do know is that with her involved, your friends are in mortal danger.
Sheen: Sooooo...what are you going to do?
Miss Noire: I'll fill out the proper mission papers, work out the logistics, order the supplies, etc. In the mean time, you three will be staying in the west wing. That's our suite and guest service area. Katie and Captain Jameson will be training you for your mission.
Toad:*jaw drops in disbelief* Our mission?!?!*points to Lily, who is applying startling amounts of lip gloss to her lips, and Sheen, who is picking his nose fervently. Mouths "They are going on a mission?!?!"*
Sheen:*catches Toad's look* Hey don't worry, Toad. I've worked as a secret agent twice*holds up three fingers* for BTSO.
Lily: Big Top Secret Organizations? I thought they only hired majorly hot agents.
Sheen: They do...HEY!
Miss Noire: Well, as much as I would love to continue this intellectually stimulating conversation, I have some paperwork to do. Katie, please show our guests out.
Katie: Yes ma'am *closes the door behind her* Well, now you've met "the boss."
Sheen: Why didn't you guys tell me she was a girl?
Katie: We just love the look on newcomers' faces.
Captain: It's priceless!
David:*crouches down and hugs the girl* Well, I
guess you'll have ta-
*some gruff male voices are coming from around a corner*
David:*smile disappears* Kristel, get down.
David:*glancing nervously over his shoulder* Get down!
*swirls into another image*
Kristel:*stumbling down the alley covered in garbage* David?!?[screaming]DAVID!!!
DarkBeauty:*sits up straight, wide eyed, in a cold sweat, and breathing heavily. After looking around shiftily, she holds her head in her hands, grimacing in pain*
Toady: You know-
DarkBeauty: Spins around, startled, to face her*
Toady: That's the fifth time you've woken me up tonight. I'm a very light sleeper.
DarkBeauty:[trying to steady her trembling voice] I-I don't know what your talking about.
Toady: Maybe if you told someone about the nightmares they'll go away.
*DarkBeauty stared into Toady's hazel eyes. She trusted her. She didn't know how or why, but there was something about those eyes*
DarkBeauty: My name is not DarkBeauty.
*With that, Toady sat down just behind the bars. It was her turn to listen. Here is DarkBeauty's story*
DarkBeauty: My real name is...Kristel. I was born into a happy, middle-class family. Until that fateful day...it was a tornado and I was 4. My parents were swept away protecting me and David. David was my older brother and my best friend; we did everything together. He was the best. In the aftermath of the tornado, many people were left homeless, us included...
Kristel: I'm hungry and tired, David, and I want
and Daddy! When are we going to see them again?
David: I-I...**sigh** I think we better find shelter. Here, I'll carry you.*picks up Kristel. She buries her head in his shoulder, sobbing softly*
DarkBeauty: We survived for two years in the alleys and bum communities. We were dirty, hungry, and thirsty all the time, but as long as we had each other everything was fine. On my sixth birthday David was talking me some where for a treat. I remember being anxious to know what it was...
Kristel: Where are we going?
David: You'll see.
Kristel: Why can't you tell me?
David: It's a surprise!
Kristel: Fine.*crosses her arms and puts on a pouty face*
David:*crouches down and hugs arms her* Well, I guess you'll have to-*hears gruff voices coming from around a corner*
David:*smile disappears* Kristel, get down.
David:*glancing nervously over his shoulder* Get down!
Kristel: What's going on?
Kristel:*plants her feet stubbornly I'm not going anywhere till you tell me what's-*David pushes her into a mountain of trash bags* Whoa! Hey what's the big-
David:[in a whisper] Shut up and hide!
*a gang of rough and mean looking teenagers round the corner and spot David*
Gang member#1: Hey, kid, this is the Raven's territory.
David:*throws a quite glance at the trash bags* Well, I...See ya!*runs down the alley*
Gang member#2: He's making a break for it!
Gang member#3: Don't let him get away!
Gang member#4: Let's get him!
All: Yeah!!!* they run after David*
DarkBeauty: I lay under the bags, dizzy and nauseated. The smell made me want to throw up, and sometimes I did. But what made me really miserable was the sound of the gang chasing David as he led them away from me. He had always been the fastest boy at school, but this time he just wasn't has enough...
*Toady winces while DarkBeauty looks on with an
monotonous expression on her face*
DarkBeauty: It's funny, that was the second time someone gave their life protecting me. I didn't cry. I was in shock; pure nightmarish shock. When I finally did emerge from my hiding place, I stumbled down the alley calling his name. Refusing to believe he was gone forever...
Kristel: David? David?!?[screaming] DAVID!?!?!*collapses on the grimy, wet floor and burst in to tears* David...*
*Back at the cell, Carl is singing (if you can
that); Jimmy is banging his extremely bulbous head against a wall, in a
attempt to come up with a brilliant plan to get them out of the their
situation; Cindy is practicing some tae-kwon-do moves on the other side
cell. Everyone else is trying to block out Carl's awful racket, with
Carl:[singing] He can fight (yeah!yeah!) like nobody can! He can sing (yeah!yeah!) like anything. Do you know who he is? He's Llama, Llama, Llama, Llama, Llamaaaaaaaaaaaaa...Llama Boy! Duh-duh.
*There is a long period of awkward silence*
MJ: That was *clears throat* interesting.
Libby:*rocking back and forth on the ground* I can't take this any more!!!*starts running around in circles*
Toady: Uh, Carl, it's not that your singing is bad. . .What am I talking about? Your singing is nothing but bad!
Toady: Come on, MJ. You can take a joke, right, Carl?
Toady: Good. But, unfortunately, that was not a joke.
Carl: Maybe I should bring things down with something a little more Frank Sinatra-ish.
Libby:*stops running in circles and looks at Carl with wide, crazy eyes* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!*runs into a wall*
Toady: You seriously aren't planning on being quite any time soon, are you?
Toady:*sighs and rolls eyes, resting her arms huffily across her chest. Then her face lights up and she looks over at Carl, grinning wickedly. Suddenly, she plasters her best horrified expression on her face and points at Carl* Ahhhhh!!! Carl, you have epidermis all over you! Ew, it's moving!
Carl:*eyes get really wide (well, as wide as they can get) with terror* Epadergimis?!? Get it of me! Get it off me!
Toady: Hold still and I think I can.*slowly approaches the shivering Carl with the horrified expression still plastered on her features. When she gets behind him, she smiles evilly and slaps him soundly up-side the head*
Carl:*rubs the back of his head* Ow!
Toady: Now, SHUT UP!!!
*MJ rolls her eyes and sighs as Toady and Carl continues to fight. She walks over to Cindy*
MJ: Hi, Cindy.
Cindy:*glares icily at MJ* Monica...
MJ: Uh, nice moves. How long have you been taking martial arts?
Cindy:*continues to glare at her* Why do you want to know?
MJ:*looks down, obviously hurt* I was just curious...*sits in silence for awhile* Cindy, why do you hate me so much?
Cindy:*slightly taken aback* What?
MJ: Why do you hate me so much? Why does everything I do seem to disgust you? Does my breath smell or something? You seem like a really cool girl and I would much rather be your friend than your enemy. Just tell me what I did wrong.
Cindy:*looks over at Jimmy; her icy expression replaced with one of guilt* [muttering] Nothing. Absolutely nothing.*stands up and walks to where Jimmy is sitting*
Cindy: So, how's the escape plan coming?
Jimmy:*slowly looks up at Cindy, then returns to hitting his head on the cell wall*
Cindy: I have an idea. Let's pick you up and ram you head first through the wall. Your skull sure is thick enough to break through.
Jimmy:*leans with his forehead against the wall* Vortex...get a life.
*Meanwhile, Dr. Spok is pouting in a small room
Dr. Spok: "Sorry, boss, I need to go get more peanut butter." Ha! Peanut butter my eye! Drew just didn't want to sit in this stupid room watching stupid kids come up with stupid plans to escape from my stupid cell...wait that's not right. Whatever. Grrrr! And "Flowing Hearts and Bowels" doesn't come on till . Ah well, I guess I'll see what the little hoodlums are up to.*presses a big button on a control panel. All the TVs show Libby laying unconscious on the ground*
Dr.Spok: Next.*switches to Carl nursing his wounds* Hmmmm*switches to Toady and MJ having a heated debate* Uh-huh.*finally switches to Cindy and Jimmy*
Jimmy: [on TV] Vortex...get a life.
Cindy: Well, sorry for breathing!
Jimmy: You're not forgiven.
Dr.Spok: Ooooo, I like a good verbal sparring every now and then. This could be interesting. Snack time! *disappears for second. Then reappears with tons of junk food*
Cindy: My my, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I actually slept quite well. Oh, except for the fact that we're going to die any day now. And it's all because of you!
Jimmy: I would have slept better if a certain somebody didn't snore so loudly.
Dr.Spok: Ah, the good, old snoring gag, classic.
Cindy: I do not snore!
Jimmy: Now, Cindy, we both know about your special needs. Denial will get you nowhere.
Cindy: Why you conceited, arrogant, pig-headed, inept, short-
Dr.Spok: Wait, Cindy could win this one.
Jimmy:*looks up at Cindy and blinks innocently* I'm sorry, did you say something?
Dr.Spok: Whoop, spoke too soon.
Cindy:*forms her hands into fists of frustration at her sides and grits her teeth* Grrrrrrr! But...you like...I mean...if...see...you...need...kind of...know...to...it-
Jimmy: Well, as much as I hate to stop this intellectually stimulating conversation.*goes back to banging his head on the cell wall*
Dr.Spok: Ah well, I guess that's that.
Cindy: I was going to apologize for something, but you can forget that now!
Dr.Spok: Or perhaps not.
Jimmy: Uh, whatever.
Dr.Spok: Spoke too soon, again.
Cindy: See that right there! That's why I did it!
Jimmy: Did what?
Cindy: You are always so...Arrrgh!
Jimmy: Did what?
Cindy: It's all your dumb fault!
Jimmy: Did what?
Cindy: [yelling] I HELPED DARKBEAUTY RIG YOUR LOCKER!!!
*Everyone turns to face her in shock. Even
a tad surprised. Dr.Spok, who is staring at the monitor, wide-eyed and
agape, sub-consciously drops a bag of mini pretzels on the ground*
Cindy:*stares back at everyone, not quite believing what she had said* Um, hi? He, He, He. . .
Jimmy:*shock is quickly replaced with blind fury* You. . .did. . .WHAT?!?!?!
Cindy: No, wait, it's not what you think!
Jimmy: That's low, Vortex, even for you.
Dr.Spok: This is better than my soap opera. Ha! Ha!
Cindy: Could you shut up long enough for me to explain?!
Jimmy: Oh, I think you've explained yourself perfectly. Now, if you will excuse
Cindy: Oh no you don't! *grabs his shoulder roughly and spins him around to face her* I am going to tell you what happened and you are going to like it! Got that, Buster?!?!
Cindy:*flicks her hair out of her eyes* Good. Now first of all, I didn't know that DarkBeauty was trying to. . .well, you know. She just said she was going to prank you.
Jimmy: Didn't it strike you as a tad strange that a student aid, who we had all met for the first time that morning, would want to pull a prank on me?
Cindy: Well, I wasn't thinking straight.
Jimmy:[sarcastically] Big surprise there.
Cindy: Nerdtron! Would you please-
Jimmy:[sarcastically] Whoops, my mistake! Pray continue, your highness.
Cindy: STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!!
Jimmy:*looks in the opposite direction* Hey look, a mouse.
Cindy: That's it! Forget I was ever going to say anything, like you always do.*turns huffily and walks away...almost*
Jimmy:*falls into step with her and nudges her teasingly* Aw, come on, Vortex; I was just kidding. Please continue your gripping monologue, no more interruptions.
Cindy:*eyeing him suspiciously* Why are you kind-of-apologizing to me?
Jimmy:*looking around nervously* Uhhhhhhh. . .no reason. . .So, are you going to tell the story or not?
Cindy:*still eyeing him suspiciously* no more interruptions?
Cindy: Well, okay. . .I guess. So, I already told you I didn't know DarkBeauty was actually, you know, "DarkBeauty." And she specifically said that no one would be physically hurt.
Jimmy: But you were counting on her emotionally maiming me.
Cindy: No interruptions, huh. Anyway, DarkBeauty asked me some questions about your locker. What it was made of? What time you usually visit it? Stuff like that.
Jimmy: I hate to intrude upon your fascinating narrative, yet again, but I have to inquire on something.
Cindy: Whatever, just make it quick.
Jimmy:[slightly sarcastic] Now, far be it from me to insult your character in any way, but you do have a tendency to hold a grudge for a long time. And I distinctly remember you being furious with Darkbeauty, or Amy, the night before because she ditched us. Why were you so quick to team up with her?
Cindy: Well. . .because. . .you want the truth, right?
Jimmy:[sarcastically] No, Cindy, I want you to make it up.
Cindy:*sits in silence for awhile with her knees to her chest* I guess it was because. . .I was more mad at you than her.
Cindy:*winces* You just had to ask.*sits in silence again before nervously looking at Jimmy* Do you still want the truth?
Jimmy:*sighs in annoyance*
Cindy: I know, I know. . .*starts taking deep breathes*
Jimmy: Cindy, if you don't want to tell me-
Cindy: No, I need to get this out once and for all...just give me a little time to prepare myself emotionally.*They both sit, yet again, in silence for what seems like a life time. Finally, Cindy opens her eyes*
Jimmy:[annoyed] Are you done?
Cindy: As a matter of fact, yes.
Cindy: Okay. . . I don't suppose I could have another minute or two.
Cindy: Fine, Sheesh! Here it goes. I was mad at you because. . .because. . .*lets out a defeated sigh* because you asked MJ to the dance instead of me.
Dr.Spok: Whoa ho hoooo! Didn't see that one comin'.
Cindy:*trying to hold back tears* I was mad at you for asking MJ to the dance instead of me. Not that what you did doesn't make sense. MJ is perfect, just like Betty Quinlan. And I'm, well, I'm nothing but a green-eyed monster. Both literally and theoretically. Any decent boy with half a brain, much less yours, would choose her over me.
Dr.Spok:*tears running down his ugly face* That is so sad!*grabs a tissue form a box on the control panel, and gives it a hefty blow*
Cindy: It's stupid, I know. MJ's gorgeous, but I'm not all that pretty. She's nice to everyone, while my goal in life seem to be making the lives of others miserable. She probably helps end world hunger in her spare time; I just sit around talking on the phone with Libby, or something. I don't deserve anyone. . . especially you.*tears running down her face, she stands up to leave*
Jimmy:*has been staring straight ahead as if he hadn't heard a word. At her standing up, he reaches out and grabs her hand, finally looking up at her*
Cindy:*turns slightly and looks first at her hand, which is still being grasped by Jimmy, and then at Jimmy himself, slowly sitting down in the process*
Jimmy:*returns to staring straight ahead, but continues to hold Cindy's hand and scoots a little closer to her* You know, the strangest thing happened a few days ago. I passed Betty in the hall, and do you know what happened?
Cindy:*wiping the tears form her face* What?
Jimmy:*glances at Cindy, a small smile forming at the corners of his mouth* Nothing. For the first time in three years, I felt absolutely nothing.
Cindy:*allows a slight smile* Right?
Jimmy: Really. But that wasn't even the strangest part.*scoots a bit closer to her*
Cindy:*now openly smiling* What was?
Jimmy: I got the same feeling I had always gotten when I saw Betty, but it was because you were walking down the hall.
Cindy:*her eyes widen in shock* Really?
Jimmy:*looking at her with a big smile on his face and scoots closer* Really.
Cindy: *smiles hopefully, her eyes brightening, and scoots towards Jimmy*
*Their eyes lock and their less-than-perfect situation fades into the background. All the while, moving closer and closer...*
MJ:[seemingly out of nowhere] OUCH!!!!
Jimmy:*pulls away, blushing wildly*
Dr.Spok: What?!? *sits up straight in shock and anger*
Jimmy: [exceedingly nervous and embarrassed] Oh, well, er, I need to, um, go over, uh, there. Bye Cindy, I mean, Vortex.*hurries over to where Carl is laying*
Dr.Spok: That's it?! This is just plain wrong!!!
Cindy: Jimmy. . .*pulls on her hair in frustration* Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!
Dr. Spok: Oh, come on! They were so close! *bursts into tears*
Drew:*walks into the control room with a bag of groceries* Your supreme evilness, I got some more. . . peanut butter?
Dr.Spok:*Lying on the ground* Oh,*sniffs* very good.
Drew: Uh, sir, are you crying? Funny, I thought "Flowing Hearts and Bowels" didn't come on till .
Dr.Spok: It does, but she was so sad and he was so nice and they were so close and IT WAS SO BITTER SWEET!!!! *starts to wail*
Drew:*stares at Dr.Spok* Well. . .this is extremely awkward. . .<>
Cindy:*stands up and walks towards Jimmy*
MJ: Cindy? Cindy?*sigh*
Toady:*walks up to MJ, dusting off her hands* I sure showed that Carl Wheezer.*smile dissipates* Why the long face?
Chapter 20Dr. Spok: *dramatically enters an all white room and addresses a group of kids in a cage. The cage has a very large tube attached to it that leads behind a big curtain.* Greetings, Jimmy Neutron.
<>Lily:*blows a strand of hair out of her eyes* Are we almost there? The humidity in this air duct is totally ruining my hair!
Sheen: This sure is taking a long time. Must be
Sheen: Haven't you ever thought that maybe everything we think, say, and do is controlled by someone else from another dimension, or something? Like we're giant living puppets?
Toad: Well, if that's true, then let’s hope this puppeteer is intelligent.
Sheen: Yeah, wouldn't it be horrible if we were controlled by some psycho who's obsessed with musicals, gummies, and spouting random things like "Gophers are evil" or "Sea monkeys will rule the world!"
*Inside the container were giant mutated fire
were crawling over each other, snapping their large mandibles, and
to break free of their industry-strength glass prison*
Dr. Spok: Behold what is a-
Jimmy: group of Solenopsis. They are of the genus insect, in the family Formi-
Toady: cidea, order: Hymenoptera (several species of which are common in
All:*stare at her*
Toady: What? Some peoples' hobbies are building model airplanes. Others' are being struck by lightning. Mine happen to be insects, reptiles, and amphibians. Why do you think I chose a nickname like "Toady"?
Carl:*shrugs* I just thought you were weird.
**HONK! HONK! HONK!**
Carl: AHHHHHH!!! *tries to hide behind Toady*
Toady:*punches Carl in the shin (what can I say? She's short.)*
Libby: What is that?
Dr. Spok: The honking noise? It's the tracking device blocker 3000. I figured your government friends would try to rescue you. My contraption should make things more "interesting" for them.
Cindy: Kind of loud, don't you think?
Dr. Spok: Well, there was a quieter version, but it was outside of my budget.
Cindy: Your budget?
Dr. Spok: Yeah, you know, a financial plan to prevent overspending.
Cindy: I know what it is!
Toady: But you’re a villain.
Dr. Spok: Whaddya mean?
Toady: I mean whenever villains want something they just... Never mind. [under breath] Loser.
Lily: Whoa! Like, what was that honking noise?
Toad: Either a tracking device 3000… or Sheen.
Dr. Spok: All I've ever wanted to do was be a
villain! Well, that and marry
Jimmy: You've met Beautiful Gorgeous?!
Dr. Spok: Yes, at the annual villains' convention. As well as Professor Calamitous, Baby Eddie, King Goobot, the Junkman, Meldar, Eustace Strych, to name a few. And every year, they whine and carry on about how you stopped them from committing villainous deeds.
Toady: And you got into this convention?
Dr. Spok: If spying on everyone from a vent qualifies as "getting into" it, then yeah.
Jimmy: What's your point?
Dr. Spok: I've never had that experience! I wanted so much to do something so evil that I needed to be stopped by you and I tried everything I could think of.
Drew: Which wasn't much.
Dr. Spok: Drew!
Dr. Spok: Then the other villains, especially Beautiful *wiggles eyebrows*, would know my name and I might finally get admitted into the villains' convention. And now that I have you, I will at last be regarded as an intimidating super villain!!!
Dr. Spok: Silence! Tonight, when you are laying in your cell, every inch of your skin burning like a thousand, er , burning...things, you will know I exist and most importantly, I will have my REVENGE!!! Muwahahahahahahahaha!!! Muwahahahahahahahaha!!! Muwahahahahahahahahah!!!
Everyone (including the henchmen, Drew, and even the ants): Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Cindy: Why the heck do we have to pay? Jimmy's the
Jimmy: Thanks a lot, Vortex. I can't believe I ever...
Cindy, Dr. Spok, Toady, Libby, and MJ: Ever what?!?!
Jimmy:*looks at all of them weirdly, but glares at Cindy* Nothing. I was wrong, and there's no need to talk about it ever again.
Toad: Let's choose the vent by chance. 1, 2, 3!
*Toad & Sheen point to the vent on the right. Lily points to the one on the left*
Toad: Sheen, help me move this vent.
Lily:*shrugs and examines her fingernails*
Dr. Spok: Now, Jimmy Neutron, prepare to meet your
4! 3! 2! 1-
*Toad, Sheen and Lily are tugging on the vent with
might. Well, Toad & Sheen are. I'm not too sure about Lily.*
Drew: Why don't they put it in the written law of
Sheen: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Dr. Spok: Because there's no such thing!
Sheen:*throwing himself at the bars, backing up,
Toad: Sheen, I don't think that's going to-
Drew: Why don't they make one?
*All three tugging again*
Dr. Spok: I have no clue!!!
Drew: Whatever, Dude. It's your life.
Dr. Spok: Now, where was I? Oh yes,
Sheen: It's budging!
Dr. Spok: 5!
Lily: Like, finally.
Dr. Spok: 4!
Sheen: We can't do it.
Dr. Spok: 2!
Dr. Spok: 1!
Chapter 24*Cindy, Libby, and MJ are walking down the sidewalk on a street of homes in Retroville*
Chapter 25 [Oh, btw: If you have the song "Get the Party Started" by Pink, I suggest you play it while you read it. Now let's go]Alfred:*dashes into a ginormous kitchen, like the kind at a restaurant, with a bunch of maids fiddling around* I need a dozen chocolate covered strawberries and a six pack of Purple Flurp now!
**Jimmy opens his bedroom door and Toady, Sheen,
Toady: Well, boys, we've got a lot of work to do.
**Cindy, Libby, and MJ are riding an elevator**
Cindy: You have an elevator in your house?!? I need to sit down.
MJ: We should be arriving at my personal quarters shortly.
Libby: You have "personal quarters?" I'd be happy if I had my "personal space!"
MJ: Ah, we're here.
**As shiny elevator door slides open, Cindy and Libby gasp. Before them is a very cozy and modest sized room, but the luscious, soft carpet, fire place in one wall, plasma screen TV, Barbra Bekry designed couch, and five different game systems stand as evidence that it was, none the less, expensive.
Libby: This is your room?!
Cindy: *passes out*
MJ: Hm? Oh no, this isn't my room!
Cindy:*starts to regain conscientiousness*
Libby: Well, should think so.
MJ: This is the sitting room.
Libby & Cindy: o_0
MJ:*points to three doors on different walls. One of the doors is plain white, but has a lock; another has a life-sized picture of Toad on it and the third has a bunch of signs overlapping each other (i.e. "All vehicles other than Toady will be towed," "NO SMOKING," "All employees must wash hands," "Forget the dog, beware of owner," and "Snake X-ing")* That's Toad's room, Toady's room, and my room. You’re free to wander wear ever you like, except Toady's room.
MJ: Do you like reptiles, amphibians, insects, arachnids, and other creepy, crawly creatures?
Cindy: No, gross!
MJ: Don't go into Toady's room. *walks up to the plain door* But you can go into mine.
**With a dramatic flourish, MJ throws open the door and flips on a light switch. A small chandelier illuminates the giant room**
Libby & Cindy:*gasp!*
**MJ's room was the size of an apartment. There were two doors besides the one they entered through. They both were plain white, a beautiful contrast to the purple walls and carpet. In fact, the whole decor was centered on all different shades purple. It was simply breath taking! All the more reason for Cindy to pass out**
Cindy: Oh. *collapses on the ground*
Libby: Okay, who are you and how did you get my life?
MJ: Oh my, look at the time! We better get this party started. *presses a button on an intercom next to the door (yes, she has an intercom in her room)* Alfred, I'd like to have a full spa treatment up here. We need to look our best tonight.
Cindy:*rubbing her hands together* Let the pampering begin!
Toady: Toad, my bag.
Toad:*hands her a duffle bag*
Toady: Thank you *opens it up and starts digging through it, throwing a Scrabble board, a magic lamp, a chain saw, and a cow (don't ask) behind her shoulder in the process. The chainsaw flies through the door (literally) and Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl listen in horror as the commotion of the chainsaw reaches their ears: wood breaking, a cat screeching, and Mr. Neutron yelling, "Is that a chain saw? And how did this cat get in here? Hey! Ouch! Ouch! Bad kitty!"*
Jimmy:*eyes the duffle bag anxiously* You had a chainsaw in your bag...
**Sheen dashes over to Jimmy's door and looks out to survey the damage. Carl hesitantly follows.*
Sheen:*grinning manically* Whoa... cool!
Carl:*grabs his hauler*
Hugh:*his head appears at the top of the stair case. He looks pretty beat up*Don't worry, I'm Oooookay!
*cat hisses off-screen and Hugh gets pulled out of sight*
Hugh (off screen): Never mind.
Toady: Ah-ha! *holds up a medium sized black box* This, my dear friends, is my hair care case. *pulls a barber pole and a swivel chair out of her bag* Have a seat, Carl.
Carl:*slowly sits down* Um, is this going to hurt?
Toady: Duh. *whips out a giant razor and starts it up with a roar*
Carl: AHHHHH!!! *passes out*
Toady:*giggles evilly* Get's 'em every time.
Sheen:*just about to taste some of Toady's hair products*
Toady: Sheen, why don't you go get cleaned up in the bathroom?
Sheen: But I- *stops and looks fearfully from Toady to her duffle bag and plasters a smile on his face and side steps into the bathroom*
Toady:*snaps on some rubber gloves* Now, let's see. What can I do with this *wrinkles her nose in disgust* hair.
Sheen:*opens the door* Finished!
Toady: Did you brush your teeth?
Sheen: [indignant] Yes!
Toady: With toothpaste?
Sheen:*opens his mouth, but freezes* I'll be right back. *dashes into the bathroom again*
Toady: Anyway, you should probably lay out your suits. You do have suits?
Sheen:*comes out* Finished!
Toady: Did you shower?
Sheen: [monotonous] Oh, darn it. *goes back in*
Toady: Good, 'cause I'm doing your hair next.
Jimmy: What's wrong with my hair?
Sheen: Ye-...No. *goes back*
Toady: Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Jimmy: Yes, and I do not see anything wrong with my current hair styling.
Toady: *blinks at him for a few seconds* HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! But seriously, I am going to do something with that pudding glop on top of your *wrinkles nose in disgust* head.
Sheen: *rolls his eyes in frustration* Come on! *stomps back into the steamy bathroom*
**The gymnasium at Lindbergh Elementary is packed
punch, cookies, and tweens shaking their "groove thangs" to Ciara's
"1, 2 Step." Everyone including Libby, Sheen, Jimmy, MJ, and even
Carl are dancing. Toady is on the stage in an over dramatic DJ get-up,
like there's no tomorrow. Toad is standing on the table Toady's DJ
is on and pop-lockin' like there's no tomorrow. Cindy, well, Cindy's
next to the punch bowl**
Toady: *speaking into a microphone after the music ends* And that was "1, 2 Step" by Ciara!
Jimmy: You're a really good dancer, MJ.
MJ: [nervous] Uh, thanks! I guess...
Cindy: [mockingly] "You're a really good dancer, MJ."*scoffs in disgust and throws her cup of punch at the wall. Unfortunately, the cup was empty and bounced harmlessly off the wall, landing straight in the trash can, therefore, destroying Cindy's destructive intentions*
Cindy: Oh, darn it!
Libby: *dances up to her best friend* Woooo! Come on girl you haven't danced all night and there are only a few more songs left. *grabs her friends hands and gives her a puppy pout* I hate to see you off to the side like this. Are you feeling alright?
Cindy: *glaring in Jimmy and MJ's direction* Actually, I'm feeling sick to my stomach right now, thank you very much.
Libby: *rolls her eyes towards the ceiling* Not this again. Girl, you are obsessed.
Cindy: I'm sorry, Libby, but I'm a little ticked that MJ thinks she can just fly into town in some first-class jet and steal my man.
Libby: Are you kidding me? After the way you have taunted, teased, and hurt that boy over the years, you have no right to suddenly be claiming him as your own.
Toady:*watching Jimmy and MJ from her DJ booth before turning to Toad* What's taking her so long?
Toady:*narrows her eyes at her sister* She's getting cold feet. I can feel it.
Toad: [imitating Darth Vader] The force is strong with this one.
Toady:*hauls a record from underneath the booth and places it one of the record players while winking at Toad* Desperate times call for desperate interference. *turn on the microphone and prepares to speak into it*
Jimmy: MJ, I want you to know… *shifts embarrassedly* I want you to know I had a lot fun tonight and… and I’m glad you agreed to come with me. Not a lot of girls would do that. Most people just think I’m a geek.
MJ: [even more nervous] Uh, yeah, don’t *chuckles nervously* don’t mention it.
Toady (from on stage through microphone): Okay, mic check, mic check. Good. Now, I think it’s time we brought things down a bit with a slow song *fixes MJ with a withering glare*: Confessions by Usher
MJ:*spins around and faces Toad with an annoyed expression on her face*
Toady:*continues to glare at her* So now would be a good time to confess any confessions you want to confess to somebody who deserves to hear you confess the truth…nooow.
MJ:*glares back at her younger sister while making a bunch of angry hand motions*
Jimmy:*taps her on the shoulder* Uh, MJ?
MJ: *spins around to face him looking as if nothing just happened* Jimmy! *grabs his hand* Um, say, can I talk to you in the hallway...alone.
Jimmy: *misunderstanding her intentions, he runs his hand through his hair* Uh, yeah, sure, anything you want!
MJ:*tries to smile but fails miserably* Great.
Cindy: *looking calm and collected* You’re right, Libby. I was wrong to be upset.
Libby: *throws her hands upward in relief* Thank you!
Cindy: Besides, MJ is a friend now; a good friend; a very good friend, in fact; possible even a- *turns to see the MJ and Jimmy walking out of the gym and into the hall, and Jimmy looks far more excited than he should. Her expression morphs from being calm and collected, to bring utterly enraged* WITCH!!!
Toady: *standing on here tip-toes as she squints
sister* Where’s she going? Toad, where is she going?
Toad: *shrugs again*
Toady: I need to know. Toad, go spy on them.
Toad: *turns to his twin sister* [dryly] Surely you jest.
Toady: Surely I don’t. Go find out what MJ’s doing.
Toad: *narrows his eyes at her*
Toady: Hey, you owe me, remember?
[A/N: those of you with commendable memory will remember that in Chapter 3 Toady covered for Toad. And Toad, in return, said he owed her one and she said she would remember that--hence, this line.]
Toad:*scowls darkly, but hops off the stage and follows after his sister*
MJ: *fidgeting nervously* Uh, Jimmy, I took you out here because I need to talk to you about something very important.
Jimmy: I needed to talk to you about something, as well.
MJ: [hopefully] Oh?
Jimmy: Well, ask you something really.
MJ: Oh… Jimmy, I-
Jimmy: I’m not very good at this…
Jimmy: I’ve never actually done this before.
Jimmy: I know I must…
Jimmy: It’s about you and we. I mean, you and he. I mean, ugh!
MJ: Jimmy, I don’t think-
Jimmy: No, I can do this.
MJ: It’s not that, it’s-
Jimmy: Wait, just hear me out. MJ, will be my-
MJ: I HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU!!!
Jimmy:*blinks a few times* What?
MJ:*eyes welling up with tears* I… I have to break up with you. That’s what I wanted to talk with you about.
Jimmy:*still shocked* But how? I mean, why? I mean, I thought, you know…
MJ: Jimmy, I do like you. I like you a lot, it’s just-
Jimmy:*nods* only like a friend.
MJ: No, I liked you as more than a friend, but-but it could never work between us. Any more than anything could work between Sheen and Cindy.
Jimmy:*wrinkles his nose in disgust* Well, that just messed up.
MJ: Excatly. I really wanted this to work. But, I don’t know how to explain it; we just aren’t… right for each other.
MJ: Trust me; it’s taken loads of lectures *touches her cheek gingerly*and slap from a girl who is, I’ll admit, always right about these things.
Jimmy: *nods knowingly* Toady.
MJ: [very taken aback] How did you know?
Jimmy: Oh, she was spent the entire afternoon going on about all the things that are wrong about you. *pauses for a second* Do you have to wear men’s deodorant?
MJ: [sulkily] Yes.
Jimmy: Oh, *tries to stifle a laugh* I’m so sorry.
MJ: Yeah, I know. So, anyway, I know that the whole, “let’s just be friends” line is the last thing you want to hear, so I would like you to think of me as not only your friend, but your girl encyclopedia. So if you’re having girl troubles and want advice that actually makes sense; don’t feel comfortable talking to Libby; well, you can’t talk to Cindy; don’t want to be torn to shreds by Toady, or actually want to have a two-way conversation, than just call me up, ‘kay?
MJ: *gives a little half smile and extends her hand towards him* Friends?
Jimmy: *looks down at her hand for a few moments before slowly shaking it and returning her smile* Friends.
MJ: Good, now let’s get back in there.
**They both start walking back down the hall and MJ turns to Jimmy and remarks in a playful voice: **
MJ: Now, Cindy Vortex, she’s another story.
Jimmy: Cindy? I have no idea what you are talking about.
**They both walk in silence until they re-enter the gym, but not in an awkward silence. And somehow, deep down inside her, MJ knew everything was going to turn out okay. Now there was only one thing left to do...**
**We see black, pitch black. No light, no sound,
nothing except for one stream of light illuminating a telephone on a
tall coffee table. I can’t tell you whether or not it’s in the middle
room because you can’t see any walls. Suddenly, the phone rings. A
emerges from the darkness and removes the receiver from its charger**
Dark Beauty (speaking into phone): Hello?
Goobot: Hello, Dark Beauty, it is I, King Goobot. I have a job for you.
Dark Beauty: Who’s the guy?
Goobot: A pesky boy who has insisted on causing trouble for me. A boy named Jimmy Neutron.
Dark Beauty: … What?
Goobot: I know that it may seem below you to “take out” an eleven year-old, but this kid is not to be under estimated. Oh, and I would very much appreciate it if you could be so kind as to “take care of” his little friends, as well. Of course, you will be handsomely rewarded for you expertise in this [voice fads out]
**Dark Beauty’s mind was spinning. Jimmy Neutron? She would have to whack Jimmy Neutron? She knew she had to do it, but for some strange reason an images of Toady of Toady kept coming back to her.**
Toady: So, you’re saying crying is a source of weakness?
**Then she remembered Toady’s eyes**
Toady: Well, I think I would rather be weak…
**What was it about those eyes? **
Toady: There’s nothing wrong with grieving.
**She was sure she had seen them somewhere before**
Toady: There’s nothing wrong with crying…
**Dark Beauty winced in pain and massaged her temple with one hand. Where had she seen those eyes before? **
Toady: or feeling sad…
**It felt like her head was about to explode. She needed to remember. **
Toady: or missing a loved one.
** Who? Who?!**
Toady: Allow yourself to be "weak" for just a minute, and you'll see how strong you really are.
**A million images were swimming around in her head, and it felt like she was lost in them, lost in memories. **
Toady: You have to decide to be strong because it's something that no amount of money can ever buy.
**Memories of her parents, memories of the tornado, memories of her street life, memories of the pain, memories of… Then it all just fell into place. Dark Beauty knew exactly where she had seen those eyes before. All the images blurred into two images: one was of Toady that fateful night, and the other was one of David. He was leaning over her smiling at her with those hazel eyes sparkling in the darkness. Both of them said, in the same voice with the same eyes:*
Toady & David: Goodnight, Kristel.
Dark Beauty:*her eyes fill up with tears*[in a whisper] David…
Goobot: What? Hello? Are you there?
Dark Beauty: What? Oh, uh, yeah, I am.
Goobot: Good, so when should we meet to work out the details?
Dark Beauty: Um, actually… actually… never.
Goobot: Okay, so… excuse me?
Dark Beauty: I’m not going to do it.
Goobot: Perhaps you miss heard. I am willing to pay you 1.5 million dollars for this job!
Dark Beauty: Good bye, Goobot.
Goobot: But I-
**Dark Beauty hangs up and slowly reaches underneath the table. She brings up a big, fluffy teddy bear with a velvet ribbon tied around its neck and hugs it tightly as she rocks back and forth on the ground. Finally, after 16 years, she allows one tear to fall from her sky, blue eyes. **
Dark Beauty: David…
Dedicate to my late paternal grandmother “Tutu”, the strongest woman I’ve ever known.Directed by
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