Questions
for Nav Aksha'at
Question from Pigquet: @Nav--How do you
pronounce your last name?
Know that's lame and slow, but I have to learn.
NAV:
Pheeow...OK. Let's see. Nav Aksha'at.
The "a" in my first name is a flat-sounding a...like the one
in "avenue" or "dad".
All
the a's in my last name are soft-sounding a's,
pronounced "ah". The inflections are different, though. On the first
A, Aksha'at, your voice goes
down, like when saying "squawk".
On he second a, Aksha'at, the
inflection goes up, like when saying
"duh". The third a, Aksha'at,
sounds just like the word
"ought".
The
little apostrophe between the two a's indicates
a stop. So there's a miniscule pause, resulting in the pronunciation
"akh,sha,at".
Question
from andrea: Nav: -why do you have to be so
cool!?
-what was the first accident u ever had?
-were you very mischievous when you were a kid?
-do you like music? if so, what kind?
-do u have any brothers or sisters? how big is your
family?
-have you always wanted to become what you r now? :-P
Answer:
NAV:
(shrugging) I guess whatever mighty, super-intelligent,
incredibly talented higher power created me just saw fit to make me
this
way. ;-)
Hmm...the
first accident I ever had, if I recall my
parents' stories, was when I was a year old and I climbed out of my
crib and
fell down the heating vent. The first I actually remember, however, was
when I
was about 6 or 7 and I broke into the school mechabiochemistry lab,
mixed a few
things together, and they blew up in my face.
So
ya, I guess you could say I was mischievous, if
by mischievous you mean "constantly in trouble with every teacher and
the
hero of my entire class". Of course, education was a bit weird on
Numeria.
Boys and girls went to separate schools, and religion was imposed upon
students
very strictly. My teachers' hypocrisy really bothered me - they
lectured us
about rules and religious codes and then broke those same rules on a
daily
basis - so I spent most of my childhood acting out, trying to prove to
the
world just how ludicrous the whole system was.
Over
time, though, it became staggeringly clear to
me that my efforts were nothing more than a waste of energy. One by
one, all of
my friends adopted the religious doctrine and became the same pompous,
humorless lackeys that I had spent my childhood loathing. Now don't get
me
wrong, I have nothing against religion - just the institutionalized use
of
religion to herd the masses into a meaningless, rule-driven existence
controlled by an elite few. I refuse to follow laws set out by a bunch
of
hypocrites that aren't even written anywhere in our holy book. It just
really
pisses me off. Now that I think about it, it's really the only thing
that
pisses me off.
Anyway,
I guess I didn't set out to become the
seventh most notorious criminal in the galaxy. I mean, does anyone ever
really
set out to do something like that? I just can't picture some kid coming
out and
saying, "gee, Mommy, I think I'd like to be a hunted criminal when I
grow
up! Wouldn't that be fun?!" Circumstances just got out of control.
It
all started when I was about 16. I was walking
home one day after Shaha'da class
(where we were taught to memorize the laws of our holy book) and I
witnessed
something that pretty much spun my life forever. On the street leading
to my
home, I came upon a young woman who had just been caught stealing some
bread
from the local bakery. It turns out that her husband had abandoned her
because
she had only been able to have female children, and now she and her two
little
daughters were starving.
Since
you don't know anything about Numerian
religion, let me clarify: women are nothing more than possessions in
the eyes
of our culture. They have no rights, no voice, and most are treated
worse than
dogs. They can't work, they can't attend school past a certain point,
and they
are usually married off extremely young and spend their lives taking
care of
their husbands' every whim and desire. Of all the things I can't stand
about
Numeria, that's the worst. In addition, any crime committed by a woman
is
considered a capital offense. In other words, stealing that loaf of
bread was a
crime punishable by death.
The
religious police killed that poor woman right in
front of her two children, and then left them abandoned on the street
to fend
for themselves.
Something
in me just couldn't take it anymore. I
almost lost it. Every time I saw that woman's dying face I pictured the
face of
my little sister, and my mind flashed forward ten or fifteen years. I
thought,
what if she gets married off to some drunken wife-beater, and I can't
do
anything to help her? What if she somehow breaks a rule and ends up
getting
executed? How can I let my sister live on a planet where they'd kill a
woman
for trying to save the lives of her own children?
You
see, my little sister is pretty much an angel in
Numerian form. I practically worship that kid. She's like straight out
of those
bad Earth movies where a lovely maiden goes out and sings in the woods
and all
the wildlife flocks to be with her. She's innocence and sweetness all
bundled
up and tied with a bow. I would give her anything, do anything for her.
It's
actually kind of pathetic. If she asked me to jump off a cliff, I'd say
"which one?". Numeria wasn't the place for someone like her. I
decided the best thing I could do for her was to give her a chance at a
different kind of life.
So,
the next night, I carried my sleeping little
sister out of her room. I found the two little girls whose mother had
been
murdered, and I took them with me too. The four of us snuck aboard an
old cargo
ship, and I hotwired the system. I'll admit that I might have read a
couple
hundred textbooks in the mecha-chem lab when I was supposed to be
memorizing
doctrine. ^_^ Fifteen minutes later we
were in space.
All
of this took some explaining to my sister, but
being 8 years my junior she wasn't particularly opposed to a big space
adventure with her brother. Not that it was going to be a big space
adventure.
I already had a course of action set out.
I
took my sister and the orphan girls to Mejair,
which is a planet that I chose deliberately for its matriarchal system.
The
women make the rules on Mejair, so I knew my sister would never be
forced into
the powerless life she would have had on Numeria. I stayed there for
about a
year while my sister grew acclimated to life on the new planet. It came
as no
surprise to me how quickly she adapted. Then again, I always knew she
was
destined for great things.
As
soon as she was well-established, I left Mejair
and returned to Numeria. Living on another planet for a year had made
it
blindingly clear to me just how despicable Numeria was. Somewhere in
the
boiling cess-pool of hatred and anger that was otherwise known as my
brain, a
thought formulated. It went something like, "You think THAT'S stealing?
You don't know the meaning of the word".
After
that, I went on a bit of a crime spree on
Numeria. I stole anything and everything owned by the government, each
time
leaving some kind of note or message DARING them to catch me. If God
was on
their side, I argued, then surely they should be able to apprehend me
easily.
Their growing frustration each time I escaped filled me with the worst
kind of
glee. Finally, after publically exposing their helplessness for a final
time, I
made an announcement. I would continue stealing from anyone and
everyone until
I amassed enough money to BUY Numeria and end this ridiculous regime
once and
for all. Then I blew up the religious headquarters and the local police
establishment.
That
was it for me and my home planet. I've never
gone back since. The good news, however, is that I'm about two thirds
of the
way there in terms of money. Maybe I'll exile those pompous idiots to
Mejair
once I own Numeria :-D
Let's
end this rolicking good tale on a positive
note, shall we? ...My favorite music. I have to say, I enjoy a good
love song.
Mejair has some great ones.
Question
from Miss Punk:
How old are you? What's your favorite
color? Do you still have feelings even if you’re partly a robot?
Answer:
NAV:
I'm 24, my favorite color is anything that can
be sold for large sums of money, and I'm a soulless robotic shell
devoid of any
emotions. Jeez, what do you think? Of course I have feelings! I'm
offended that
you could even ask a question like that. ...Just kidding.
;-P
Interesting
fact though: because part of my liver is
robotic, and I have nanites in my digestive system, I can drink a
ridiculous
amount of alcohol and not even get drunk in the slightest. Top THAT. ^_^
Question
from Rachel:
Out of all the money and priceless
possessions you've stolen, which is your favorite?
What is your greatest fear?
Answer:
NAV:
Hmmm...good question. I suppose my favorite
stolen item isn't exactly that priceless...it's actually more of a hunk
of
junk. I'm talking about my spaceship, of course. The Shaha'da,
as I affectionately refer to her, is held together by not
much more than used gum and paperclips, but she and I have been through
a lot
together. Haven't we snookums...who's a good ship? Who is it!
Ahem.
My greatest fear is that I will be abducted by
red aliens, tickled mercilessly, and made to eat Tek-nok-Shii len
through a
straw. I'm kidding, of course. My greatest fear is probably something
happening
to my sister. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
Question
from andrea:
That sounded like Hans Solo! :-P
Answer:
NAV: Well
duh. He's only the coolest Star Wars character ever. I used to mooch
old Earth
channels that had been broadcast into space. I saw the weirdest movies.
Question
from Gwen: Nav, F. Carl, Sheen, Lee? Whatchu whatchu know?
Answer:
NAV:
Whatchu know 'bout me? Whatchu whatchu
know 'bout me?
They
say my lip gloss is cool
My
lip gloss be poppin'!
I'm
standing at my locker
And
all the boys keep stoppin'...
**cough**
That
is the worst earth song I have ever heard in my
entire life. If I weren't sexist in favor of women, I'd - what's the
phrase I'm
looking for here? - "pop a cap" in L'il Mama's talentless derriere
F. CARL: I kinda like the song...
SHEEN:
I kinda like L'il Mama.
I'm doing it so someday my sister - and all Numerian women, for that
matter - can actually have a VOICE. I'm doing it so that they can count
for something more than just property.
I'm no idiot. I know that money makes the world go round. And the more
money I get, the more I get to say WHICH way the world goes round.
For me, stealing is revenge, but it's also a way to fight injustice. I
don't care who I steal from, as selfish as that may sound. The end
justifies the means.
...By the way, can I have your watch?
NAV: Haha, no, it's definitely not a Numerian
thing :-P
In fact, I'd say that most Numerians would be
disgusted by my mechanical parts. On Numeria, if you suffer an injury
and lose a limb, it's considered the will of God. You're not allowed to
get a prosthetic limb.
But yeah, I did acquire my lovely mechanical bits-and-pieces through an
accident - or more accurately, a series of accidents. A bulletwound
here, some shrapnel there, a bomb that hadn't been diffused properly...
My robotic add-ons are the product of bad luck and sheer stupidity on
my part. Or, in a more optimistic light, they are the product of
insanely good luck, because I could have (and probably should have)
died in each of the mishaps that made me what I am today.
Question from Katie:
Okay, here's a question that has been bothering me. It may have been
answered already... maybe even in TOSOT, and I just missed it, haha.
But yeah, so Nav. He's...not human. What exactly is it that makes him
not human? What differentiates him physically from humans? Outside of
the cyborg stuff, cuz that isn't part of his normal anatomy.
Answer:
RANDOM
GALACTIC ANTHROPOLOGIST: Ahem, yes, I see. The Numerians. A
fascinating people. **adjust spectacles** Very little is known
about the origin of the Numerian people. Their own oral history goes
back only 5,000 years - beyond that, there are no real records of their
existence.
Considering Numeria's prominent features - such as a lack of other
primate species, arid climate, lack of seasons (caused by a 1 degree
tilt on their axis), and small oceans - it seems strange that the
Numerians would have evolved to be almost genetically identical with
the people of Earth. Several theories have been proposed to explain
this phenomenon.
The first theory suggests that humans and Numerians are perhaps the
most dramatic example of parallel evolution imaginable - a sort of
interplanetary fluke of flabbergasting proportions. The current
differences in the planet's features are due to a cataclysmic event of
some kind that occurred about 5,000 years ago, and not only wiped out a
large percentage of the life on the planet, but also altered the
climate and destroyed whatever civilization may have preceded it.
The other main theory is favored by alien abduction buffs, and suggests
that one of the other alien races in the galaxy actually took a number
of humans from Earth and transplanted them on Numeria some 50 centuries
ago. The motivation behind such an action is unclear.
The latter theory seems to be supported by the Numerian creation story,
which states that their people walked down from the sky 5,000 years ago
on a stairway of fire. Hmm, the Numerian religion is quite fascinating.
In addition to being fully integrated into every aspect of social and
political life, it also provided a myriad of references to "good, evil,
and apathetic celestial beings". Consequently, when contact was made
with extraterrestrials, no panic ensued. In fact, it only served to
cement the other tenets of religious life.
NAV: Ya, like
rampant sexism, idiotic self-importance, and complete lack of logical
thought.
RANDOM GALACTIC
ANTHROPOLOGIST: Ah, yes, well, it is not my place to judge.
NAV: Well it
IS mine, and I say that Numeria is one big fat steaming pile of STUPID.
NAV: Of course it has! Isn't it comforting to know
that your doting affection is transforming me into a swell-headed
arrogant prick even as we speak? ...Just kidding. I love you guys.
Platonically, unfortunately.
DJ: I would exterminate all life in the
universe.
APRIL: I would initiate a duel, and we would fight until the victor
stood over the bloody body of their slain opponent, Klondike bar held
high in triumph.
LEE: I would offer to trade something for it, perhaps?
NAV: Steal it, of course. DUH.
FUTURE LIBBY: I would begin by asking very nicely. And, if that didn't
work, I would try to buy it. If that didn't work, I'd just take it and
eat it and then pretend like I didn't do it.
FUTURE SHEEN: Hey, why the hell aren't you giving Libby a klondike bar?
Don't make me smack a bitch!
FUTURE CARL: Um, I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't really eat ice
cream...
AURORA: I only want DJ's klondike bar.